What do you have to offer? (09/29/09)

A by Gazelle

Interesting question. Makes you think about yourself in a whole new light really. What is it that makes you worthwhile?

First response: Plenty of things! Duh! First response has absolutely no thought behind it so discard and start over.

I started thinking about this a lot yesterday after my first response seemed pretty shallow and without substance. I started thinking about what it was that made me who I am and why those things add value to my life. So I'm slowly thinking things through and coming up with a list. Because I think it's just as important to know your strengths as it is to know your weaknesses. Weakness I could list and list and list and...phew!!! I don't know where the list ends lol :) So here it goes.

I offer:

Love. Simple enough? This one kind of ties into some of the other things on the list but I have the capacity to love without holding back. When I love, I do so with my whole heart and I accept the other person for who they present themselves to be. There really is an endless amount of love out there and the possibilities of what love can do are just as endless as the supply. For me, love is a source of energy, it renews, it invigorates, it moves you forward through life.

Empathy. I feel other people's emotions pretty strongly because I think I put mine right out there so openly. I don't understand how people get along bottling things up inside, afraid to ask a question, afraid to speak their mind. I'm pretty good at "sensing" the emotions of people close to me. I try to put myself into their position and figure out just why it is they feel that way. And then I make my observations and hope maybe what I've sensed and seen in them helps them work through what they are going through. I'm amazed by the lack of foresight we have when it comes to how we deal with people around us. The lack of consideration we show for the people closest to us is painful sometimes. Notice how I'm including myself in that last statement? Empathy is a strength of mine but it's one of those things I can always use more of.

Learning. I recognize my faults, my weaknesses and I am open to them. The thing is everyone has weaknesses. It's our ability to acknowledge them and strengthen them that determines who we become. For me, life has become a learning process. It's full of mistakes, it's full of adventures, and it's full of love. Every single moment in life is an opportunity to learn from the mistakes, make the changes necessary so we don't repeat the same mistakes, move forward as a better person, and give/receive more love. If I find myself stuck in a routine that isn't moving me forward, I recognize it, I look for a better option, and I get started on my new path. The only routine that I want to have in my life is one of growth, one where I learn every day.

Strength. Yes, physically I can lift large rocks with the best of them. Several people attest to this :) My real strength comes from the things I just explained. Love makes me stronger. My empathy makes me stronger. My ability to learn makes me stronger. I have the strength to accept the positives, to accept the negatives, to accept life in all of its chaos, and to still come out smiling at the end of the day.

Openness. This one is present in all of the others. I am open to everything. I spent enough years of my life holding back and shrinking from new experiences to know that openness lets you live on a whole different level. The judgments don't come so quick, the disappointments don't last quite as long, and the possibilities become endless. I accept people for who they are, I accept the fact that I cannot control about 99.9% of what happens every day, I accept the changes that are inevitable in life. Not to say that I don't throw a fit and hide from it every once in awhile lol :) I've found that those "fits" are getting shorter though now. I've found that each time I go through one of those "fits" I come out with a heart and mind more open than the last time. It's very exciting to see yourself go through these periods and recognize your growth and to see, each time, your world open up more. The change, the growth part hurts but it's worth it when you come out the other side and get a glimpse of who you are becoming.

Communication. Some people will laugh at this one but here's why I put it as a strength. I am slow to communicate my thoughts, it's true. But when I do get around to communicating those thoughts, I communicate them with honesty and with openness. There is no part of my life that I am not willing to communicate about. I am open to any and all questions. The reason has to do with the openness part. I see no reason to keep any part of my life hid away. It is more difficult to live with suppressed feelings, memories, and emotions than it is to let them go, to talk about them, and to learn from them.

So that's the beginning of what I have to offer. Phew! I feel much better. For a second there, I was wondering what I was going to say :) Not really, one of my weaknesses is that I'm conceited ;)

On the flip side here are the beginnings of my weaknesses: lazy, apathetic at times, chaotic, lazy (it deserves to be listed twice), prone to emotional outbursts and saying things without thinking them through, procrastinator, unhealthy eating habits, selfish, self-centered, fence-straddler (what a weird term lol)...

The list goes on and on. I've seen all of my faults. I've seen them through a close-up lens magnified to infinity. And every day I work on making them less of a weakness.

What I have to offer is me. Simple and open. I don't expect that everyone I meet will want what I have to offer but it's good to remind myself that I do have these things and that I am worth wanting. I would encourage everyone to take the time, be as truthful with yourself as you dare, and make your own list. See your possibilities, be open to both your strengths and your weaknesses, and love the life you've been given.