Malvern Hills in June

This little cabin and your long nose make me feel at home

Among the crumbling beams, white but blue.

 

On this chair lies the greycoat, forgotten like the red before him,

Rolled and wrinkled by star-speckled plows, button thieves, grave diggers.

 

Is this civility, you ask?

Desecrating thoughts fall upon the field like white snowy bombs

As ants flee Lee with fear and terriers suck reddened banners clean.

 

Hands thrust from beneath bloody green carpets,

Wrapping their tendrils round passerby-ankles,

Dragging souls down to fiery heaven, sweetly delicious.

 

Mad, mad, mad they are.

Slice their skulls and take their thoughts.

Cleanse them in the Robert Lethe!

 

Thank you, Lynchburg.

Peace, peace; debt and peace.

The babies cry for peace, I tell you.

 

Their fathers gone,

The war un-won,

Until the sleeping devils come.

 

Author's Note

Reviews would be appreciated :)

Reviews

[Gaia Octavia]

First off, I really like this piece. It's very mature and is riddled with wonderful imagery (my favorite being the long nose). Secondly, I love abstract poetry as it gives the reader much more freedom to take a poet's words and internalize them. That is the magic of poetry; how it can mean so many different things to different people.
For me, I assumed these "Malvern Hills" refer to the hills where a battle took place during the civil war. The forgotten grey coat seemed to be a hint (confederate army), as well as the red one before it (British during revolutionary war). I really loved the line about civility (another hint perhaps) and the words you chose to describe the vileness of war. The bloody green carpet of the hills is another stunning image. And the rest of the poem is just as scathing. War indeed causes babies to cry for peace, lest they be orphans. Anywho, that is how I experienced this piece. Since you were working on abstract references and style, I figured I'd tell you my take. But I did have to pay attention and sit with it a bit before settling on the theme/meaning I took from it: the inevitable uselessness of war even after all the pain and damage it causes.

Well done!

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[barleygirl]

Your poetic style is sophisticated & polished & smooth. I love it! But I don't understand everything (I'm not good at reading into nuances) . . . but I believe you're describing the Civil War from the confederate point of view. I love the way you describe the imagery.

[Ethan]

Hey thank you! Yep you were spot on. Though, I wrote it more from the standpoint of a wife or detached observer on the confederate side.

[pia]

loved the poem and the abstract thought cleverly and beautifully portrayed here. The imagery was wonderful i loved it !!

[Ethan]

Thank you :)))

[Ausheirn:)]

It's good :D nice piece. I was reminded of it 'bout my father :)

[Ethan]

That's odd... this piece is about revisiting the civil war? I'm not sure why that would remind you of your father.

[Ausheirn:)]

Hahahahaha hahahahaha :D I maybe far out, but that was what I've felt about it :D

[Raven Moonchild]

This type of abstract puts one on the edge of their seat while reading, Ethan. :D Brilliant job, my friend.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It reads well and is definitely abstract. I think meaning is obscure but it gives the reader lee way to interpret it their way. Just Dandy I guess.

[Ethan]

Thank you John :)

[Maria]

This was somehow different yet still deep with meaning. Enjoyed reading this.

[Ethan]

Thank you very much

[rowan.taylorrr]

well done ethan, like always

[Ethan]

Thanks xoxo

[Mr.Writer]

I really enjoyed this Ethan! I like how you take us on an adventure of the Malvern Hills and make us super engaged in the imagery and descriptions you provided!
Well done, keep it up!

[Najam Us Saher]

I liked how you symbolised colours. The way you described such a peaceful place to be a war zone is very effective.
'Hand thrust from beneath bloody green carpets'Loved this line the most of all. Thank you for sharing.

[Ethan]

Thank you
.

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Mamta Sonowal]

Wow nothing bt jst wow... I hve no wrds to say... Soo, Well done I rlly liked it...

[Ethan]

Thanks :))

[Mamta Sonowal]

Ur welc'me...