Epodic Fray

'Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues'

 Our conflicting ink brand'd

                our ballad lullaby

     i held your soul up to the sun, 

            threw wildflowers at your feet

  comparing all my poetry in your eyes

   

 there was no rhythm or rhyme

                  to the poesy'd verse

  we strive'd to reach a utopia 

              of selfish similes

   instead achieved cutting

           each other to the proems,

   bleeding into your story

           you sneer'd at my words

   whilst  subliminally assaulting 

                  my precious analogies,

        metaphorically speaking 

                  we were worlds apart

  left with shattered participles

             dangling in the overtures

    ~taking the high road

traveled lest known to stray,

                consorting within a softer sonnet

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Two entirely contradicting people who reign from separate worlds conjoined in a relationship trying to connect the dots by thriving in ignorance and the refusal to really analyze each other; by never touching any at all (might I say, brilliant and awesome, in the archaic definition). But the opposing party made the grave mistake of trespassing unto your territory, and critiquing your insecurities when you were not nearly close enough to being comfortable with the other party: leading into a string of arguments that ultimately led to the duo to conclude that they were never meant to be . . . Well done, this played out nicely.

[Frieda P]

Freaky Tai, sometimes I think you can see into my mind, thanks so much my friend.

[Shaquana Adams]

bleeding into your story
you sneer'd at my words
whilst subliminally assaulting
my precious analogies

These are my favorite lines. Enjoyed the word usage and imagery. Nice job! :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Shaquana, so glad you enjoyed this one! :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

"we strive'd to reach a utopia
of selfish similes
instead achieved cutting
each other to the proems,"
I enjoyed the poem. A change of pace for you. I like the honest and direct feel of the words. I like the above lines. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks Coyote, means a lot coming from you....

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is another magnificent poem from you. :] I love it.

[Frieda P]

Thanks again Brittany, so jazz'd you did :-)

[redzone]

sounds to me that you paid a very high price to sing the blues Frieda... yes, we enter into relationships with hopes and dreams and sometimes the similies match and metaphors abound and poetry flows for a long time.but too situations change and how we deal with them sometimes causes us to fall apart..and too, sometimes it was hopes and dreams that never could become real.. by the way one of my favorite blues songs is B.B. King's "The Thrill Is Gone"... I couldn't hear the song you embedded in your poem.

I think it is very special when the poetry flows within love.. smile number 2 because of your poem Frieda
~~redzone

[Frieda P]

Doesn't everyone curt? Oh why didn't I think of that song? Good one my friend, perfecto. Yay, for smile two, can we make it three? ;-)

[redzone]

;0) and. ;-p

[Frieda P]

Go read Woke up this morning, it'll make you smile paisano. ;-)

[redzone]

One of your poems?

[Frieda P]

Yes, just for a larf ;-)

[redzone]

Ok but must go eat something first ..

[Frieda P]

No rush, figured you get a kick out of after all that Italiano talk....

[redzone]

nah, Frieda Italiano talk would always be welcomed..

[Baby Ricochet]

Two poets in a fencing match with bic pens.

[Frieda P]

LOL

[Jack...]

We enter into relationships most times based on our own vision of what the other might be. We paint pictures in our minds of that perfect scenario...feeding our desires with dreamer visions and anticipated outcomes. However that is only one half of the story. When it comes about that the visions of the other differ...that is when it is possible for trouble to start unless one or the other or preferably both are so attracted to the other that concessions are made so that both are satisfied.

Frieda this is wonderful...another brilliant piece from your magical pen. You bring truth in a vast array of words thar are so you.

[Frieda P]

Those painted pictures never quite fit reality do they, why does it have to be so complicated...thanks Jack, one of these days I'll figure it out, hopefully....

[Scott Metro]

left with shattered participles
dangling in the overtures...... a true poets speech...
Very well done Frieda...a shining expulsion from the land of muses..

Scott

[Frieda P]

Awh you say the nicest things wolfie ;-) Grazie mille...

[Scott Metro]

:)
Scott.....

[Mark]

This is one of your best IMO. Sharp, clear, and beautifully made. :)

[Frieda P]

Really, and I thought this one was more abstract than most of the others, I'm thrilled, coming from you that's huge! ;-)

[Mark]

it is abstract... but it's presented in clear language, unadorned (well for you anyway) and has sharp imagery.

[Frieda P]

You know it don't come easy, it don't come easy. ;-)

[Mark]

So true. It starts with talent, but to be truly great takes effort. :) (one of my favorite songs btw)

[Frieda P]

Geez I finally did something right ;-)

[songstress]

My, this a new sort of prose that I've read of you Frieda. Startling, combative and phenomenally beautiful.The lines I found most attractive in your work are, "threw wildflowers at your feet, we strive'd to reach a utopia of selfish similes instead achieved cutting, and we were worlds apart left with shattered participials." these lines indicate your master of moving the reader through your piece. of transitioning into the next stage." what I thought to be a flower child/maiden became a sad winding spiral of selfishness and facades. those smiles could not it seems protect you from war and strife. You were all along separate entities. Not friends, not strangers just simply different. I'm sorry if I read into it incorrectly. But, this tale was spun beautifully well. Frieda I'm truly envious of your skills as a writer.

[Frieda P]

You've left me speechless with your response songstress. You've got the gist of it alright, I was pondering past relationships and the winding paths they take, often times parallel & adjacent yet never moving in the same direction or precieving the same view . And as I relate poetry and music to most everything in life and love, it took on a life of poetic injustices. If that makes any sense at all. Thanks so much for you glowing and insightful review.

[kublakhan27]

I'm not sure how to approach this one Mrs.R, except to say that I hope it is nothing autobiographical. You're collaborative skills are uncanny...you just have a feel for the mood of any given piece, not to mood of the collaborator, and you always seem to have to words to compliment it. This sounds like a collaboration gone bad, but hopefully I'm just reading too much into it in my ultra-sensitive state these days. I'm having a hard time seeing the positive in many things. In any event, this is a powerful piece that exposes the rigours of two human beings trying to meet each other halfway...xo

[Frieda P]

I was trying to relate it to the poetry in relationships, not poetic collaborations per se, although there is definitely a give and take in each instance, just one is more dire and committed. It's not easy to decipher the music of couples and what tones and notes they'll play out...thanks again Benji, as always, you get me. ;-) xo

[kublakhan27]

Ah I see Mrs.R...that is a topic that is never far from my mind...it's really a miracle that I haven't produced a piece on the theme yet, and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep it in. Everything you write enlightens me...this one enlightened me on the difficulties we often face as human beings in making connections with each other. It can always be done, but never without compromise...great work love :) xo

[Frieda P]

You probaby have, it's just so abstract you don't even realize it ha ;-) MWAH! xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha Well if anyone would pick up on it, it would be you Mrs.R...MWAH :) xo