Resentment

a slam poem.

I can't hear you speak, and I don't want to 

I hear the cracking on every hidden meaning and pressurized sound

I hear the thumping of your chest on every single beat as you spit out the words you want to say to me

Your lips are moving your body is loud but your mouth is silent

Your voice is silent

Your body is talking and your mouth is following

But the sound is blind 

Your body is enough, 

I don't need to hear your voice to know the meaning

Anger, emotion, hurt, sadness, sarcasm, entitlement 

You you you 

Your body says it all

I can't hear you speak, and I don't want to

Your body is aching your anger is crying

But all I hear is rain and thunder pounding in my head

The thematic control of a calm mind, which you don't seem to have

Your language is harsh and I'm not talking about your speech 

The control in your nerves are lost

Your brain is uncensored, your mouth is uncensored, your voice is uncensored but I can't hear you speak and I don't want to. 

I have the ability to turn off your speech 

And turn off my ears 

and continue hearing what I need to hear

Your voice is speaking to me from a place of love and your heart telling me it's ok 

And I'm smiling and my heart is dancing and were in a place of light and forgiveness and silence.. 

The moment is gone. And it comes with noise

And blasts and crashes and thumps and my rain And thunder has stopped in my head

My quiet place has gone to dead

And I'm in chaos and my rain wants to drown you in itself

And cradle you back into that beautiful light. 

And everything else is transparent. 

Your mind tricks you into hearing something else

And it's doing it to save you

And protect you

And keep you safe. 

From the noise, the blasts the crashes of brutality and harshness 

And ill words. 

I can hear you speak, but I don't want to. 

My mind is longing for the time of the rain and thunder to cradle it back to rest

And my body is being put to the test, 

Can I out hold this?

Or should i walk away from this mess. 

Is it ok or should I stand my ground?

MY ground. On what I should be hearing and seeing and feeling

Because what you're doing is taking me away from your being

And pushing me to the brink of my rain and thunder and turning it into an unruly slumber 

And I want to be with it, at rest.

without your lips continuing to spit out your f*****g mess. 

I can't hear you now, and I don't want to. 

Because your time has ended to rule me and break my thunder,

Don't ever say you were out spoken or turned under

I heard you and your body try to take me down 

And you did it even without a sound.