Make a choice !!

well another one of my religious poem s

Religious poem ,

　

By:Jennifer Little

　

Make a choice .

　

Your deep ways are in the sea,

There’s no turning back now ,

The little antichrist’s alive a well,

We praise ,

And sing ,

Glory to the land,

Oh dear God ,

Helplessly left here to die upon our sins,

Bless id be the Glory land of God,

Forgive ,

Not forgive ,

We shall not parish ,

But if we have sind ,

We’ll be left here to make a choice ,

Heaven , or Hell ,

What will your choice be ?

The end,

Author's Note

well tell me what you think give me some reviews

Reviews

[Heromen Selena]

Pretty good. I think the last stanza's a bit odd.

[I Am Svetlana]

I really liked this because we do all mainly have a choice. Good or bad choices are a part of life, but it is our decisions that lead us down those certain paths and make us end up where we are today. Nice work :)

[Angelic Surrender]

Nice work. I really like this one

[?]

Nicely expressed

[Pencrafter]

This poem appears to me to be a simple statement of faith and spirituality. Our Creator designed us that way, which is why everyone from the simplest tribesman to leaders of huge nations all have an inborn need. I like the way you have a short statement or line that gradually increases in length and complexity. I encourage you to continue making progress by carefully and slowly proofreading so as to catch small errors; it's something we all need to do. Keep cultivating that imagination.

[khalid]

umm nicely written although i am sooo much away in belief

[Rev. Fr, S. D. Blankens..]

Hm, I'm guessing you are not analogical? Your Angles need work as well.

Religious poem ,

　

By: (there should be a space here) Jennifer Little

　

Make a choice .

　

Your deep ways are in the see, (Do you mean sea, as in large body of water, or see as in to look?)

There’s no turning back now ,

The little antichrist’s alive a (Do you mean An, a form of be, or and, and for of also) well,

We praise , (ending should be a period)

And sing , (ending should be a period)

Glory to the land,

Oh dear God ,

Helplessly left here to die upon our sins,

Bless id I think you mean “it world” here instead of ’id’) be the Glory land of God,

Forgive , (Forgive, forgiveness, of forgiven?)

Not forgive , ( Not forgive what?)

We shall not parish ,

But if we have sind , (Sind? Is that a word? Do you mean “sinned”?)

We’ll be left here to make a choice ,

Heaven , or Hell ,

What will your choice be ?

The end, (There should be an ending mark here, not a coma, I.g. “.” “!” or a “?’)

~S. D. Blankenship

[Emerald Seas]

The poem is good, subject matter handled well. My question... why do you have spaces separating your punctuation (the commas spaced out) like that?

[MandaBear]

very powerful write :) you did a great job:)