Then You Paused

I used to be your 'tiny dancer'...

Heat of your breath

              on my neck

the warmth of your body

  as we sleep

your arm caresses

           the small of my back

morning will dawn

           and so will dark truth

the look in your eyes

             will tell the story

you used to love me so

time stood still... 

til 'the end of time'

'time' expired

          sooner than expected

  called me 'tiny dancer'

and sang me love songs

         'When I say softly, slowly,

hold me closer, tiny dancer',

 

we go through the motions

                  as though we're still 'in love'

the weight has surrendered

            your kisses and warm embrace

      weakness on my part keeps me captivated

           even when I know you've stopped trying,

my silly notions have me convinced

        i can make you love me again

then you wake with conviction,

 you finally found your strength, 

                 yet your voice waivers

'i don't want to hurt you, but.....'

 then you paused

and time stood still 

Reviews

[Jamie Cook]

*~*~*~* as though we're still 'in love' *~*~*~*

That line I have no idea why put deserved its small frame.....that was my favorite line ^-^ but the whole poem deserved a shrine! *gives you trophy of yourself* Here, you deserve it the Freida Awards ^^ WOOHOOOOO! The poem was awesome the ending made me leedle leedle leedle in a good way, like in a crazy woot woot way ^^

[Frieda P]

Ha you crack me up Jamie, thanks so much for this grand review! ;-)

[Jamie Cook]

Aw welcome Frieda ^^

[A. V. Madison]

Fantastic song (I am a die-hard Elton John fan for life, despite I just turned twelve), but an even more exquisite piece. The emotion runs vivid, and it holds the reader to the very end. Which is a hard thing to do, in my case (keeping the reader reading), because I have a terrible habit of simply skimming through the work then reviewing; but you held my attention. Very emotional, and my dearest Frieda, you deserve far better, honey.

xoxo and well wishes,
~Mary Alice Victors

[Frieda P]

Mary Alice, there's not way you are twelve! I love your review, so glad you enjoyed it, that used to be a favorite song of mine too, you can see why it's no longer in my top ten. I'm not sure if I want to adopt you or kidnap you, you're a riot! Thanks so much. xo

[A. V. Madison]

Please, just call me Maddie. Mary Alice Victors is just a pen name. Thank YOU for sharing such a lovely piece.

[Frieda P]

Okay Maddie, just want you to know that I've fallen in love with you already, just listened to your video, you're amazing kiddo! Thank YOU for bringing the hugest smile to my face!

[A. V. Madison]

Well, you've made the mistake of sending me a friend request, so you can't get rid of me now ;-) ha!

[Frieda P]

I don't intend to...i need to see the rest of that profile! ;-)

[s y e]

This is really good! I swear when I read that, that exact song came to mind! Ha.
Nice write hun as always

[Frieda P]

Thanks Noodles, I used to love that song too!

[s y e]

Hehehehe, AWESOME!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yet another really fantastic portrayal of life's betrayals in short and eloquent verse.

[Frieda P]

I know you've lived here, thanks John, much appreciated.

[Lover Of Words]

Wow this is so good full of love yet full of sadness... Im speechless

[Frieda P]

Glad it was affecting Kelsey, thanks.

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure.

[Holly Mason]

love turns out this way many times...grass is greener...only to find out they use fertilizer with no purchase they just open their mouth and instantly brown to green*)
lovely write to read this morning you are so talented
thank you for sharing

[Frieda P]

I love the way you put that Holly, thanks.

[Michael G.]

Good write. Many times we choose to believe what we want to believe, not the reality of it. This isn't about a one night stand with a thanks and see you around type of morning. This one had investments of time and feelings. They just weren't equal to one another. Well done, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Mostly because reality sucks. Thanks Michael, you said a mouthful there.

[Jack...]

Wow, so sad yet so real. To feel this love for one who has lost the fire, so very sad.

I loved this, the pause was perfectly placed to send the full affect of your meaning. Once again Freida, I am amazed.

[Frieda P]

You always humble me with your words dear Jack.

[Claire Twinn]

Losing the fight for a love that was once so wonderful- you beautifully captured the sorrow here.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Claire.

[Jibey]

So sad.. and so vivid... Many must try to keep the flame of love alive to no avail... You express it so simply and beautifully... and poignantly

[Frieda P]

Sweet review, thanks Jibey.

[khalid]

it is really disappointing that sweet times are always passing so fast while boring times for ever last...
very nicely penned..inspite of the frustruction feelings in it..

[Frieda P]

You said a mouthful there khalid. Thanks so much.

[khalid]

always my pleasure