~ Trace Antiquity

aimless wanderers looking for

            the sound of thunder

    metallic machinery in tow,

          baggage of decayed swatches

seeking answers

           to ancient history's secrets

       zeppelin's wail as background 

                    incessant blares

        only to be forgotten by and by

              in wastelands's echo

chants of achromatic cerebral

                      mystic channels

          passing random moonbeams

                      taunting implosion

toppling 

         disconcerted,

                    darting 

                            to

                              earth

                                    in

                                      cobalt

                                             bolts

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

It sounds like you are describing humanity's past and its history of antiquity with its thunder or decay times where mythical creatures wail in the background and all the efforts are wasted in the wastelands...
A very different from all your writes but I like it a lot...Well done...:)

[Frieda P]

Ha don't want to become predictable my friend, I really love this intriguing review, thanks so much Sami.... :-)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...........:)

[Frieda P]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahahaha........................:)

[annie lee]

I have read through this four times and each time I am struck by a new dynamic image. The colors, sounds, shapes and dances of these words is a roller coaster ride each time. I confess to an inability to pin it down to one metaphor, and I happen to think that makes a great poem. I am cranking one out now inspired by my husband's reaction to poetry: "what does it MEAN?" It means whatever it means to the reader at the moment he reads it; and if the next reader derives something else, that's great. My best feel for this piece is the earth and its history, thundering towards events and cataclysms, tragedy and joy with glacial and inexorable certainty.
I do love the vibrancy and grace of the last construction:
toppling
disconcerted,
darting
to
earth
in
cobalt
bolts

I think this is a great exercise in the mystery of metaphors and the beauty that can be embedded in those mysteries.

[Frieda P]

Wow, 2minichinz, I'm always elated by your reviews, you really dig deep into the essence of poetry, thanks so much, jazzed you enjoyed it, ha apparently hubby isn't a poet. :-)

[annie lee]

Thanks for the thanks. Poetry is my first love. I feel a little tentative about reviewing; I do not want to upset anyone, but I do like to dig into it, whether I get their particular meaning or not.

[Frieda P]

I think we all get something different from poetry, depending on our own circumstances, I have no problem with it, rip it apart, I'm fine with that....

[Mark]

I see a war in the air. Nighttime combat. But who would want to shoot down 'aimless wanderers' 'seeking answers to ancient history's secrets'.

But then maybe it's more mundane than that. Maybe it's just noise and moonbeams! Thought provoking work. :)

[Frieda P]

As if that never happens to you, ha...thanks Mark! :-)

[Mark]

being shot down? lot's of times. :P zthanks so much for reminding me.

[Frieda P]

Anything for a pal ;-)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I think I may be an aimless wanderer! great piece hun x

[Frieda P]

I had no doubts Thomas! Grazie mille x

[Archangel Gabriel]

A rather deep and dark piece with a tinge of disconcerted disappointment.

[Frieda P]

Glad you enjoyed it Gabriel, thanks so much.

[DCT ponderings]

When I read this I thought of an exodus. It read to me like the history of people driven from their homes, fleeing under siege, trying to hold onto the decaying swatches, patchworks of their lives. The sound of thunder and cobalt bolts felt like a story as old as time tracing antiquity back to the wrath of the God's.

[Frieda P]

I'd agree on that one, blue cobalt bolts does sound like the wrath of God, thanks for your insightful review DCT.

[TL Boehm]

It brings the image of the Hindenburg to me - and it makes me think of a post apocalyptic world - lightning in a sky that never reveals sunlight...
Well penned.

[Frieda P]

Interesting review, thanks TL.

[Dana Alsamsam]

cobalt bolts. i've read this twice and cannot stop thinking about that image...i love the romantical science fiction-y feel you have going here. "metallic...zeppelin...mystic...moonbeams...implosion" all are delectable image that paint a silvery blue mystical setting at night time in my mind. lovely work!

[Frieda P]

Jazzed you enjoyed this one Dana, it was actually a puzzle to me when I first starting writing it, thanks.

[Jack...]

I suppose one needs to watch out for those Cobalt Bolts. Very deep my friend, seems like a war zone to me with very few survivors. Very nicely done.

[Frieda P]

It was actually part a dream and part reality, they met in the middle somewhere, I had no clue where this one was going, I just went with it....thanks my dear friend.

[Vikrantsingh]

Amazing work dear loved it. You make me freeze every time I read your work. This one is again masterpiece. Loved it :)

Nice Share :)
Singh :)

[Frieda P]

Dear Singh, your reviews always make my poetic heart smile, thanks so much my friend. :-)

[Vikrantsingh]

You're welcome dear :) Keep smiling ;)

[Ken Simm.]

This is a Symbolist painting.

[Frieda P]

Thank you kind sir, more like color by numbers, I'm sure you could actually paint it beautifully though with your amazing talents Ken.

[Ken Simm.]

Pish and tush, Frieda. Pish and Tush.

[Frieda P]

Smiling here, that rolls off the tongue and I've a general idea of what it means ;-)