The Feast

  I can feel the forest’s willowy breeze tickle my neck. Her trees creakily yearn for our connection once again, yet this call feels stronger than any before. I know not what else she could need from me, save the very bones beneath my dry, fragile skin. Terrible, yet beautiful; powerful, but compassionate; her woodland contains both my highest aspirations and most grievous short comings. 

  Getting up from my brown, brittle rocking chair, I advance once again toward the mouth of her dark jungle as she implores me to come quicker with each painful step. Fighting through sharp thickets of thorns, I lose sight of the sun overhead. A horrid heartbeat throbs in my ears as I run to our old, familiar clearing (now black) in which we first met all those years ago. Beautifully radiant, my blossom was. Never had I seen such a woman so pure and dangerous. Fear had clouded my head, but she soothed my brain as though petting a cat.

  Now, instead of a heartbeat, her shrill, screaming commands repeatedly pummel my ear drums. I fall in the center of her swirling leaves, a tornado of green and brown forming around my supine body. This feels strange. The forest is hungrier than before, and foreseeing the terrible event about to take place, I leap up and charge the solid, rotating wall of foliage to no avail. I hear the familiar whisper of her voice speaking sweetly as she did our first day together. “Do not be afraid. I am here, you are here. We will be one soon enough, my dear. Do not resist. The process is painful but the reward sweet as dew and honey.” Her soft words lull me to sleep and I fall on my back once again. 

  Slowly, the leafy whirlwind lifts me in the air, revolving around me as though I were the eye of a dark storm. The wall turns faster, constantly increasing in speed when finally my blossom tears the flesh from my body until there is nothing of me left but pearl white sticks. Taking them in her formless, airy hand, my love distributes the bones throughout her mysterious wood, planting me again, waiting until I grow strong enough to connect with her once again.

Author's Note

I'm not really sure how to go about writing stories and such. I focus more on poetry, so any reviews would be greatly appreciated :)

Reviews

[Charles Anthony Almanza]

This is pretty amazing my friend. Love the woodland-nocturnal-creatures-turned-pagan-wiccan feel it gives off. It is short and it does feel as though it could use a little more plot (that may be more of my own personal neuroses, I don't have too strong an affinity for short stories) but overall, spectacular; it glitters like a gem around other short stories I've read.

Excellent work, I hope the quality of work you pump out continues.

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[NewWriterOldWorld]

As always, your knack for imagery is superb. With that being said, some of it comes off as a little too descriptive.

Sometimes, the simpler the better, especially in storytelling. I have decades to go before I'm a good storyteller but I've read that little piece of advice somewhere multiple times... just can't recall from where.

Anyways, overall, a nice piece.

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[Raven Moonchild]

I think I nearly went blind from your amazing description here, Ethan. This is amazing and breathtaking. Your ability to go into such depth and really pull the reader in is fantastic. :D I see such a bright future for you, my friend. :) (throws horns)

[Ethan]

haha I hope I can't be held liable for that but thank you

[Jacob Clifford]

You have a lot of great details which help paint the scene. But there are times when I feel you put too many details into a single sentence. If there's something you really want to describe in detail, don't be afraid to take a couple sentences to do so. Aside from that, this story is intriguing and has a good balance between narrative and vagueness.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Keep writing beautiful ly written

[Sofia]

Wow! Its really beautiful. I say this every time and yet again I'm saying, your choice of words is incredible. I loved it. Keep writing :)

[Angel]

Wow Shoes this is really great! It turned out better than I thought considering you didn't even know what to write, I do love your poems every much but I like reading your stories too. They are just as beautiful and amazingly worded. Nice job. Oh and I can't read that other poem you wanted to since it's the over 18 mark

[fadingtale]

I love the imagery and how much it flows! I think it's very poetic but it's beautiful! I don't know really what to suggest for you. These lines: "The forest is hungrier than before, and foreseeing the terrible event about to take place, I leap up and charge the solid, rotating wall of foliage to no avail. I hear the familiar whisper of her voice speaking sweetly as she did our first day together. “Do not be afraid. I am here, you are here. We will be one soon enough, my dear. Do not resist. The process is painful but the reward sweet as dew and honey.” Her soft words lull me to sleep and I fall on my back once again" are so powerful! Tell me how you were able to create such beauty and meaning in these words that you have here!

[Zephyr]

This is unique Ethan:)
You are great in making the readers stick to their chairs till the end:)
No suggestions from my part.
Great story;)

[Zoya]

Doesn't seem like that this isn't really your department. You do very well here. Although I found the story to be a bit vague, that doesn't take away the awesomeness from this piece. Again, the descriptions were amazing. Lovely write!

[Ethan]

Thank you :)

[Zoya]

My pleasure

[Holli]

This is very interesting! I love your ability to put me right in the scene. Great job!

[Ethan]

Thank you :P