Letter 1

Dan's first letter home

Dear Mom,

I love it so much up here. The air is much more lighter and cleaner! I'm not clearing my throat every two seconds it feels so great. I wish you could be up here to experience this with me, but you can't it's time for me to be on my own for a little bit. Don't get me wrong mom I love you truly I do, but something inside of me is telling me to be free! I can't wait to start my new life up here! It's beautiful mom I wish you could see! the sky is so open! I can;t wait for this evening I bet you can see the stars crystal clear!

How are you holding up? when you left me you didn't look like you were doing so well and I've been worried about you. How's dad? and my sisters? I know I've only been away from you for like two seconds, but being eight hours away from home I can't help, but think I've already missed so much!

Ok, I'm going to go exploring now! please write back soon!

Love you and Miss you,

Dan

Author's Note

Two seconds after his parents leaving him at college Dan writes his first letter...

Reviews

[jayfray]

Thank you for your review. I admit I didn't have time to proof read it so thank you for pointing out the sentence error. In response to your other comments here's some background information about Dan's life growing up. His parents were very strict. he was raised to show them respect and to be formal. Which explains why the letter is constructed the way it is. The reason why he's expressing all these feelings to them even though they just left is because they dropped his stuff off and left. They didn't stop and walk around or anything like that. They literally pulled right up, moved him in, kissed him good bye, and left.

[Dom Gunn]

Ok this is my first review on this site so your NO1.

His parents left him at college a very short time before so they were there with him. But he is describing the what its like to be there, the air and likely saw how open the sky was. He is wishing they could experience what he is (well they did at least briefly) so that seems out of place to do in his letter.

"I bet you can see the stars crystal clear!" there's something wrong with this sentence just the way its constructed. Try saying it out loud maybe as though on a phone to Mom.

The only other point I noticed is how formal the tone of the letter is more like writing to a bank manager than Mom. What you express in the letter seems good.