Widespread Apologies

Widespread Apologies

A Poem by Riley Bray
"

Please read, this is not as long as it looks, its mostly pictures.

"
To my dear dad,
I'm sorry that I love you
I'm sorry I always badger you about your packs and drinks
I'm sorry that in a competition between cigarettes and alcohol, and me, I lose.
I'm sorry you aren't a poet anymore
I'm sorry you never come visit me on weekends and holidays
I'm sorry that you worry me,
But I'm mostly sorry that if you don't turn your life around, I won't see you before you die.



To my grandparents,
I'm sorry if you think I'm being snappy
I'm sorry if you think I've lost tolerance for family traditions
I'm sorry if I've disappointed you
I'm sorry if you disapprove of my computer time
I'm sorry if you're angry with my generation
I'm sorry if you hate me but mom and I still need to live with you
But I'm mostly sorry that we can't have a good relationship in your final years.


To my cousin Alexis,
I'm sorry that we grew up together
I'm sorry that I'm older than you by only three months and that makes you angry
I'm sorry we were so close
I'm sorry that you hate me for my lack of popularity now.
I'm sorry that I miss talking to you
I'm sorry that I'm more mature than you
But most of all I'm sorry you've gotten yourself into drugs and alcohol and won't ask for help.



To my mother
I'm sorry I didn't put you above Alexis
I'm sorry I don't want you to baby me anymore
I'm sorry I want my privacy
I'm sorry our relationship is rocky
I'm sorry it took so long to tell you my heart hurt
I'm sorry I don't want you in my life so much
But most of all I'm sorry I'm not your best friend anymore.



To my best friend Abby,
I'm sorry you think I'm intruding on your privacy
I'm sorry you think I'm trying to ruin your life
I'm sorry I want to protect you at all costs
I'm sorry I love you
I'm sorry you think I'm a bad friend
I'm sorry I want you to trust me for real
But most of all I'm sorry we aren't what we used to be



To my other best friend Tiara,
I'm sorry I couldn't save your grandpa from his cancer
I'm sorry I'm the only one you can talk to about your feelings
I'm sorry I don't always know what to do
I'm sorry I love you
I'm sorry I want to make sure you're happy
But most of all, I'm sorry I can't always be with you



And an overall apology to everybody,
I'm sorry I existed in your life,
And I'm sorry I'm not good enough.

I'm sorry I've caused ripples.


© 2013 Riley Bray


My Review

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Reviews

This is such a heart-breaking piece, and I can personally connect with it to some degree. Like with your father and your two best friends, I can see the struggle in you reflects the struggle I have myself. It is natural to feel bad when the ones we love are not happy, because of us or not, but we cannot always make life beautiful for everybody, sometimes they must do that themselves. I loved and hated this piece, simply because it's beautiful but it is harm, also. Mostly, I hope you find some type of common ground for yourself, whether it be present with these people in your life or not. Very nice good, but I hope to never see this beautiful, torturous kind of poetry from you again! Well, at least for it to get better for you- I know you deserve that. Nicely done, however!

Yours truly, Delaney

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

That's very nice of you, Delaney. I'm sorry it tortured your mind so, ha. Thank you very, very much .. read more
A very sad poem. We can't make all people happy. Sometime for us to find our path and dreams. We will hurt the people we love. Real love is never forgotten. I like the set-up and the description in each set of lines. First step is to be sorry. Second step is to hold on to love and family forever. You will need them and they will need you. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Its correct that things will break on the struggle to find the right path for oneself. Thanks for th.. read more
This is a really painful piece Riley. The heat of suffering is so high that it radiates all around. The use of photos is so effective. Shelved into my library :')

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much Shivam. :)))
Riley, this was clearly a painful piece for you to write, but I hope it was cathartic for you to do so. If a friend of yours said that she was going to make these apologies, you would wisely tell her this: These things are not your fault. The only person we ever really have to forgive is ourselves - and then we need to let go and move on.
This is indeed the stuff of poetry - the line that choked me the most: "To my dear Dad... I'm sorry you aren't a poet anymore." Sometimes other people's shortcomings are harder than our own. Excellent poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much Rita. :) I agree that others mistakes are sometimes harder to handle than our ow.. read more
this sounds familiar.
i can feel all the emotion you've put into this; it's very heavy and sorrowful. the pictures are great additions, too. i love how specific it gets, apologies to everyone you love most, because they deserve to know how you feel. are they going to get to read it?
the ending is strong, an overall sense of rejection and failure, that, in my opinion, is not truthful to who you are, but shows the emotions wonderfully and really implants it the readers mind. "I'm sorry I've caused ripples." boom. direct and indirect failure. powerful.
but, you should still know, that i, for one, am thankful to know you. even if this is only an e-friendship doll. you're insightful, helpful, your poetry is brilliant, and you really care, about what you say/do and about others. everyone is in a different place in their life, and not everything is smooth sailing, but that's no reason to give up on yourself. not everything is your fault. your existence is not a mistake; it's a blessing. some people just need time, space, etc.
this is beautiful, hun, very emotional and beautiful :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lina Grey

8 Years Ago

haha thank you? I'm the kind of person who thinks nothing of herself and everything of everyone else.. read more
Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Haha aye. X3
Lina Grey

8 Years Ago

:D
Wow. This poem was really sad, (I almost cried) but beautiful in your simplicity.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much. :) I almost cried the first time I read it after I posted it as well, but since.. read more
Hey,
I greatly appreciated your review for one of my poems and it really got me thinking so I thought I'd hop over to your page and read something you wrote. If it was provoking I'd leave something for you and I'd read on until I found something I loved. Then I planned to send you a friend request because you seem legitimately amazing and dedicated to writing. Well, I didn't have to read long. This is the first thing I clicked on because the title lured me in, so interesting. And may I say, the actual text did not disappoint! I was amazed by your eloquence. Anyone mentioned in this who reads this will cry, I almost cried and I don't know you! I hope I do get to know you some though (not in a creepy way, lol). I'm sorry that you feel this way, like everyone is mad at you. There's light in the world, all around in fact. Just look to your left of the path you're on and I'm sure you'll catch sight and take the fork that leads that way. Beautiful. Absolutely stunning, truly. Thanks for sharing this Riley...:)

-Dell

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your intense flattery, Dell, it means a lot. I'm glad you can feel the emoti.. read more
Phillitup

8 Years Ago

Anytime Riley!
What a sad and truthful poem. I hope the people you have written this too have a chance to read it, and maybe you can mend some or all of the bridges. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

I hope so too...though I don't know that reading this would work for a lot of those people hehe. Tha.. read more
Very emotional. You don't ever have to be sorry for who you are. You can't really change who you really are on the inside, but beautifully written. I loved it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

"You don't ever have to be sorry for who you are." Does that also work for angry with yourself? Anyy.. read more
Savior of Time

8 Years Ago

Yes, it does, Riley. You're welcome. c:

-Willa
Oh Chi, I'm so sorry. ;~; You know I love you! //Tears up. - I understand.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Riley Bray

8 Years Ago

Nami-sannnn. ;~; I love you too girl. ;~;

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409 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 30, 2013
Last Updated on May 1, 2013
Tags: letter, apologies, pleading, forgiveness, change

Author

Riley Bray
Riley Bray

About
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you."---Maya Angelou "I'm not even going to get mad anymore...I'm just gonna start expecting the lowest from the people I thought h.. more..

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