Crushing Reminder

'Sitting, smoking, feeling high',

  reminders of an old tune once a serenade 

 pensive, remote,  distant

     thinking where to store emotions

              that make no sense

driving myself crazy,

       crushing spirit with dark mulberry wine

moments of silence

         a reigning shrill blast of insanity

playing sad songs to stir the pot,

           sweetness turned bitter         'am I dreaming?'

                  broken records that skip a beat

                           strumming strands of sadness

not enough strength to stand or cry,

                   just breath enough to inhale

smoky scenarios lingering in my head

               that exhale dusky ink remains of a posy

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Your words make me think of the whole music biz, of how music is so fickle and fleeting, of how vulnerable musicians are, seldom knowing how they are doing .. and of how they trade in emotions. I am not sure I cld ever be like that because those emotions .. In a way songs are absolute nothings, yet they come to mean so much to us. Sometimes it is hard to live with them because they may upset us .. and even when we listen to them happily they remind us of our lost youth. Yet it is impossible to imagine life without them. You made me think and feel, not for the first time!

[Frieda P]

If it made you 'feel' that's more than I could ever hope for...thanks Orlando,much appreciate your thoughts here.

[PP]

smoky scenarios lingering in my head
that exhale dusky ink remains of a posy

Wow!! Frieda you've a way with your words lady..I am touched as always!

[Frieda P]

Awh thanks Tink!

[eglantine]

I'd add a comma after "dusty ink" in the last line. Reminds me of Sylvia Plath's villanelle "Mad Girls Love Song" I agree with Jack. Thanks for sharing

[Frieda P]

Wow eglantine, just reading Sylvia's name on my thread took my breath away, thanks so much!

[kublakhan27]

This one hit me pretty hard...I relate so well to this entire scene, a scene that I feel like I've lived out myself on countless nights...the most poignant thing I've read in a while...beautiful piece.

[Frieda P]

You've made my morning, no probably my entire week with this review my dear friend, thanks so much Steve. x

[kublakhan27]

You're most welcome my friend :) xo

[Ken Simm.]

Its amazing where a thought can take you. Into and beyond pain. And learning the lessons from that thought. A write to be gently proud of.

[Frieda P]

That means a lot to me Ken, thank you kind sir.

[David Scott]

Your words held true to the title Frieda. I could feel the crushing emotion.
I would like the poem to press me down as I read it. I felt myself stalling and starting as the lines progressed and I did not get the flow or direction from the pace of the lines like I have in other writes of yours.
Maybe this felt like interrupted sobbing.
Disconnected from itself.
Anyhow, that is my thoughts...

[Frieda P]

Actually David, I'm glad you picked up on that, it was my intention for it to be a bit frenetic, that's why the certain pauses, perhaps some sobbing too ;-)

[David Scott]

Mission accomplished then... ;)

[Pollai]

Read the first line and got excited -love me some DMB (going to a concert next week)- and this piece did justice. The imagery is great, its dark but deep. Great write.

[Frieda P]

Color me green with envy!! Thanks so much for your review & enjoy.

[Coyote Poetry]

"'Sitting, smoking, feeling high',
reminders of an old tune once a serenade "
Old thoughts and places are part of us. We look back and wonder how we are still alive today? Good music and a nice journey in your words. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Exactly the feel John, thanks muchly for your insightful review.

[Peter H]

a melancholy, nostalgic piece i find it very intriguing okay write :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your visit and review, much appreciated. :-)

[redflutterby]

Music is such a significant part of my life. Memories tied up in words and tune. In recent years I've found that songs which I once took solace in actually trigger doubt and regret in my mind. They leave me sad and confused by what was and what now is. Not sure why...

This is one of your best pieces. Of course I have so many favorites its hard to put one above another. xo

[Frieda P]

Woo Red, you just made my day better! Thanks so much my dear friend. x