Chapter 05: The Tape

It turns out that someone else found the tape before Elise even got the chance to look for it. (Finally...! Now things are starting to pick up!) <3

The song playing was the song that Nicholas and I recorded together when we were both 10 years old. That was before he recorded a solo version of the same song for his self-titled album. The song is called "I Will Be The Light." I simply stand frozen beside Nick, open-mouthed, and waiting...praying for the song to end soon. We remain there, in the same spot, until the song finishes.

Here is how we sang it:

 

 

 

Ellie:

Oooohoo, oooooh.

 

Nick:

I can see it in your eyes

Tell me what's on your mind

Don't keep it all inside

I am here for you

 

Ellie:

Did somebody bring you down?

Turn your smile into a frown?

I'll help you work it out

When the answer's hard to find

I will give you peace of mind

 

Nick & Ellie:

When you need a friend to call

I'll be right there beside you

To shelter you and guide you

On this you can rely

When the teardrops start to fall

I will be there to dry them

Before you can cry them

In the darkest nights

I will be the light

I will be the light

Do do do do do do

 

Nick:

You can share your secrets here

There's no need to be afraid

My love will never change

It's unconditional

 

Ellie:

Live the dawn in your heart

Knocked down and torn apart

I'll help you make a start

And build it up again

Help you shine the light within

 

Nick & Ellie (with Nick doing the random singing):

When you need a friend to call

(Nick: When you need a friend)

I'll be right there beside you

To shelter you and guide you

On this you can rely

When the teardrops start to fall

(Nick: I will dry them)

I will be there to dry them

Before you can cry them

In the darkest nights

I will be the light

I will be the light

Do do do do do do

 

Nick:

Everybody's searching for somebody to believe in

 

Ellie:

Everybody needs someone to care

 

Nick:

A shoulder you can cry on

 

Ellie:

A love you can rely on

 

Nick:

So reach out and trust me if you can

 

Ellie:

Just take my hand

 

Nick & Ellie (with Ellie doing the random singing):

When you need a friend to call

(Ellie: Every time you need a friend)

I'll be right there beside you

To shelter you and guide you

On this you can rely

(Ellie: You can rely on me)

When the teardrops start to fall

I will be there to dry them

(Ellie: I'll be there to dry them)

Before you can cry them

 

Nick & Ellie:

In the darkest night

I will be the light

I will be the light

Do do do do do do

 

Ellie:

No wind (Nick: No wind)

No rain (Nick: No rain)

No storm

 

Nick & Ellie:

Is ever going to stand in my way

 

Ellie:

No load (Nick: No load)

Is too great (Nick: Is too great)

Hold on

 

Nick & Ellie:

I'll be there to carry the weight

 

Ellie:

No wind (Nick: No wind)

No rain (Nick: No rain)

No storm

 

Nick & Ellie:

Is ever going to stand in my way

 

Ellie:

No load (Nick: No load)

Is too great (Nick: Is too great)

Hold on

 

Nick & Ellie:

I'll be there to carry the weight

As the two young voices of Nicholas and myself end on sweet vibrato and perfect harmony, both of our families look up at us from the living room couches and smile. The expression on my face slowly changes from shocked to worried. Tears begin to sting at my eyes as I quickly glance at Nick, and run back up the staircase.

Why now? Why today? Why me? Why, why, WHY?!

I run back into my room and flop onto my bed, lying on my stomach. I bury my face into my pillow and start to cry.

After a few moments, I hear someone give a faint knock on my bedroom door.

Ugh, not now. I don't want anyone here.

"Hey..." A girl's voice says, almost too quietly to be heard.

I keep my face in the pillow, but stop crying. Only the tears that were left in my eyes continue to fall onto my pillow.

"Are you alright?" She asks me, genuinely. I recognize the voice - it's Mandy. "What happened down there?"

I prop myself up with my elbows, so that I'm lying on my stomach, but still facing my headboard.

"Mandy..." I start off slowly.

"What is it?"

"Can you shut the door and come sit with me?" I ask as I roll over and rest my pillows against the headboard.

"Of course," she says, closing the door. She sits herself on my bed beside me. We both are sit up with our backs leaning against the pillows and the headboard. Our feet are outstretched onto the rest of the bed.

"It's kind of weird talking to you like this," I slightly laugh, nervously. "I don't really know you that well anymore, and we don't really talk as often as we used to."

"Don't worry, Ellie; I'm still here for you, as always."

"Thanks."

We stall for a moment or two, and there is a slightly awkward silence between us for a few seconds.

"...So?" She asks considerately, breaking the silence.

"...It was the tape."

"What was?"

"The thing that made this happen," I say, indicating my puffy, red eyes.

"Oh..." She furrows her brows confusedly. "Can I ask why?"

"It's just that...the main thing is that...it was of me singing," I tell her.

"I thought you loved singing?" She looks even more confused.

"I do! ...I mean, I did..." My expression slowly fades.

"Why don't you like it anymore?" She asks, sympathetically.

"Well, I guess I still like to sing, but the only thing is - ...I haven't been singing at all since -...since the incident."

"Oh, that's it, is it?"

"Yeah. Not even one tune has come out of me since then."

"Hun, you don't have to let that hold you back. I'm sure your mom would've wanted you to fulfill your ambition of singing."

"But that's the thing!" I start to get upset again. "I don't know if that's what she would've wanted!"

"Trust me. She would have. She was a kind woman - I knew her for quite a while. You were her angel."

"Oh, don't say that," the mention of me being her angel makes me tear up again.

"I'm sorry, Ellie..."

I take a deep breath, "It's okay, I know you didn't mean any harm by saying that..."

"I didn't..." She sighs. "But still, you know...she wouldn't have wanted you to stop singing completely, just because something like this happened. And I'm sure that if she thought that she was the reason you stopped, she would be even more upset... I don't mean that in a bad way at all, you know."

I reduce my amount of tension with an extensive sigh, and sit there for a moment with her.

"I dunno...I guess you're a little right."

"A little?" She laughs, kindly. "Ellie, I'm a lot right! Believe me on this one."

I give her a slight smile, "Okay."

I zone out again. "But back to what we were talking about before - I'm just not sure that I'm ready to start singing again. After what I've been through these past months, it's just going to be really hard for me to get back into the swing of how things used to be."

"It's going to be hard," She tells me, wisely. "Things like this are always hard, and they always will be, no matter what. Just go at your own pace, and don't let other people pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. Just do what you want!" She smiles again, "Although, I'm sure everyone would want to hear you singing again."

"Yeah, I know..." I give her a little smile in return.

Mandy is right, even though I hate to admit it in this situation. Nonetheless, I know, deep down inside, that all of the things that she had just said were true. I really did used to like singing. I used to sing all the time! Anywhere and everywhere...even randomly sometimes! It was one of my favourite parts of church, too; singing with the choir and the audience. That's how I met Mandy and the Jonas family; through church. (Mainly the church choir, though.)

I moved from Culver City, California to Wyckoff, New Jersey, in the summer of 1999, just after I had finished second grade. It was a big change of atmosphere for me, no doubt. My father, Simon Brooks, was born and raised in Wyckoff, you see, so he wanted to go back there in search of his old friends and family. However, he moved back to Culver City in 1990 (two years before I was born) with my mother, Sandra Moore, whom he had met in Wyckoff. He was the manager of a band at the time, so he rented a large apartment for the group of them (meaning himself, my mom, and the four members of the band). They only moved there so that the band would have a better chance of making it, since Culver City is right outside of Los Angeles. They tried for about year and a half to get the band famous, or at least noticed. Needless to say, their dream was unsuccessful.

They had just given up all hope when my mother became pregnant with me. I was "the one who lifted everyone's spirits," as my dad has said many times. When the going got rough, and everyone had given up, they were all in emotional states, but knowing I would be coming along soon made everyone have a sense of hope. My mother developed gestational diabetes not too long into her pregnancy. (Gestational means during pregnancy.) Her father (my grandfather) had type two diabetes, so it was no surprise that she would get a form of it sometime during her life. But she survived it, like most people do, and I was born on Wednesday, November 11, 1992 in the Good Samaritan Hospital of Los Angeles. So just as the band got rejected for their last and final time, I came along and made everyone content again. However, the band has still never made it 'till this day. We lost touch with them after a few years, and they all went their separate ways.

I lived in Culver City for 7 years in a beach house. When we moved, I wasn't that thrilled. Even though I was really young, I had still heard bad things about the neighbourhoods in New Jersey from television and movies, so I really didn't want to move there...let alone, anywhere. My attitude changed, sure enough, when we got there and I actually saw the house. One of the main reasons we moved to New Jersey was so my father could be with his best friend, Kevin Jonas. The two of them, being the same age, were best friends since they were in high school. They lost touch around a year after my dad moved to California, but reunited via the internet about a year before we moved. The other reason that we moved back was, of course, that my dad got a job in the real estate business in New Jersey. When we moved, my father's brother (my uncle Andrew) and his family bought our house in Culver City.

We bought a house in an impressive neighbourhood, near the Jonas family (six houses away from them). Both of our families got along great from the moment we met. But still, my father was the one who was mainly associating with them, for the most part. The only times my mother and I were around them was during church, or on holidays. That's why when the Jonas boys left to go on tour, it didn't severely affect my life. Of course, I still really missed them from time to time, and wished I had their company now and then, but I got over it, and made new friends.

Mandy lifts herself up off the bed after a long silence, and stands up.

"C'mon, let's go back downstairs now," She tells me.

"...Alright," I get up as well, and follow her out of the room.

 

Author's Note

I thought that was the perfect song for Nick & Ellie.
Tell me what you think! <3

I like comments; feedback is greatly appreciated! :)
nickjstory.blogspot.com