~ Trace Antiquity

aimless wanderers looking for

            the sound of thunder

    metallic machinery in tow,

          baggage of decayed swatches

seeking answers

           to ancient history's secrets

       zeppelin's wail as background 

                    incessant blares

        only to be forgotten by and by

              in wastelands's echo

chants of achromatic cerebral

                      mystic channels

          passing random moonbeams

                      taunting implosion

toppling 

         disconcerted,

                    darting 

                            to

                              earth

                                    in

                                      cobalt

                                             bolts

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

It sounds like you are describing humanity's past and its history of antiquity with its thunder or decay times where mythical creatures wail in the background and all the efforts are wasted in the wastelands...
A very different from all your writes but I like it a lot...Well done...:)

[Frieda P]

Ha don't want to become predictable my friend, I really love this intriguing review, thanks so much Sami.... :-)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...........:)

[Frieda P]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahahaha........................:)

[Leslie Philibert]

Impresseive the use of the lower case, the enjambement of the last phrase ( or the whole poem), lots to like here, the use of multiple adjectives, the vocabulary...well done.

[Onku Ghosh]

Well executed poem!! your description of lightning "Toppling disconcerted, darting to earth in cobalt bolts" is superb.Great work,Freida.

[Baby Ricochet]

Towing broken machines and zeppelins. Cool

[Astro]

That electric last line is something beautiful all its own Frieda. The subject matter is something that I have been fascinated with for a longtime so, even in your oft cryptic meanderings of thought that come my way I think this one rumbled and struck me in all the right places.

[Frieda P]

Ha that's me a labyrinth in my head, glad you enjoyed my musing, perhaps you can explain them to moi. ;-)

[Astro]

Only in a subjective understanding that is the vortex spinning about inside my head, quite possibly far from the freshly painted walls of your own. Justice would be hard to serve.

[DrD]

Something sublimely primitive here forcing a second read. Marvelous imagry and hints of a collective memory or perhaps even intuition. Great work.

[Frieda P]

What's sublime is seeing you on my page again, are you back home now Doc? & thanks....

[DrD]

Not yet. Just some free time. They say I might wind things up and be home by August.

[Frieda P]

You must be home sick by now, thanks for stopping by, I've missed you.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

The ancient times...our distant past
Which made us where we are at last
People search, people ask
What has happened in a blast?
Is it the war, the game of tough
Death remains as forgotten fact
The rational just passed as shaft
Falling-in just as to mock
Fall over, dash, collapse
Feel the earth in present shot!

[Frieda P]

Wow, you need to publish that review! Thanks so much....HMM

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome, Frieda. :)

[Frieda P]

Was my pleasure reading your review :-)

[InsanityWriter]

Beautifully done. :) It flows perfectly.

[Frieda P]

Grazie Skittles, glad you enjoyed it :-)

[kublakhan27]

Woke last night to the sound of thunder...ain't it funny how the night moves...

Looking for sound is not the most productive way of making use of one's senses...but unless the Hindenburg is hanging over my head, the wail of a Zeppelin is irresistible ;) You probably won't buy this, but I don't believe the abstract is a title designated solely for me anymore...your message is loud and clear, but the way it's been delivered here is hardly linear...and you know my writing well enough - never mind me in general - to know that I'm complimenting you ;)

[Frieda P]

Laughing here, what are you really trying to say Benji, even your reviews are abstract ;-)

[kublakhan27]

LOL I'm saying I really like the poem...and Zeppelins ;)

[Frieda P]

hahaha I got that part! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

LOL I thought you would ;)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Gosh this reads like storm chasers. A weird breed indeed. So a metaphor for chasing relationships that are tumultuous perhaps. Certainly another cleverly constructed piece.

[Frieda P]

Storm chasers, I've seen them on TV, crazy bunch, thanks John, like your take on this.

[Foxemerald]

This poem has an enchantingly innate sense of style, and refined music. I think that it is safe to say that you have used this poem to develop time in the most fluid and engaging manner. You have a penchant for color, and a rhthmic understanding of which you should be proud. The lyrics of the poem carry the reader with depth, mystery, and darkness. It is a feeling that you snatch, which is then taken away, but the imagery is the main beauty in it, and the words are stunning, silvery, and even electric . . .

[Frieda P]

I think I might quite honestly like your review better than this piece, thank you kindly Foxemerald.

[Foxemerald]

I suppose I inadvertently defeated the purpose of the message of your piece, then. You are quite welcome, but please do not forget why it was originally written! ;)

[Frieda P]

No, not at all, I love your insight into poetry, muchly appreciated ;-)