Chapter 1

im not into prolouges sorry(:

     _Two Weeks Ago_

Why does the world hate me!? I am never going to find anyone that likes me for me, no one even likes me here!

I responded to my best friend, Kayla, who was trying to cheer me up. My phone vibrated in my pocket a minute later the text read,

Oh, don't say that! I promise you it's only a matter of time till the right one comes along! <3

Whatever, I am just bound to be a freaking loser loner for the rest of my life... goodnight love you<3

I quickly responded, because if I didn't she would call the police, think I commited suicide or something. Ten full minutes passed before my phone went off snapping me out of myself drifting off to sleep. I groaned and checked my phone fully knowing who it was from, I shaded my eyes from the bright light radiating from my phone.

Oh, abbie i am sooooo sorri, i absolutely love you goodnight. p.s sorri for late reply Kaleb dropped by to hang out... <3 night xoxo -k

I shed a tear and turned my phone off, sometimes she can be just so selfish, and clumsy.

 

*KAYLA! I practically yelled as I fell off the cliff, something had caught my attention on the way down, a mysterious smell. A mixture of a minty smell and axe spray, with a hint of lilac, I desperately looked around hoping to find someone or something. Instead I found a pair of purple eyes looking back at me and wicked smile under it.*

 

I woke up gasping, covered in sweat and goosebumps, I tried to shake off the dream but I have never had one like it before. I got up and tripped, falling face first into the ground, I sighed getting up. From there on I already knew this was going to be a horrible day to go back to the choatic place, we call school.

 

Author's Note

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TLOFOaywtk

review please i need critism, should i continue or not?

Reviews

[Ice Girl]

Very good! I loved it!

[:DI laugh too much:D]

this is a great chapter so far. I really liked how you described the dream and the adjectives you used for the odor.

great job =]

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

A good solid intro to the story...

Would be interesting where you go from here...

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I like this so far. It's really nicely written. I only found one spelling mistake. Micture should be mixture. I like your character. I would think she would know how Aubrey felt when I started my book. Thanks for sharing.

[desert fox]

love it

[TopHatGirl]

Okay, so before I even START reviewing, you have to believe me that when I criticize a person, it is nothing personal, and I am sure with some editing and revising, this could be very good.
Got it? Good!
Now.

Your character is very unlikeable.
I know! It hurts to hear! Characters are very tricky, tricky beings, but this one needs some work. If you're interested, I do have a course on creating characters, with a specific lesson on creating likeable characters! But if you're in a hurry, I'll just tell you right now.
She's whining. She thinks that her friend is selfish when it takes her only ten minutes to respond! She calls her best friend selfish and clumsy, when it's her who's being inconsiderate! She thinks the world hates her. Hell, she thinks the world revolves around her!
I know, I know. It hurts even worse now. But please please please, don't take it personally, and take this advice: Give her a good slap to the face! I'm serious. She's in a bad spot right now, but to give her actual flaws that aren't just moping and whining. You have no explanation for why she's being so horribly mopey, which gives the reader no choice but to hate her. I would highly recommend a quick look through my course, I promise it won't hurt!
Okay, we're good on the character thing.
On to the actual review of the writing.
If you want to be taken seriously in the writing world, you gotta stop using emoticons like :) or