In Remembrance

Black as death the gloomy sky, 

a gentle breeze, the morning nigh.

The wind, a faint breath, leaving the realm,

of monsters and men, ascending into the heavens.

Where there is no pain, there is no sorrow,

only the joyous rain, and no morrow.

The wind brushes against my cheek,

and silently reminds me, 

of all the times I never had,

of all the things I did not say.

Where once there was silence,

echoes now the melancholy song.

The ballad that no ears hear, 

but the heart does sing.

Author's Note

Feel free to suggest how I can improve. Thanks!

Reviews

[KAin]

Excellent work!
This is a fantastic poem; in terms of imagery and diction, almost flawless.
The style is rich, and felt much like an incantation, conjuring another world for us to explore...
or at least, a small piece of it, giving the reader a taste for more.
Thank you very much for sharing.
Keep writing!

[Devesh]

Thank you for reading! :))

[Madison O'Dwyer]

Wow. This piece is just beautiful, fill of sorrow and regret.
The imagery is as breathtaking as the feelings your describe.

"The wind, a faint breath, leaving the realm,
of monsters and men, ascending into the heavens." - Every line was beautiful, and unique but these really appealed to my heart.

A common feature of your poem that I continue to enjoy is your lack of cliches, and eclectic vocabulary. Thank you for sharing :)

[Devesh]

I'm glad you liked it, Madison, this one's really close to my heart. Thank you for reading! :)

[Deswy2Knives]

Do you really think you need improvement? I don't. This is wonderful!

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot! :) I would return the favour, but your profile is rated mature. :(

[Rachelle]

We go through life unhearing, unseeing, unspeaking, immersed in the daily grind.
Too busy to see. Too busy to hear. Too busy to say.
And so the voices of our souls go unheard.

[Devesh]

Thank you for reading and for sharing your insight! :)

[Lilly]

Lovely poem - and quite thought provoking particularly at these lines:
"and silently reminds me,
of all the times I never had,
of all the things I did not say"

Nice work :)

[Devesh]

Thank you, Lilly! =)

[Tina Louise UK]

I connected with this one, felt the emotions stirring...beautifully somber :) x

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot. I'm glad you liked it! =)

[Blue]

Your sentiments touched my heart and drove me back to my memory lane. Wonderful choice of words, Devesh. I like your writing style.

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot, Arzel =)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You have such a way with words. This feeling we have sometimes when we lose someone and we realize all the things we didn't do and say.You have penned this beautifully :)

[Devesh]

Thanks Vidya, that means a lot. =)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome my friend :)

[Frieda P]

It's not easy to make a poem about death and loss sound so beautiful but you have manged that quite nicely, stellar read. I'd switch ear/hears, 'ears hear', seems to flow better, but that's just me, it's still an amazing read my friend. Kudos.

[Devesh]

Thank you for taking the time to read, Frieda. I'm glad you liked it, specially because this one's close to my heart. Thanks for the suggestion, that does sound better. I'm going to edit it. Thanks! =)

[Frieda P]

Ahh always love those special ones, this made me think of my beloved sister so it's special to me now too. :-)

[Devesh]

I'm glad it is! Really! :D All of my poems have been inspired by my Grandfather, so you should be able to find that common thread of being able to relate it to your sister in every one of them. Thanks for reading! =)

[Frieda P]

Oh you're sweet, I'll visit again soon my friend :-)

[Devesh]

Sorry, I missed your comment somehow :o Please visit again, it would be my pleasure to host you :)

[Christyn Jeffries]

Your style of writing reminds me of J.R.R. Tolkien's. It's captivating; it lures me in. There isn't a specific detail I can point to that would cause this magnetism. It just is. It must be talent.

[Devesh]

I haven't even started reading LOTR yet, but I'm planning to. I'm glad you like it. This comment made my day because this is a poem I hold very close to my heart. Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[Christyn Jeffries]

No problem. :)