Trepidation

The story of a skeleton

I am hanging loosely withing this glass closet,

With all bones and no flesh.

I am not just a skeleton but an embodiment of a catastrophic transformation.

I once had those provocative curves which you used to admire

But now my faded flesh receives sarcastic comments from liars

I once had those mesmerising blue eyes into which you used to look

It's just been reduced to some eerie hollows which are not even found in a book.

My rib cage was concealed within those gaudy,elegant gowns,wearing which i used to flaunt around

Today it's completely laid out bare to the eyes of onlookers who come and crack jokes around

The cascade of those dense,blonde hair which used to fall from my head have now been reduced

I no longer have scalp or anything rippling of any sort to introduce.

My brain helped me crack the toughest of all the equations

Today that mass has blown away somewhere via trepidation

My hands have no weight,nor my legs

for a drop of life,my inside screams and begs!

my lips,their pink,my cheeks,their rose

All has transformed into fungi,fern and moss.

I cannot make a change,but pray

Do not be scared of me upon looking my condition which is totally in disarray.

Author's Note

hope you will like it

Reviews

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

Beautiful use of imagery in a most meaningful and beautiful poem. I'm not really sure of the meaning however. On the surface, the imagery actually made me think of a skeleton hung in a laboratory for teaching students - teaching them not about the human body in this poem but about the soul, the essence of life and the futility of viewing only superficial elements like beauty. On an afterthought, I felt it was about the reality of life and death - we all die and we'll all become skeletons one day screaming for life. Whatever the meaning, the poem is intense and captivating. It is a mirror of life and realities. A complicated concept put beautifully into words with a charming and compelling simplicity. :)

The cascade of those dense,blonde hair which used to fall from my head have now been reduced
The line is beautiful but when you talk about hair you'd say my hair ''is''.......... and not my hair ''are''......... so it should be the cascade of ''that'' dense, blonde hair which used to fall from my head ''has'' now been reduced.

''Do not be scared of me upon looking my condition which is totally in disarray.''

This is a powerful line but ''upon looking my condition'' is grammatically incorrect. It could be ''upon seeing my condition'' or ''upon looking at my condition''.

''I am not just a skeleton but an embodiment of a catastrophic transformation.''
This is such a meaningful and striking line. I loved it.

''My rib cage was concealed within those gaudy,elegant gowns,wearing which i used to flaunt around''
This line is a classic example of the pride and vanity of humans and how death reduces it to ashes. It's awesome!

''my lips,their pink,my cheeks,their rose
All has transformed into fungi,fern and moss.''
This is scary. It shows how decomposition of the human body takes place after death. A great and powerful reminder.

On the whole, I really really loved the poem. It's a great piece of art. Keep up the good work! :)

[fattycbreezy52]

Oops.Your comment is just amazing.Yeah behind indulging in a complex task of making it rhyme perfectly,I did make some grammatical mistakes.I am very sorry for that.But i appreciate your criticism.It's harsh in no way.Infact,I got to learn a lot.I have realised the areas of mistake and can keep these in mind while trying to rhyme my any other poem in future.Thanks a lot.You have got a great power of evaluation.You are not just made to look at the surface reality or paraphrase.Keep reading and keep supporting

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

I'm glad my review helped you and thank you so much for the praise. :)You are a great writer and I'll try my best to keep supporting you. :)

[sunflowerpalette]

I read this one not just a poem but a story with how someone dies slowly. I don't know. It's kind of crazy when you read a poem and you try to dissect the meaning of those words. But yeah, I love the poem not just on how it sounds but the emotions behind it.

[fattycbreezy52]

Thankyou so much!I'm glad that you're the one with a capacity to evaluate and no just take words by their face-value.A great reader that you are

[fattycbreezy52]

not*just take words

[sunflowerpalette]

nah, whenever you're writing a poem, remember that you decide on how to write your poems and those criticisms about "how you should write a poem" is kinda lame. Dunno. Anyway, you produce your own art. You stream what you feel towards writing and criticizing someone on your art basically means that they don't understand you.

[fattycbreezy52]

Yes,I second you.Afterall, art should be unpremeditated,totally unrehearsed.You are the master of the art you produce.Thanks for such an encouragement on your part:)

[sunflowerpalette]

No problem :)

[Jamestown]

This wording is prolific, and imagery to mirror!
I am amazed at the unbelievable descriptions,
keep up the good work, thanks for sharing and
be blessed!

[fattycbreezy52]

thanks a lot for such kind words of appreciation whenever i pen down something

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
you got some crazy ammunition in you poet kit!!!
thoughtful.....profound.....
beautifully written.....

"I am not just a skeleton but an embodiment of a catastrophic transformation."

Bravo!!!!
i loved it!!!
:)

[fattycbreezy52]

thanks a lot.One of the most amazing comments i have recieved so far.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

well i did read some amazing poetry here........
you are welcome........!!!! :) :)