Life

Theres so much to say.

I can't seem to see straight.

All I see is you.

I don't want to feel this way.

No, not for you.

But I do and I'm going to have to deal with it.

Like life.

Life is bad. Life is good.

But in the end...

This life will remain bad.

That is if your not here beside me.

Reviews

[Lilith]

The person before me is right, this poem is simple. A little too simple for my taste, actually. I feel like you could have gone more in depth with so many parts of this poem. It is titled,"Life" which made me expect something long and exaggerated, which is exactly what life is. The title of a poem should represent the poem as a whole, not just what sounds good pretty. That was my main problem with this piece-I was disappointed because I expected too much. Then again, I was let down by how little detail and description is in it.
Revise it, pick a new title, add some more details and meaningful stanzas, and it will be much better.
This has the potential to be a great poem, it just needs a little work :]

[Jane Doe]

its short and i mean that in a good way cause take my peoms for example their all short but mighty powerful and has expression and it will flow word by word itself just move your fingers to the beat playing of life love and soulmates around us but i like this peom alot its quite the thing really

[Fallen Angel]

This poem is simple. Simple is not always bad. But the beauty in poetry lies in the detail.
1.Your title is "Life" this leads to me wanting to know more. But this poem clearly isn't about life, its about love and how if you have love everything is easier. Im guessing you are trying to say if you dont have this person in your life, life will be bad. go sit with this poem, try giving it a title like i dont know uhm.."Living without you" or "Life wthout my love" You definately need to revise it, play around with words, for example the last two stanzas try this

"For without my love by my side,"
"life is simply not worth the fight"

and the first three lines

"There is much to say about this life."
"But my vision, my thoughts, my senses,"
"obscured by thoughts of you."

This poem is really a diamond in the rough. Every great writer has to write, re-write and then re-write some more, and every time you do you will learn more.

Goodluck and hope this helped.

Chantel

[Sseoni]

Wow! What a great poem! I really liked it! It's simple (which is still a good thing!), yet powerful at the same time. I really liked the ending. So sweet! Wonderful poem! :D