Kylie

“You don’t understand,” Kylie whispered, “My mom has the papers and everything. She is going to do it. She has told me so many times that she is going to send me away.” There was a pause, and then she continued with her voice more strained than it was before. “You don’t even know. She has threatened me about this for months now. And, I just…” she started crying again.

In my head all I could think about was how much she needed me and my hugs right now. So I leaned in and held her tight. I’ve known Kylie since I moved to this town and one thing I definitely know is that her family has problems. Not just the mother-daughter bickering problems, but constant screaming and fist fights between her mom, her dad, and herself. Everyday since the fifth grade, Kylie has come to me with something that is going wrong in her life. Recently her sister moved out and things have gotten even more hectic for her. Also, her brother Michael has started having random seizures and the doctors can’t figure out why. “I don’t know what I would do without him,” she said, “He’s my big brother and someone I can talk to.” Her father works a lot and her mom thinks she’s the boss of everyone and always wants her way. To tell you the truth, I can’t tell you how many times Kylie has come crying to me saying “my mother this” and “my mother that.” It makes me ill. I have definitely said a few nasty things about Kylie’s mother. It kills me to see my best friend so lonely in her life. Her ex-boyfriend, Rocky, recently broke up with her and she was devastated. On the day of their year and a half anniversary, she bawled in my arms for three hours. Now, she has a bunch of guy friends that are interested in her…for sex. She can’t move on from Rocky, so now she has been hooking up with these guys. It makes me so upset to see her giving herself away because she doesn’t know what else to do. Now her mother wants to send her to a foster home in Hartford. If anything that’s a really bad idea.

The bus finally pulled up to our stop and I grabbed her bag and crutches as we stood up. She hobbled off the bus and I was right behind her.

“Kylie, I’m coming over, okay? You need me more than anything,” I said limping along next to her.

            “But Lena, you’re grounded remember? If you come over you know you’re just gonna…”

            “Yeah, I know. But like I said, you need me more than anything right now. You’re my best friend. My mom can get over herself,” I said, laughing with the thought of my mother in my head. We walked to her house, went inside and plopped onto her couch. Her house is pretty decent for a family that doesn’t get along. I mean, she has a very clean and orderly house…that is until you get to her room. It‘s complete chaos up there. Anyways, we were sitting watching music videos on her television when she spoke up. Ever so quietly she said “I wish things were different, you know? I have always dreamed that the day she sends me away, it will be to college. Not to a foster home. Look.” She pulled an envelope off the side table and set it in my lap. I knew exactly what it was. I just dreaded opening it.

            “Kylie, don’t…I don’t want to know. Things are going to…” She cut me off with a harsh tone that startled me.

            “No! Things are not going to get better and you know it. So stop with the sweet talk and open the damn envelope. You know this is real. This isn’t one of your stupid fairy tales. It’s for real. Ok? Knock it off.” She could barely breathe she was crying and yelling so much. “You know what a foster home is like. Need I remind you of all the stories you’ve told me? Don’t play around with me Lena. This isn’t your world, it’s mine. So focus on me and what’s really going on, not what you want and how you want things to play out.” Her eyes bore down on me. I had never seen her like this before; especially not towards me. I didn’t know what to say to her. I just sat there looking at my hands and twiddling my thumbs. I knew if I looked at her she would be glaring at me. I didn’t want to open my big mouth again. I could feel my eyes watering and my thumbs began to blur. I sniffled and removed the envelope from my lap. I placed it gently on the coffee table next to me and stood up eyes still on the blurry floor.

            “I have to go now,” I said, voice shakier than ever. I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I was supposed to be the strong one in our friendship.

            “Just what I thought, you know it’s not going to get any better than this stupid life I have. Just admit it, you’re the last person on earth that can help me, never mind be my best friend.” Those last words were a slap in the face. I broke down right there. I ran out her front door, slamming it behind me. As I came to my house, I noticed my moms’ car not in the driveway. Good, I thought to myself, I don’t need her garbage right now. I unlocked my door, plopped my key on the dresser and collapsed on the couch. I closed my eyes and felt my hand being nudged by one of my cats. But I didn’t open my eyes, I just fell asleep right there; tears and all.