Smoking Handcuffs

He sits on the back porch
smoking in the dark
dropping ashes -sick fireflies.

Inhales deep, but exhales
with a whisper of white nicotine
while he whittles away life at
a leisurely pace.

He hears her come home
with the slam of a door
and a click of her heels
and he knows,

He knows,

If he should get caught
her caustic scorn
will light all over
him

He should have been watching
the clock, but time's missing
when you're feeding a habit
with such joy and misery.

Hiding the evidence
popping breath mints
waving at the air
as she comes around the corner.

She eyes him suspiciously
she can smell him from here
but she smiles at him anyway
because she knows,

She knows,

That he's tortured either way
and that's enough for now,
so she grabs him kissing him
hard, and pretends not to notice.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

there is no way to hide tobacco use from someone who doesn't use it. trust me, i have tried for years. my dad caught me when i was 12 and made me smoke an entire pack, one after another to teach me a lesson. it didn't work. it is horrible addictive and causes many insidious diseases...and has given yours truly lung cancer....and i still smoke. i enjoyed the way you portrayed this in your clever write, it is very well written and quite entertaining, with a resounding and clear message. and the last lines were so sweet.....well done.

[icelandicblue]

Ah quinfinn I didn't know. I've had a few family members with the same thing. One of my sister's smokes and it drives me crazy because we've had lung cancer on both sides of the family. From what she says it is a powerful addiction, some say more powerful than heroin. I used to hide my father's cigarettes when I was young and he used to get so mad. I appreciate your comments especially about the end.

[quinfinn]

we pay for our mistakes, don't we? you are welcome!!!!

[icelandicblue]

Yeah, but I wish we didn't have to. Especially when we are hurting ourselves.

[Carolann Dowsett]

I love this, it's so well written and very vivid. I love how you took me into the moment and the dark message that is woven within the words. Well done.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for dropping by Carolann.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome.

[Marie]

One of the things that ended my first marriage was that my husband could not stop smoking. I was not kind, compassionate or understanding. I was evil...

[icelandicblue]

Ha! We all have different tolerance levels. Thanks for stopping by.

[Annabelle Lee]

Tobacco is an ugly, ugly thing, I've lost a family member to lung cancer, and both my parents, my uncle, and a grandmother of mine smoke. It's something the people around you have to deal with and when trying to quit, it's something you have to deal with. Nicotine hurts everybody.

[icelandicblue]

You are quite right Annabelle. Thank you so much for commenting. It must be hard being surrounded by second hand smoke.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

A nice little snapshot, weakness forgiveness and acceptance. I thought it was going to be more dramatic at first, but it doesn't need to be. It's a very satisfying read.

[icelandicblue]

No drama today. Thanks that is what I was going for a little snapshot of life.

[Corset]

Good girl. Great poem :)

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[caesarkreshen]

I like how this opens. The first two stanzas. I think that it's fine until He knows. Would prefer a different, more similar to the pacing, way of explaining the situation and the actions that follow.

Scorching with scorn tastes sour to me.

I want girls to brush their teeth before I kiss them if they had been smoking a cigarette. Even smoking a cigarette isn't as bad as kissing someone who tastes like one. Tell him to switch to weed, it's better second hand tasting.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for commenting. Did you know that weed damages your lungs as much as cigarette smoke? Although I have never known anyone to smoke a pack of weed a day lol. The smell is most definitely sweeter. Sorry you don't like the he knows/she knows part. That was purposely done and I like it. I'm not sure I am fond of scorching with scorn. I just haven't come up with something else.

[icelandicblue]

scorching scorn does have that internal rhyme that I know you dislike.

[caesarkreshen]

Nah I don't dislike internal rhyme haha. I just don't like the way certain things sound. Just a reaction. I think a lot of people believe I go around acting like "I know best" but really I just want to tell exactly how I feel. I want to offer my brain for that moment, for what it's worth. Maybe nothing.

Weed damages the lungs, yes. Especially people who hit it hard. Well now you have known someone who did. ;)

BTW, I DID like the he knows. When I say until that means including.

[icelandicblue]

That makes sense. I appreciate your honesty. No use posting if you don't want to improve on some level. When I give a real critique I always say take what you like and disregard the rest. I do agree with you about the scorching scorn- it sucks. I'm working on it. Thanks again and visit anytime.

[Frieda P]

Was reading this, just my two cents, but scorching with causticity might work, it's in line with smoking...just a thought.

[icelandicblue]

I am going to try out caustic scorn. Thanks so much.

[Frieda P]

That sounds good...by then maybe I'll learn how to spell, welcome

[icelandicblue]

Ha ha- I reworked it. I really appreciate your input.

[Frieda P]

Happy to help out such a talented poet. Glad it worked.

[1 Deep]

Nice job, very nice story telling.

[icelandicblue]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[R. L. Ives]

I like how you show both perspectives on this. Not just from his side, but also the understanding on her side; realizing that quitting in and of itself is incredibly difficult and being able to look past the problem and loving him all the same. Like any addiction, the more you push the more they will push back.

I know this from experience. Even after sitting next to my husband's nanny as lung cancer took her last breath, and my mom on oxygen with COPD, I continued to smoke. Crazy thing is, I hated smoking; the smell and taste. I didn't smoke in my house because I didn't want it to smell.

Fortunately, after 22 years and multiple failed attempts at quitting, I finally put it down for good. Now when someone walks by me or is standing next to me somewhere I can hardly take a breath. Nothing worse than a reformed smoker they say. But I don't look down on others who smoke. It is incredibly addicting and habit forming. I had read that it is more difficult for women to quit, because the cigarette becomes their best friend. I would say I have to agree, though mine was a love/hate relationship.

[icelandicblue]

Oh RL I am sorry for your struggles. I think, regardless of our knowledge of something, we travel our own roads. We do not always pick the easiest way. Thanks so much for reading and commenting with your experience with the subject.

[R. L. Ives]

Thank you, but I think my struggles are quite miniscule compared to others.

[Dr. Wood ?]

great poem by the way...true of life

[Dr. Wood ?]

I remember MY first cigarette..I found a packet of Park Drive when I was barely 10 yr. old.......Shared them with my mate Colin, who KNEW how to smoke.....He gave me all sorts of tips on mouth washing with...eating mints....oh but I felt SO bad....HATE them with a vengence now

[icelandicblue]

Hi Dr. Wood,
Thanks for commenting. I am happy you never started smoking. I had an aunt die of lung cancer when I was 13 she was 43; she left 4 children behind. So many start young and smoke for decades. Once you've got the habit it's really hard to get rid of it.

[Dr. Wood ?]

I DID smoke for about 3-4 years but gave up thankfully

[caesarkreshen]

The Doctor!

[Dr. Wood ?]

you learn by your mistakes