My moment

I stood in my white wedding dress,with one hand around Shaun's waist and the other on the knife.He had his arms the same,but the hand on my waist was pulling me close to him.The beautiful knife had a small red rose tied to the handle and was shining brightly in the light.The cake was white and had a elegant desine on it and on the top of the cake was a ton of red berries stacked in a pryamid like form and tall green candles around it.The cake was amazing and custom made."Are you ready?" he whisperd in my ear,talking in his rought voice."As ready as I'll ever be" I whisperd back smiling wide."1...2...3" he said before the knife cut through the beautiful cake.Every one cheered and Shaun kissed me.

That was the one moment I will never foget,my moment.

Reviews

[Therene]

Technicals:spelling. and use of words. :D

Content: Alluring. I've always imagined a wedding scene and yours is very beautiful.

Keep up the good work.

[Starting Over]

Awe this is beautiful moment about sharing a moment of a wedding cake... and getting married... wedding bliss and beautiful moments that makes every moment special

[Natalie]

Hmm. The lines, "The cake was white and had a elegant desine on it.On the top of the cake was a ton of red berries stacked in a pryamid like form and tall green candles around it.The cake was amazing and custom made" seemed a bit lacking. Try compounding some of these sentances, and having a more even flow between them, so they aren't short an choppy. Also, you may want to use a word such as plethora or heap instead of, "a ton". It sounds more polished, and you should watch for spelling errors. Otherwise it was good. Liked the emotion behind it.