Were Death To Come

Were Death to come and meet me
I would put my hands in his,
and leave out all my questions-
for what was no longer is.

Were Death to come and meet me
I might caress his face,
and wonder if he were lonely
not owning time or place.

Were Death to come and meet me
I would heave a heavy sigh,
for no matter what life's misery
I'm not sure I want to die.

Were Death to come and meet me
I would not say his name
but pray that his arrival
would be wrought with little pain

But Death has come to meet me
he awaits my final kiss,
now I promise, I promise,
I promise, not to miss.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow i am so glad this found its way back to the front page....i missed this the fisrt time.

this reminds me so much of Emily Dickinson's "because i could not stop for death"

making death out to be more of a gentleman caller than the grim reaper...more like a date...

and you wrote such a beautiful allegory here...

to touch his face, caress, kiss...ah yes.
in sensual terms...speaking of the meeting.

[Sami Khalil]

A very good poem. I really like this one,...Thank you for penning...:)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...

[Shivam Murari]

This is a nicely written poem, where the poet descends from luring death to go away then asking him to delay his arrival, then asking him to come with less pain and finally is ready to embrace him. This indeed is very nicely written! You seem professional :)

[icelandicblue]

I did write it as stages and I am happy you picked up on that.

[Shivam Murari]

:)

[Zahra]

I like this poem. Agreeing with Girl Friday, I think you've represented death with a different picture. And somewhat this Death seems metaphorical to me in this poem. Well done!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for the kind comment.

[ChemicalMadness]

You're "new"?? How so? This is a fine piece! I like the progression here, as well as the repetition. Especially enjoyed "not owning time or place". See? It's in THOSE moments you shine. You trailed off (ever so slightly) in the last two stanzas...follow the voice from the first 2-3 stanzas, my dear! The whole piece was enjoyable. I just preferred the earlier stanzas.

CM

[icelandicblue]

It was the first piece I posted here. I forgot to remove that. Thanks so much for the review, I'll look at those last 2 stanzas.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I liked this one...had a very nice flow and feel to it. I stumbled a bit with the first few "Were Death to come and meet me" lines, because I kept wanting to read them as "Where Death to come and meet me", but that's probably just me. Otherwise, you've used a succint format, some nice images and I enjoyed the idea of confronting Death and seeing "him" as something other than pure evil. Well done.

[Helena]

Dear icelandicblue,

I'll be gentle poetess! You may be new but your have the writing of an adept and wonderful creator of your craft.

Well done!

Thanks for submitting this to my contest.

Helena :)

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much Helena.

[quinfinn]

this is incredibly insightful and literally sings itself off the page to the reader. i love the repetition of the first line throughout the poem, very effective and resonant. marvelous write! definitely very high marks!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks so much quinfinn!

[quinfinn]

welcome!

[quinfinn]

was this a rewrite, blue? i see where i reviewed two months ago.....

[icelandicblue]

I didn't rewrite, just some editing. I hope I didn't send you and r/r since you had already read and commented.

[quinfinn]

that's okay, i want you to send me r/r's!

[Renée]

Well Done! I love your approach of the subject..giving us all sorts of thoughts without the bringing down of the reader !

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much. I am sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

[Renée]

oh never a problem...it is a pleasure to get to read it again ( :

[lee von cleef]

The kiss of Death, and she kissed back,
Working my way across the nub of a ledge
A cool drizzle, moisture
Brisk down my collar
flaky little to hold on to
Just below lights but the air is deceiving
distance alluring
S**t... that's how I got this
Mountain hug
If I would of just stayed
Stayed with the car
No time push that thought away
or this overlook will be your kiss of death.

[icelandicblue]

Once again, a masterful commentary. I thank you.

[Ella Paradise]

All i was thinking while reading this is; such strange acceptance, such a feeling of huh! never thought of Mr Death this way ...i would be holding my African spear, shield and accompanying nuclear weapons in wait...lol
you write so beautifully had me carried away

[icelandicblue]

HI,
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.