My Day Procedure

TRUE....it was write something silly or cry for a week... as experience I don't want to repeat but.....

 

My Day Procedure

 

I am lying on the trolley

Just waiting for my turn

Trying to forget how much

My nether regions burn.

 

"First in line" the nurses said

"You’ll be home again by four."

So I did everything they told me

As I waited by the door.

 

Only liquid for the last two days

Taking stuff to make me poo

And now I’m here, just waiting

There’s nothing else to do.

 

I obeyed all their instructions

Went two days without a bite

The theatre door just opened

Then I get a fearful fright.

 

"I am worried," said the doctor

"this procedure has to wait,

an ECG must first be done

we can’t leave things to fate."

 

I came in for the ‘bottom end’

Now that plays a different part

‘cause something is very wrong

With this old lady’s heart

 

"Cancel the procedure’

the doctor wisely said

"We feel we should admit her

We just have to find a bed."

 

All the staff were very good

And they really did their best

But I soon thought a comfy chair

Would be my only place to rest.

 

A bed was found, then I was sad

‘cause I wanted to go home.

They put a monitor on my heart

So I did not dare to roam.

 

Other tests were done next day

To my heart they had to tend

Still no food, because you see

They remembered "the bottom end"

 

Another day with nothing to eat

I felt skinny as a rake

I dreamed of mashed potatoes,

And a slice of chocolate cake.

 

The Cardiologist came back again

He said "Your heart is sick

and till we get it working well

the ‘bottom end’ gets the flick."

 

But I fear that they’re still waiting

To their will I’ll have to bend

And they’ll do their damn procedure

On my aching "bottom end’

 

For now it seems they have to wait

For my heart to do its work

And the "bottom end" procedure

This time I’m glad to shirk.

 

©Copyright jen-JG 9^th May 2008

Author's Note

whatever you wish to say here .....

Reviews

[Nick Erickson]

Life in color. Your life is always vivid and colorful, making one laugh, cry, smile and frown all at the same time.
For now, I hope the heart is fixed and stays strong for you to continue sharing your life as for the bottom end, I hope it's a while before they get back to thinking about it again.
Take care.

[cyanskye]

Fabulous, the poem, not the experience! I know this happens way too much, I think the hospitals should post it in their endoscopy labs. As one of the GI guys I used to work with would say: "You do good job, very clean, very very clean"!

[melanie j bean]

that must have been very painful! Hope your seeing better days! God bless.

[Pointblank]

This reminds me of my grandmother who passed in 2005. She went through lots of similar feelings and like you, chose to look to the brighter side and made everyone feel better. I hope it worked. I wonder at times if I should have seen the worry underneath and tried to help her deal with it on a deeper level. I am sure you are loved as great as she was and I thank you for sharing this. Good luck. A wonderful poem.

[BelieveInCelia]

"Bottoms Up!"

Sorry...you asked for it! Jen, having a sense of humor is the best medicine in the world, isn't it?
Love ya!
Celia

[A.J. Smith]

Whatever I wish to say here...hmmm...I wish to say I wish this were all fiction, yet I know well it is not...it's all too true. I wish to say I wish there were something I could do...other than to wish this away for you. I also wish you a wonderfully rich, decadently delightful slice of chocolate cake, My Friend.

[Pinky]

Nice write! Liked the story!

[Norma J. Jessee]

You have taken a horrid and terrifying situation and turned it into a lighthearted fun read with an edge.
I know first hand how terrifying this can be. I admire your strength and the humorous way you have handled thhis situation. You're a grand lady Jen.

[radian7]

What a jolly rendition of a frustrating situation. Your subject rolled with the punches and was quite lyrical and made chuckle. Thanks for posting!

[Rachael]

you make me chuckle jen... hope ur ok if this is true :)

[Antony]

Jen, you are a witty and silly lady at times, if this is true, I hope your humor was shared with those attending you, Good luck with all of this and hope you are well. If this was all made up, then you are very clever and I sometimes wonder where you get your ideas from.
Tony