Rain

Rain

A Poem by Frances Smart
"

On being broken-hearted

"

Rain

 

Some people say that time is a river

But for me, time stopped in a Puerto Rican rainstorm

On a hot August day many years ago

When you captured my heart

And then cast it aside

Like a broken seashell on the beach

Even now, my memory goes back to that day

To the way I felt when I realized

You would not be back

And I am broken all over again

My passion is poured out,

Like water on the sand

And there is no tide

To wash away the pain

I can forgive the pain you caused me

But I cannot erase the memory

Of the Puerto Rican rain

Upon my hands, my head, my heart

© 2008 Frances Smart


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Featured Review

Beautiful prose filled with emotion, you have captured the broken heart syndrome extremely well. The flow of this is magical and reads so easily sitting in the mind of your reader comfortably. I like your style, I can also identify with your feelings...kudos for this, I loved it.
Cheers,
Helen:-)))

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I really liked this peice. It's funny that bad things happen when it rains. All the old films have pouring rain scenes in which love is lost and hearts get broken. Im sad that this is youe experience as well. It would appear from your peice that your heart has been won and lost in the rain. The Puerto Rican rain. I like your sea references Seashell on the beach. Many seashell are beautiful things that people don't see untill the sun hits them. The realisation that he wouldn't be back cut deeply and broke your seashell heart Like the way described your passion being poured out like a water and thier was no tide to wash the pain away.And I love the ending where you say that your are able to forgive the pain but however many washes you have you can't erase the rain from your hands and heart . Strong and honest I hope you find some sun soon great write .

Posted 13 Years Ago


I love how you stopped time, and really captured a moment. The title is a good counterpoint; rain is movement, but that day is a photograph of sorts. Nothing happens, or has to happen; your feelings about that day and the events thereafter come rushing out, reminiscient of looking at an old photograph. Very nice work.

Posted 14 Years Ago


so very lovely.. i love the metaphors , ' no tide to wash away the pain..very nice , beautiful
peace
Chloe

Posted 14 Years Ago


Heartfelt. "A broken seashell on the beach." - Nice usage.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a poem with a message inside of a message. I like the symbolism.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent, this is so true, we can forgive and we should, it is the only way we can move on with our lives, but we can't forget the piercing heartache we experience. You write with great expression of emotion. Thanks for pointing this in my direction.
Tony

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sad but lovely poem, good flow and imagery, Loved the lines "My passion is poured out like, Like water on the sand And there is no tide to wash away the pain". An emotional write and great read. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is fantastic. It has great emotional appeal...one of the most important things to have in a writing. Great job.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is lovely. it is so real, like.. i do not know how to explain it. it seems very from the heart the flow is awesome and makes me feel broken hearted. i loved it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful prose filled with emotion, you have captured the broken heart syndrome extremely well. The flow of this is magical and reads so easily sitting in the mind of your reader comfortably. I like your style, I can also identify with your feelings...kudos for this, I loved it.
Cheers,
Helen:-)))

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 16, 2008

Author

Frances Smart
Frances Smart

Charlotte, NC



About
I'm divorced, 46, a ten-year military veteran with two college degrees, one in English education and one in theology. I am the non-custodial parent of two delightful children, and girl and a boy, ages.. more..

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