TRAPPEDA Chapter by hcarson A MAN, LOCKED IN HIS OWN BODY SINCE THE DETERIORATION OF HIS ILLNESS MOTORNEURONES DISEASE, OFFERED AN EXTREMELY EXPERIMENTAL DRUG.... TRAPPED Life trapped inside your own body really isn't much fun. In fact, it's pretty damn miserable and frustrating. scary at times too, well scary a lot actually but you kind of get used to it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not after sympathy. Just saying it as it is. The nights are the worst, when you know you have all those hours ahead of you with nobody there if you need help. Sure I have a special alarm but it isn't quite the same. Especially if it's just that I can't sleep, would love the t.v. on to pass the time, have some background noise to break up the monotony..'Hey, thanks for coming all this way Buddy..emergency?...sure...can you turn sky sports on..thanks Buddy.'...yea sure to go down real well that! Another thing is what happens if a spider crawls into my bed? Sure, I'm a man and not meant to be worried by itty bitty spiders but most men would have a hissy fit waking up to a house spider making camp on his face and not able to brush it off..regardless what we tell you otherwise. You see, my mind functions just as well as yours, as does my hearing and my taste buds..yep, I even speak..but my body from those points down have simply shut down and refused to work anymore. These little pesky neurones in my brain saw to that. Not long after a bit of a punch up after a night out, I found out I had Motorneurones disease, possibly brought on by the fight. And to think I could still be enjoying food I love without having it liquidised, nights out with the boys, nights in with my then girlfriend, who decided not long after my diagnosis that she suddenly needed to split up for reasons..nothing to do with me..really Caroline..we were discussing having kids just before the diagnosis..what a b***h. Guess I can't blame her though, not now I've seen exactly what I've become. A talking head with a night bag..go me! I simply look forward to my one and only true friend coming to get me now. Death will be most welcome. one to five years I was given and I'm on year three with my arms open wide. Sick of staring at the same stains on my ceiling, eating crappy liquidised food, hoping not to choke. Hey, hoping not to choke? Maybe there's a bit more fight for life left in me yet. Now that's an unexpected revelation! *************************** "One last roll Blake and you're good to go!" Boomed my carer Gloria. With no help from me or another carer, she skillfully manuevered me into my night time position. There should have been two careworker's at all my calls but Gloria saw most of them off with her stern and quick to berate manner. At no point in any point of my life would I have dared take this lady on. One glare from her round, usually cherry red face, was enough to halt an army of men, let alone 5ft 8 in me! Her arms were as thick as my waist, white uniform stretched taut over a chest as big as...well me! She took no messin' that's for sure. she was also the kindest person I had ever met. With her crazy red hair skillyfully kept under control with about a zillion clips, her 'no-nonsense' voice, she terrified most new carer's but it was only because she cared so much about people like me. She wanted the best care possible delivered and if she thought another cargiver wasn't giving it she would simply tell them to get out the way, and do as they should already have done, and learn the damn call! She was quick and efficient despite her heavy size and I held her in my utmost respect. Unlike most people she treated me like a man, while other's either cooed over me like some sort of fool or totally ignored me as they chatted back and fore over me like I was some sort of table separating them in a cafe, Gloria actually talked to me..about man things! It made me feel normal, just for that moment, but that moment meant everything. "Guess you're watching the sports tonight!" This wasn't a question as she was already turning sky sports on, my favourite channel. The t..v. was on a timer and would switch off in a few hours which meant until then I could get lost in the world of Footie, Cricket..whatever, and forget my life had little quality and a very short time span.
© 2016 hcarsonAuthor's Note
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6 Reviews  Last Updated on March 8, 2016 Author
hcarsoncardiff, barry, United KingdomAboutI have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..Writing
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