Day 72

So I'm going to climb into my tree house and remain isolated for now. Until my emptiness is filled with hurt and until my hurt is replaced with her. She has hurt, and will hurt me again without even knowing. All the memories of the Indiana sunsets that were infused with our iris's, and all these Indiana potholes that we hit on our road trips were replaced with anger, the feeling coming from the deepest pit of my stomach. They're free. 

I count the days. Not because I'm looking forward to the end, but because I'm wanting us to begin. Let's fly aimlessly through the dark, and let's run down twisting roads blindfolded. Let's hitch-hike until we're stranded somewhere off the map. It won't matter if I'm lost. When I look at you I get lost flying through your eyes, and travelling every twisting strand of hair. Still, somehow, I find myself every time I glance at you. With you, I'm invincible, and that's why every single day I engrave tally marks in this old oak tree, and then I climb this ladder, knowing that I will just climb back down into the soil that will cut my feet as I walk to you. All these days, all these tallies and you still don't see me the way I see you. 

I want to escape the world and take you with me. I want to take the last month and leave it behind, for no one to ever see. Forget about the love, and forget about the laughs because your presence is more than enough for me. Sitting in our silence fulfills me. I don't have to touch you to feel you. I don't have to look at you to see you. I don't have to talk to you to know that you are listening. I just know. This tree house, it's unsteady, and it's creaky, but I feel safe knowing that everyday that I have loved you is permanently marked in this wood.

So when you follow me, and we make it to that tree, I'll let you put your initials next to mine so these tallies will be complete. I'm at day 72 and I won't stop scratching at this tree, until you see what you mean to me. 

Everything. 

It's all you are, and all you ever will be. 

Anything. 

That's what I'd do to be with you. 

Me. 

Still waiting, in this tree. 

"For all the times I couldn’t find the answers

Stumbling through the dark without a clue

This one’s for you" -Luke Combs

Reviews

[bookishmuggle]

Your writing is gorgeous, and I think we could all learn something from you.
"I don't have to touch you to feel you. I don't have to look at you to see you. I don't have to talk to you to know that you are listening." I LOVED this part particularly. It was brilliant!

[Samuel Dickens]

It seems there must be some back story that would aid in understanding, but what's here is engrossing, strong, and very well written.

[Jansen Duncan]

Thank you! I love keeping my pieces very open. The reason I write it because I want people to know that I relate with their struggles and that they aren’t alone. Thank you so so much!