escaping conclusions

escaping conclusions

 

 

the collision of ideas

crossing yellow lines

of poetic justice

 

we write just before

the airbags blow 

the pen shatters

 

seat belt holds us to the shadows

the pages flip end over end

on the scene, the paramedics

try to resuscitate a dying stanza

 

driving while intoxicated with a muse's liquor

is a proposition

too inverted

as the desk is totaled

 

I loved you just before I took the wheel

now I am a forever junkyard

bard

 

and you are riding with someone else

leaning out the window

hair blowing in a spring breeze.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/22/24

Reviews

[Miss Sharon]

Fabulous write my friend. Pure "Jacob magic!" ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Sharon,
j.

[Soren]

These metaphors felt so real in the read. Yes I have experienced them all and probably will again never learning from experience. I hope I don't get my license revoked. Well written Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You will never get your license revoked the way you write...
thanks, Soren.

[Poetic Beauty]

Oh writing and writing and writing some more only to scribble out words lines and stanzas and having to begin again cause it didn’t come out the way it was supposed to and the idea morphed on paper not quite looking or sounding the way it should

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we create wonderful creatures with our words, or sometimes monsters...kind of a crap shoot, isn't it?
Thanks, P.B.

j.

[Poetic Beauty]

It definitely can be a crap shoot at beast some days and then others come from somewhere in the ether and are beautiful with little effort lol 😂 I think artists of any sort love pain and frustration a little

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Driving Miss Crazy? Whether you're driving her crazy or vice versa she seems to have driven you to the brink. At least she didn't drive you to drink, just think, and write her into a poem. Had you been a novelist you could have written her in as a villain or vixen and bumped her off in the plot. But even if you live through a train wreck you might be emotionally traumatized by the experience; sweating at the sound of a whistle or the clang of a crossing bar. But I shall endeavor not to make a hastily escaping conclusion. I always enjoy your extended metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate what you wrote...yes, "Driving Miss Crazy"--

"I'm just tryin' to drive you to the book store< Miss Crazy"----

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hahaha...Women, can't live with them, if they try to kill you.

[Chase Dylan]

I went through some of your recent works, and this is by far and away the standout, in my opinion.

This is an absolute masterclass poem, at first I thought the muse line was the most poignant, but upon dismantling and studying... It is the " I loved you before I took the wheel"

This is the most powerful to me, because it cements my mind in a time of nonchalance and whimsy...
A time before the harshness of each choice settles in.
Before the colorful landscape is bleached with dismal gray.
Of connection and gain...
A perspective gained through love lost.

Simply heart-achingly beautiful...

Thank you for this, and thank you for the lesson learned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your very kind review, Chase,
j.

[JD Major]

You have a unique Voice, Jacob ...imaginative, entertaining ......paramedics, dying stanzas :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, JD,
j.

[Desert Knave]

One of the things I love most is "driving while intoxicated with a muse's liquor". Some nights are blanks, but the nights when the pen starts smokin' really make up for it. Nice write. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind words, Jim,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Thoughts like dates can go out with a bang or quietly retreat to the background and disappear forever. Never a happy ending.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nope, never.
thank you, andrew,
j.

[John Sullivan]

"We write just before the airbags blow, the pen shatters..." I really like this piece, Jacob. The ones that get away... whether it be women or poems...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, John...
I can't help thinking in metaphor...
just natural.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

we write just before
the airbags blow
the pen shatters

A last surge of energy to say it all before the pen is buried with the poet.

leaning out the window
hair blowing in a spring breeze

now that’s for youngsters, not us old farts:)

I think it’s best to wear a safety belt:). There is so much here J. So much to contemplate. Great write.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Chris...I was thinking of something earlier tonight...going on dates in my parents' oldsmobile.
Big front seat, no bucket seats, girlfriend actually being able to sit right next to me...the good old days.
j.