Day in the Life of Flame DM

I wrote this for a contest, tear it apart or praise it. Its all out for you to read.

I'm Flame DM, and I'm just like every other person in the world. No, I am not one of those fancy celebrities pretending to be like you saying they have oily skin and they use these skin products. Nor am I one of those people that walk in horrible lands showing you children needing your help and how they can survive if you give a dollar everyday. (Not dissing those people, I think their hearts in the right place, don't get me wrong!) I'm a kid that just became a legal adult, and that's just about it. DM? You want to know what that stands for? To show you how big of a nerd I am I will tell you

 

FLAME DRAGON MASTER!

 

Yes, I'm not lying. Some people thought it was Matt Damon and I was being clever, buuuuuuuuut hate to break it to you screaming fangirls, he's not the greatest actor around and I sure as hell wouldn't use his initials as my pen name. That just isn't right. I think I would rather put Adolf Shicklgoober instead. (For those who didn't know, I may have the spelling wrong, but Hitler's daddy changed his last name to Hilter instead of Shicklegoober. I thought I should add this to this piece just for all of you to do well in Jeopardy one day). Dragon Master you ask? Well, to be just blunt I was ten, eleven or twelve, not sure which, when I sat down and wanted to create a character. My sister had one about vampires and ghosts..and dare i say it penguins! I was jealous needless to say and I wanted a cool character, one that would kick a*s and bring my older sister to shame. So you guessed it! I came up with a girl who was master of all dragons and she had wings that sprang out of her back, her name was Flame because I loved fire. I was a little pyro as a kid. Found out you take some methane, wash your hands, dip it in the methane, you can light your hands on fire and not feel the pain at all. Amazing, isn't it? So the name stuck like glue and today I am writing a story on her. She's not as awsome and god like as I made her as a kid, but then I wouldn't have a good story would I?

 

My life is simple. I have seven sisters, six pets (Three dogs, two cats and a rabbit which I am allergic to), and we are catholic. We are, dare I say it, the average American family! I get up every morning like every teenager with parents screaming that I will be late for school and they will not drive me to school. No, I'm old enough to drive, but with a zoo for a family you find out that you never get a car to drive in. So after fifteen minutes of getting ready, I grab my bookbag and scramble off to the bus stop. The bus lady, I refuse to give her any other title, and I have controntations every morning. I'm late, she gets mad and her fat body does not match her small thin face. She tells me she wont wait for me next time, but I know and she knows that she will. So it's basically the same routine every morning. I get into school and go to homeroom...where some of my classmates come in drunk, high, and then there's the pregnant girl in the corner. (This year we have twelve girls pregnant at my school, juuuust wonderful in my opinion. Teach about life and what not) Not to mention the girl who wears the same sweatshirt every frikken day since freshman year.

 

But let's get past homeroom, shall we? After homeroom I have open campus. As a senior in highschool I have gained the privelege to have a period where I don't have to be in school. First period means I could show up tardy every day and no one could do a damn thing about it, well, except my parents or else I WOULD be tardy everyday instead of spending the period in the library passed out in their big green comfy chairs. Parents can't give me a ride so I have to be in school. No big deal, I've done it for twelve years so let's make it a big fat thirteen. The only problem I have is the librarians. Our library is so huge you can fit about four classes of kids in there and there is still enough room to do whatever you want. But, if a class books it the librarians stand out the door and tell you that you can't come in unless your open campus. Every morning I look at the same librarian and tell her that I do in fact have open campus and like the nerd I am I will spend it here...and every morning she forgets who I am and what I'm doing. I call this lazy hiring on the school department.

 

My friend wakes me up and then I'm off for Pre-calculous. Actually, I call this Stephen King class. As soon as I walk in, I pull out a Stephen King novel and read. I have a calculator and the homework on the desk and then i just ignore my math teacher. Sometimes I dont, and then I discover that e-harmony.com really does work and she loves bagels from bagelworld. Now if I did pay attention, I doubt I'd hear much about math, though maybe I would. My fellow math friend says I have selective hearing. I only tune into useless information. Maybe she's right, who knows. After math I walk down to Government class, spend all my coins on candy and talk to my history friend. We chat about drugs and how she does them constantly and how I'm catholic and the priests would condone me ever talking about such topics. She also finds it weird that 'Mother Teresa' (a nickname i will one day try to get rid of) defends the junkies in the world and how I talk about it with such ease. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks I carry Holy Water on me and if I hear a subject that isn't 'catholic' I would pull it and scream "CHRIST COMPELL YOU!" or something dorky like that. I think she has a lot of respect for me now, considering I'm not as crazy religious as she thought I was. My motto is simple. You may believe in one thing but doesn't mean everyone else does so don't be a pain in the a*s. You follow that and the world will be happy! Besides chatting away with my friend, I get in heated discussion with my democrat teacher. I was raised a republican...in a state of democrats sooo you can just spell FAILURE right there for me. Republicans also hate me because of my lax attitude and my motto. So I get along with neither. I like to see myself as a demipup(it would be demipub but i'd sound like i came from the bar) because an independant is just too common of a word for me.

 

Bell rings and I stroll down to band and chorus. I get hugged by girls all over, squeazing me and telling me how much they love me. I wouldn't mind if they were guys. Having the same gender hug you is cool and all, don't get me wrong, but when you don't swing that way it just makes you slightly depressed. I have a friend, tall and thin and he looks like a scarecrow and I am his big sex joke. He finds it fascinating that a girl can land soo many girls when she's not gay that he plays with it all the time with porn jokes. Because for him, he can play with both genders with a straight person! How is that funny? I don't know...maybe you should ask him. I usually am at my wits end when he goes on with the stick jokes. I play mallots, so his favorite line to me every day is "Why are you touching those sticks, Flame? Hitting them hard enough. Are those balls smooth enough for you? Like playing with balls? Flame's got balls everyone! Flame's got balls!" Oh I love my band friend...not really, but I know he's playing so I deal with him. After band I have my favorite subject in the world! English! You can tell, because I love to write. It's the only class that I am at college level so I feel proud of myself. I can out answer the valedictorian in this subject. he knows it and you should see his face when I do. Flame's not the smartest kid around, she's average. Yes, I know, have a higher self asteem, but I'm speaking the truth. To have an average Jane (or Joe as some of my friends tease) outshine the smartest kid in school, is pretty rare. And I bet it's a big ego slam for him every day. But I just say, tough it up, let me have my few moments in the sun.

 

Tired of Flame being in school? Too bad, I have two more classes. I strut out of english feeling like a genuine egghead and then land myself in anatomy. Anatomy with the craziest teacher in the world! I can't tell you her name, top secret information and I feel like none of you are worthy! (Nah, you're worthy I just like keeping things a secret cause i'm weird like that) I'll call her Jones. Jones is a teacher that uses art to teach you science. you make puppets, not those dorky paper ones but physical sew-me-now puppets about organs and bone tissue and deseases, put on plays to see if you know what the hell your talking about and my favorite Jones says as she says the bones and you have to guess where it is. She'll point wrong so I close my eyes and do it. Suggest not to do it if you ever have a Jones teacher...i lifted my knee to point at it and I accidently kneed a kids a*s....yeah, that's Flame for you. Journalism is my last class. I don't like it. I sit and pretend to do work and then I hear gossip. "she did that" "the football team sucks!" "Oh, I wouldn't take him to the dance even if you paid me!" there's only one boy in my class, and I wish there was more. Atleast then there would be some interesting gossip to be passed around. Listening to the same drama llama that girls talk about constantly just gives me a headache and I'm sure many people can agree with me there.

 

I catch the bus again. The bus driver doesn't believe I take the bus, we get into an argument. Apparently I run track and I should let the regulars get on first. I just give her a look saying I was on this morning and she was yelling at me to be here on time. Same fight every day. Maybe the busdriver and the librarians are related or I'm just the type of person you forget about every day. who knows? The bus is crowded, people have shoes with them because they are track. The bus ladylets the track people on and then yells at the regulars, I don't think she can tell the difference to be honest with you. I get home and I clean for my mother and then babysit. When I babysit I pull the laptop I named lappy on my lap and type away like a fiend. My sisters run and scream and noise fills the house. I'm cool with that because I cannot picture it any other way. I actually can't work in silence, teachers don't buy it, but its true. I then go to band practice at night. It's drumline, my porno friend isn't in it, thank god because I can only deal with him for a period, never two. I cross my legs as i stand, I found out its a dingtoed thing, so you get used to it, but my drumline instructor won't have it. I usually get sticks thrown at my legs and get to see his face turn a lovely shade of purple until I stand properly. I find this to make me special when I get to see this pleasure.

 

Other activites you ask? I am not just a band geek but a semi-religious nerd. As you've read, I'm not as stuck up as most Catholics, but it doesn't mean I'm not a good Catholic, maybe. I go to church, I altar serve, I go to the church drop in center in the priests' basement and I go to God camp! How much more religious can a girl get? I even teach CCD. I tell my students CCD stands for Catholics Can't Dance. I know it's not what it really stands for, but I find this statement to be true itself. I get in arguments with my priests. They don't like what I write. It upsets them. THey think I'm being unholy and rebelling against God. I have half a mind to tell them that look, I'm a teenager, its my job to rebel and besides, i'm not questioning my faith with fiction stories! It's called fiction for a reason! But whatevs, I can't fight with priests. They are already upset with me for what I do with my CCD class. I play Mums the Word with them, where you have everyone be silent and you toss an eraser around. Drop it your out. Say something your out. Bad throw your out. You get the picture. I tossed it once and it knocked the tupee right off the priest's head. He wasn't happy that everyone saw him bald. i wasn't happy either. We give money for the the church so they spend it on THAT!? I thought it went to the poor! They also bought a big flatscreen tv, its beautiful, but come on! They had two collections per mass for a year and they spend it on stuff like this?

 

I don't know if I bored you, but this is my life...or a glimpse of it. I really wrote this to be funny for a contest. You can see right now I probably won't win, but that's cool. Just hoped you liked seeing what Flame goes trhough, what I go through. Peace out homedawgs! This is Flame and I'm signing out!

 

(yeah...I get it...never again! Not like I've heard THAT ONE before, jeesh!)

Author's Note

Snaps and Craps for all to read

Reviews

[Rev. Fr, S. D. Blankens..]

Hello D. M.

This was very exiting. :D I like to read about people, and to learn everything I can: (it helps to be a better writer if you understand what they are going though, so you your self can feel what they feel if not more.) I like your story, but you spelled his name wrong :) (For the first 39 years of his life he bore his mother's surname, Schicklgruber. In 1876, he took the surname of his stepfather, Johann Georg Hitler.) I guess you just had to be there t know, anyways your story is very great, you told me that you wished you could write like me, well I only write what I feel, just as everyone else does. I don't think any-one's life is a "joke", however it is just the way I see it, everyone deserves to be alive, and everyone deserves a chance. Remember there are no bad people in this world, just Humans.
Well, thank you for posting, and your life is worth a lot, no matter what anyone tells you.

S. D. Blankenship as Wa-Ya

[Danny J.H.]

well that was very interesting

[Lee E. Powell]

LOL AWESOME! This story brings back some memories. Some of which I thought were long gone!

"Maybe the busdriver and the librarians are related or I'm just the type of person you forget about every day. who knows?" ... LOLI seriously doubt that you are someone who is easily forgotten!!

Snaps! I think, i forgot which is the good one lol!

[ATG]

This was a great story. I know more about you. I already knew a lot I think, but I still learned more about you. It was amusing. It made me smile.

[Wildecat]

FlameDm, I thought this was a cool story. Loved how you knocked the priests toupee off. and your defination of CCD Catholics can't dance. Nice job my friend.

[Let Me Write]

HAHA that made me laugh! Completely relatable.

[Kaitlin W. Blaylock]

LOL, nice. Every day, average, high school humor. love it.