The Pale-Skinned Girl

The Pale-Skinned Girl

A Poem by Zoya

Silence prevailed the school library,
It had never been so cold before,
The clock ticked in the background,
The room wasn't crowded anymore.

He looked up from his book to catch
The eyes of a beautiful young girl,
Who reminded him of the magical galaxies,
And the shells that yielded pearls.

She quickly looked away but
He stared at her for a bit,
There sure was something in her,
That made his heartbeat skip.

He'd come back every single day,
And not once were his hopes crushed,
For he always spotted her sitting,
Her skin pale yet cheeks flushed.

And soon the library turned into
His favourite place of all times,
He loved the smell of the unread pages,
That piled the shelves in lines.

One day he gathered some courage,
And walked in with a rose,
Only to find his Love missing,
From the chair she always chose.

He looked around here and there,
For the girl with skin pale,
When finally he saw her leaving,
The school premises with no trail.

He ran as fast as he could,
And followed her all the way,
To a house at the end of the street,
That seemed rather dull and grey.

He quickly rang the bell when,
An old man answered the door,
“I’m...I'm looking for the pale skinned girl”
In his softest of voices he implored.

The old man rather puzzled, replied:
“I'm afraid no girl lives here, but know
I once had a beautiful daughter who
In a school nearby, died ten years ago”

© 2018 Zoya


Author's Note

Zoya
Not exactly how I wanted it to be. Thought it's high time i wrote something, so...yeah!


My Review

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Featured Review

A very compelling ballad! Really grips at the heart and renders is heavy! I felt this....this made me feel! For the premise of the poem is very relatable to many around the world, and the unexpected ending is simply perfect. Way to change it up. You have a few lines that are musically wonky (Stanza 7 Line 2; and Stanza 10), but everything else is brilliant! Well done! Stanza 6 is my absolute favourite.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much, emi! Much appreciated :)
emipoemi

1 Year Ago

my pleasure.



Reviews

This is a great poem with good beginning, middle and end.
From the start, the mood and tone conveys love and infatuation, then the end stanza comes like an unexpected end, a twist with such sadness.

WELL DONE

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

7 Months Ago

Thank you for the appreciation! Means much :)
What a delicate and thought-provoking story! I guess this just proves that loved ones are always with us, even after they pass. I am also curious to know if the boy ends up with her after some time. I would assume he would end his life just to be with her in the spirit world. A nice twist at the end, and at least the girls father was generous enough to let the boy know about what happened to his daughter. Thanks again for this lovely read!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

9 Months Ago

Thank you very much, Svetlana! Glad you liked it :)
Now here's a great story. I like the ending very much. Poor boy! But.... Do they end up together? C'mon! Tell me they get together! I won't be satisfied until you tell me what happens haha! I like this a lot. Idk. What would you do when you fall in love with a ghost? You should write a step by step guide for that. Thanks for entering my contest!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

9 Months Ago

Of course they do! :)
Sarah_Allen

9 Months Ago

YAY!!! :D that makes me happy!
Zoya

9 Months Ago


...........:)
The final third fumbled a little, the ending could have been a little less cliche, but overall I think you did a good job at keeping things flowing and coherent.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thanks much for the review. I appreciate that.
Jordan

1 Year Ago

You're welcome
"Amazing" isn't enough... "awesome" should be added for this one of yours

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you for the very kind words, Farhan. Much appreciated.
Surprising.a ghost story.a lovely and charming tale with an unexpected twist

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you. I appreciate the comment!
Spooky. Basically I'm not a fan of this genre nonetheless, it's good :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you much! Appreciate the time :)
I enjoyed the tale in the poetry. I liked the old fashion story telling in the words. It was a haunting tale. I liked the thoughts leading to the sad ending. Thank you Zoe for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your time, Coyote! Much appreciated :)
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

A amazing story in the poem and you are welcome.
Such a sad end > I wish they fell deeply in love with each other

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

They probably already were :)
Thank you for the read!
A fine write, Zoe. A compelling narrative. Hardly a ballad though! Smh.....

The poem flows beautifully in near perfect rhyme with an imaginative tale that is a tribute to your imagination (even though I saw the twist coming). It is difficult to keep narrative poems flowing well in form, structure and prosity and with this piece you have succeeded in all these aspects.

Well done.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Zoya

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much, Doodley! Glad you liked it :)

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15 Reviews
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Added on April 22, 2018
Last Updated on May 10, 2018

Author

Zoya
Zoya

India



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