Time to Collect

Something light lol.

I'm paying it forward
in a permanent way
you won't see it coming
and I won't go away.

I'm paying it forward
with all that I've got
I've dug a hole deep
and I won't get caught.

I'm paying it forward
you can fidget and fret
I'm hot on your trail
and I never forget.

I'm paying it forward
it's what you deserve
you've pushed me too far
you've hit the last nerve.

I'm paying it forward
so stiffen your spine
you're going to hell
that's my bottom line.

I'm paying it forward
with the flick of my wrist
and you'll pay the piper
because I'm really pissed.

Reviews

[therisa]

We, all have moments, which this poem is, the perfect description of our emotions and what we want to do, but won't. Which reminds me, never get on your kill list, for my poetic body will never be found. ;) Wonder, if that what happened to Hoffer's body.

Seriously, writing out your anger is, such a creative way, to vent and express yourself, which you do so gracefully.

[icelandicblue]

LOL- that anger has to go somewhere! Nice to see you and thank you so much.

[therisa]

Your welcome, and thank you. This past summer was very hard on me, fighting 3 months of agoraphobic and trapped within the narrow confines of my apartment.

[icelandicblue]

I couldn't write a word this summer. I was creatively afloat. I am sorry that you suffer so.

[therisa]

It happens to me, in cycles, like my PTSD's flashbacks. Would have traded you, the world, to have your summer's problem. Hoping your muse has returned, refreshed and ready for the coming year.

[icelandicblue]

Oh, I don't think many would want m y life. There are times I certainly don't want it. We never know what someone's real life might be even when we live in the same space. We are therefore we suffer. Some of us more than others. You have had a very tough road.

[therisa]

True, so very true. There are times, I wish I could erase my memories, and start life over again, as a new born, but this time, in the proper body.

[TL Boehm]

ah this one made me chuckle - I often take my ire out on the page against those who piss me off.

[icelandicblue]

Use your words my mother said...

[A. Amos]

This is really well done, you took your anger out on words in a stylish manner:)

[icelandicblue]

Thank you A. ; )

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Clockwork]

A good rant poem indeed. I could see this being a work rant. Maybe someone in the work place got under your skin. I think this is the perfect rant piece for anyone who works in customer service. I know a travel agent who sometimes incorporates a PIA tax (Pain in the a*s tax) for clients who really push her buttons.

I like the refrain you have about paying it forward. Also, I think your rhythm and your rhyme give this piece a light tone, even though their is a current of frustration beneath the surface.

This stanza is my favorite:

I'm paying it forward
so stiffen your spine
you're going to hell
that's my bottom line.

It reminds me of a song with a chorus that goes something like "I'm going straight to hell and you're coming with me."

Well done!

[icelandicblue]

I actually wrote it because the accountant screwed up our taxes and had us running around the night before trying to get everything in before midnight. He had plenty of time to get them done too.It was ridiculous. Thanks for your great comments.

[Clockwork]

Your're welcome. Sounds like quite an ordeal. I'm sorry you had to go through that experience.

[Rita L. Sev]

Oh, dear... ;) A rant of poetic proportions, Blue - love it!

[icelandicblue]

Thanks Rita. Some days are like that.

[Lyn Anderson]

Ouch. Sounds vicious. I love it.:)

[icelandicblue]

Ha ha...I was mad that night.

[sakshi arora]

I'm paying it forward
so stiffen your spine
you're going to hell
that's my bottom line.

I'm paying it forward
with the flick of my wrist
and you'll pay the piper
because I'm really pissed
amazing lines though i find the poem intense not light :)

[icelandicblue]

Thank you so much sakshi. I will return the favor of reviewing your work shortly.

[MsJewel]

Well, somebody really pissed you off!!! Great rant!

With that said, the flow, meter and rhyme is spot on and makes this almost a sing-song little rant. Love it!

:) Julie

[icelandicblue]

A nursery rhyme for the discontent. Thanks Julie

[Deuces]

That's what I'm talking about. Revenge is not only sweet, but at times necessary. As a lover of the rhyme, I enjoyed this poem for it's perfect rhythm and metre. The repetition of "paying it forward" made this perfect for spoken word/audio. Nice work!

[s y e]

Ha, I would hate to be on your bad side Anne, you kick 'em with you red hot stilettos on and show 'em who's boss! You go girl, this was fantastic!

[icelandicblue]

Well when I get mad I get mad. Thanks so much Noodle. ; )