Our Bravest Face

From a prompt of the picture up there. The picture is called Morning by Clarence White - 1906.

We saw the glade, we strolled the hollow, at five o’clock I brushed your hair

You sent shivers up my spine and talked of the milk white skin of my thigh

And we laughed about the Mister and seriousness of political love and polemic lust

And how difficult it is to listen to the worlds conventions and not lose hope

 

Companion loved, companion lost

You were rolled in oats and honey 

And I whinnied and pranced about

The connection the slimmest and strongest filament 

Umbilical nourishment and telepathic rapture

You left me without a shore

 

We ate the berries, we bathed in lavender, at five o’clock you brushed my hair

You told me you were moving on, we cried pools of memories into your lap

And we laughed about the Mister and the seriousness or mortal thought and heavens trap 

And how difficult the night would be without the crickets

 

Companion loved, companion lost

I was awkward, lithe and funny

And you laughed and rolled about

The connection being severed by a razors edge

What will I do without my sunshine

I left you without a moor

Author's Note

Happy Sunday!!! Almost time for Karaoke!!!

Reviews

[Neville]

This must surely be one of the most beautiful of your literary creations I have ever had the pleasure of stumbling upon.. Not that I stumbled coz I did set out to find ya latest... but that was yesterday.. now gotta go check out ya newbies.... N

[kentuck14]

Loved this lyric, Crowley. I sense a relationship without strong connection . . . at least where it mattered the most. The conversations between this couple remain thin as gossamer . . . good intellectual conversation, but nothing is revealed about each other as a person. It's almost as if these two are attracted to each other's mind, and of course, the flesh (brushing of hair, white thighs, eating berries and bathing in lavender.) But the true glue of a lasting relationship is missing. To me, the "Mister" is a symbol for a non-emotional object to dance around, a non-committal play-acting. Again, I like your long lines as they seem to match the style and form of this piece. It's a wonderful vignette you've painted here . . . one of your best. Congratulations.
T.

[Crowley]

You are as close as any one has been. The photo was a prompt at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, I wrote about a relationship between women back in the day when the men were oft travelling or whatever these women often became good friends and then would be displaced when one moved on. Of course the Mister being the man. I truly believe that there were much closer relationships between these women then there ever was between most women and their husbands. Thanks for the review...much appreciated.

[kentuck14]

Crowl, You maybe very right on that. did appreciate this poem.
Tom

[emmajoy]

'We ate the berries, we bathed in lavender, at five o’clock you brushed my hair - You told me you were moving on, we cried.. .. .. '

Seems you can transfer so much of this and that when you write, tis as if you can change directions, garb and emotion with ease - or you certainly appear to.. writing like the above isn't simple as slipping in a puddle, ever. This poem is remarkably charged, emotional and physical, rearing and roaring yet with a calm contentment of what was, is and might be... One of your best, if i'm allowed to say so, Crowley, sir.

[Crowley]

Thanks Emma!!! I always feel like I'm slipping in a puddle...lol. Some times when I come up, I'm just cleaner than at other times.

[angel]

A cheerful note after a story of heartbreak...good man, Crowley! Don't let it get to you. Sing and smile, you magnificent, creamy-thighed b*****d!!

[lightsong]

endearing, tender, so tender. a Love that will always be, but it can't be, how difficult is to keep it, and not to lose faith, how brave is the face that keeps a smile while the heart is crying. some really beautiful phrases here, the repetitions made it a more like a song to my ears, gave it more strength and tenderness. wonderful write my friend.

[Chris Shaw]

Wow, this shows an intensity of emotions which really get through to the reader. That tenderness of brushing hair, shivers up your spine to your final three lines where that razor cuts deep and your sunshine has gone. Beautiful poetry Crowley.

Chris

[Crowley]

Thanks Christine!!!! I really like this one, turned out better than I thought it would when I started it.

[Chris Shaw]

It's a keeper, fo sure :))

[Chris Shaw]

Just as good second time round. Love this poem Crowley.

[barleygirl]

This is a beautifully lyrical poem. I love the old-timey photo & your writing style is in perfect harmony with that smudged browntone. I'm not crazy about the way you used "fucked" -- it feels like a jolt OUT OF your sweetly flowing & mesmerizing imagery. But I also realize you are digging deep during these uninhibited refrains (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Crowley]

Yeah, so you are the second person, Chris gave me a go no go because of that as well. When I wrote it I was trying to make a break in the sepia toned part of it and bring a bit of reality to the table. When I first posted it on my blog, one of my good friends that I met long ago at the café told me those were her favorite lines, then I had a long discussion with Chris and before I changed it, I was waiting for another review that spoke to it and here it is. It really isn't necessary so I removed them. Thanks for the review and the good advice Margie!!!!

[barleygirl]

I really love the change *smile*

[Crowley]

Did you get that this was companionship between women? I tried to get at how in times past when thee wasn't a whole lot to do and the men were gone for long periods thee were some fantastic relationships forged between women. Just wondering, doesn't matter much. I do like how this one turned out.

[barleygirl]

I'd read your reply to a review before I first read your poem, so I was already aware of the gender aspect of this poem. I just now re-read & I can easily catch that this is two women, but it doesn't seem like there are any lesbian nuances, just women being affectionate & cuddly like women often are with each other. Not like men buddies who pound on each other's backs as a form of affection *wink! wink!*

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I am glad that this is the first piece I read of you...it tells me of your intensity, of your grief, of your love....How passionate it is to have so much and end with all we need...empty hands.

[Crowley]

Thanks luv!!!! This was a prompt for another site, and I pictured it as a relationship between two women back in the day when that is all you had to keep you company as the menfolk were out doing their bullshit. thanks for the awesome review, I really appreciate it!!!

[sette]

there is the twist at the end which makes the poem an awesome one

[Chris]

The Author owns the word choices and placement, but it's the reader that turns the pages. I've sat here a good fifteen minutes... internally debating my own bias... we both lost. To me this is a sadly great would-have-been. Good word flow, substance, patterns, tones... and they accentuated the pic's challenge of creation - but the F-shocks served nothing but perhaps your intent. If their presence was meant to imbue a taste of a deeper-anger over the sense of personal losses - for me it failed... they merely took away my desire to "listen" to the next - for now.

[Crowley]

Well thanks for the review. Its strange, I posted this on two sites at the same time, the first review actually said those were the favorite lines for this reason and that, but you actually hated them and I can definitely see why. The fact that you had to debate it for fifteen minutes actually makes me think it may have been more effective than not. But in the end it didn't work for you which is understandable. Thanks again for the great review, Its the kind that makes us think before we apply that next word.

[Chris]

I didn't "dislike" the lines - just the (to me) needless inclusion of the particular word where you put it - twice. There is a shock value - now lost in it over-commonality of use. Where it really needs to be - AND serves an unmistakable purpose - it's fine ...where was it REALLY needed here and what purpose served?

[Chris]

And the two lines helped direct your intent... but not everybody needs an HBO or SHOWTIME script to appreciate an adult view... CBS, ABC, even FOX understands .

[Crowley]

When I was writing it, I actually did not use that word, but I searched for another that might fit better in the over romanticized and just so period that I felt the writing belonged to because of the prompt picture. I think we tend not to use real words that present our frustration and anger moreover to satisfy the reader whereas those words have always been fairly and definitely in private, common place depending on the context. In short I guess, the other words I tried didn't show the magnitude of the desperation to me. But yes, I could have done without them and maybe the piece would have been better for it. I will think on that and perhaps make changes.

[Chris]

Changing is ALWAYS the purview of the Author... But, I sensed the depth of the anger you imbued to each chars loss and so did you and I guess THAT says something doesn't it?

[Crowley]

lol...thats why I love you man...always the diplomat. You are an institution on this site and a much appreciated writer and reviewer, and I really appreciate that.

[Chris]

Damn, I HAVE to learn how to blush - one day! Nah, I ain't that good, nor innocent.