It was a dark and stormy night. An everyman pandered to a stadium crowd, handing out free dangling modifiers, logical fallacies, and timeworn clichés as door prizes to the first one-hundred, two-hundred, and five-hundred comers, respectively. “I, the gun-wielding denizen of your State in shining chinos, do hereby proclaim myself your rescuer from the ones who would threaten your comfort”, thundered he.
“You have seen me come to your aid when those who speak in tongues infiltrated your livelihoods”.
“I bore protesting witness to the redistribution of your copper to the undeserving”.
“We broke the ranks of the ones who counseled equality for the filthy in the eyes of God”.
“With your blessing have we ordained a pre-emptive strike against those who would hand your children’s futures to the beasts of the field”
“For in truth, it is self-evident, that all men are created equal, but some men become more equal than others”
With this last pronunciation he did fall upon a woman in attendance with ferocious abandon, a shameless act of exquisite cunnilingus and forced fellatio. This was solely performed as a distraction for the crowd, and it worked splendidly. She writhed with hapless determination to free herself from the delightfully disgusting spectacle she now finds herself in.
Elsewhere upon nigh, as nighthawks chased the wind with the news, an inspiration was choked silently in the Sea of Weeds of Mediocrity, and the masses cheered the destruction. The League of Good Enough joined ranks that night with the Order of the Uninformed, and a joint venture between the two was sponsored by the Society for the Protection of Complacency. Thus was declared war upon compassion. Badgers turned restlessly in their sleep as frogs croaked of impending doom.
The tempest howled ferociously as the good man asked the stadium full of self-identified free-thinkers to drink their Kool-Aid whilst chanting, “We shall overcome”. Threats to security were then more easily identified and singled out for public humiliation, torture, and incarceration; a most wise investment in the State’s future. Gold exchanged hands in whispered abbeys and the good everyman used it secretly as an investment in secession.
The crowd cheered. Equality had been served. They would finally learn Their lesson, after all. But who would teach them? Ah, that, my friends, is the great mystery. Stay tuned for more. The slaughter of the guilty was about to begin.