Bent to Breaking

                All the windows glowed in the light of numerous candles as Fanira’s mother bustled around inside the house (no doubt worrying herself into the grave over Fanira’s late return). Fanira paused outside the door and took in a deep breath, knowing that she would have an earful once she stepped through the threshold. She laid her hand on the handle and was just about to push it down when a rustle sounded in the bushes beside her. She rolled her eyes and counted. One, two, three...

                “Rooaarrrrrrrrrr-oomph!”

                “Alek what have I told you about sneaking around in the village?” Fanira held the struggling boy by the clothes on his back and waited for him to stop moving then set him gently on the ground.

                “Did you catch anything Fanira? A big mountain lion or a bear?”

                “I didn’t catch anything but I did kill the lion that was causing us so much grief this winter.”

                “Was it big?” Fanira rolled her eyes again and let her aggravation show with a huff of her breath.

                “Yes it was very big. Shouldn’t you be at home in bed?”

                “I---” The child crossed his arms and stopped talking.

                “That’s what I thought.” The door to her house opened and Fanira’s mother stood there her worry permanently etched in her too weathered face.

                “Fanira! Oh thank the spirits of all, your ok-”

                “Yes mom I’m fine, but I think I need to return some little boy home.”

                “Someone, but who-”

                “Hi Ms. Katil.” Alek announced from behind Fanira

                “Oh, Alek, Shouldn’t you be in bed. You really shouldn’t be wondering around the village at night dear.” Fanira smiled at her mother.

                “That’s exactly what I thought so I’ll return him home and be right back.”

                “Alright dear but hurry back will you, it’s so dangerous at night.”

                “Yes mom, go to bed and I’ll be back soon.”

                “Fanira?” Alek asked as soon as they were out of sight of the house.

                “Hhmm?’

                “What are the mountains like?” Alek and the other children often asked this question, for Fanira was the only person who had seen beyond the Pass.

                “It’s very cold and quiet.” She said quickly knowing the child was only looking for a reason to enter the Pass himself. But as she looked down at the small child she was reminded of the tranquility the mountains brought and the mystery that pulled her back to them everyday since she first got lost in them. Why am I the only person to ever come out of the Pass alive? She found herself pondering this question a lot lately.

                “Fanira?” Aleck said jerking on her furs and snapping her out of her revere. She knelt down and held the child gently by the shoulders.

                “Alek, you must promise me you’ll never enter the Pass.”

                “Bu-”

                “Ah, promise me!” she insisted shaking the child a little.

                “Alright, I promise.” He said squirming under her grasp.

                “Good, now let’s get you inside before you freeze.” She walked the child up the steps and knocked on the door while holding the child’s wrist so he wouldn’t run.

                “Yes?” A young woman answered the door in a deer skin robe.

                “I believe your missing someone Mrs. Toschen.” Fanira answered pulling Alek out from behind her.

                “Alek! What are you doing out of bed?! Do you realize that you could have gotten eaten by the lions or gotten sick?! Look at you; you don’t even have boots on! Get inside and get into bed now!”

                “But mommy-”

                “March!” The mother said pointing to the hall that led to their rooms. After Alek was a good ways down the hall Mrs. Toschen surprised Fanira by turning back to her.

                “I thank you for bringing him back but I must ask that you stay away from him”

                “That’s not just for me to decide. If you want the boy away from me, you’ll have to talk to him about it. I'm not the one seeking him out.”

                “Regardless, I still don’t want you around my son!”

                “I will do my best to avoid him, but from what I know of your son he will search for me if I am away too long.”

                “That is for my husband and I to deal with, not you!”

                “Minis,” Fanira said quietly, making the woman stop in her tracks, “We used to be the best of friends, there was once a time when you asked me to be your child’s guardian.”

                “That was a long time ago.” Minis answered looking down and clenching her fists hard.

                “Not as long as you’re thinking it was.”

                “It was long enough!”

                “Mini? Is something wrong?” Minis’s husband was standing in the hall behind her.

                “No dear just someone going around asking for charity, go back to bed I’ll be there soon.”

                “Who would be begging-” he noticed Fanira then and his face flushed an angry red. “I will see you soon.” He said and turned around mumbling a few curses in his wake.

                “Good night.” Minis spat pointedly, and shut the door in Fanira’s face. Fanira stood there for a moment then sighed deeply, running her hand through her russet hair.

                “Good night to you too dear friend, may you be safe.” She said as she left the steps of her old friend’s house.

                The walk back to her house was quiet as she passed the dark and silent silhouettes of houses, whose occupants were now sleeping peacefully. Though she lived within the boundaries of the village, though she was invited to the festivals and parties, she was always on the outside looking in. She cast her eyes to the heavens and looked at the billions of tiny stars that winked down at her, trying to decipher what her future might hold. Her house was still fully lit and her mother’s shadow paced impatiently across the kitchen window. Fanira braced herself before going in, she knew that her mother cared for her but there were times when a mother had to become aware of her child's age. Fanira was no longer the frightened and curious child who had gotten lost in the Pass. She found her father sitting in the kitchen, his fingers thudding impatiently on the table and her mother pacing by the sink. Her father looked up from the hole he was burning into the floor and gave her a look that said “Save yourself.” Fanira shook her head knowing that she couldn’t avoid this lecture forever. Her father rolled his eyes at her and then looked at her mother clearing his throat. Fanira’s mother turned to look at him and he pointed at Fanira.

                “Now Nastalia, go easy on her.”

                “I know how to handle my child, Lanel.” Fanira’s mother glared her husband back into his seat.

                “Now you missy,” she said turning back to Fanira. “What are you thinking?! You go up into that Pass everyday and everyday you come back later and later. This is the last time! I can’t allow you to go into that Pass, you endanger yourself too much. Either you stay within the village or we can no longer let you stay under this roof.”

                “Fine I’ll pack my things and leave you to your business.”

                “No you won’t, you’ll stop going into that Pass and become a good wife and mother like your friend Minis did-”

                “And who would marry me mother?! You know as well as I that there is no one in this village who would have me. The Pass is how I make my living mother and no one wants to be around, let alone merry, someone who they think has a pact with evil spirits!” Fanira stopped once she glimpsed her mother’s shattered expression.

                “No one thinks you have a pact with evil spirits-”

                “Mother I’m not deaf. I hear what they say and I know it’s never going to change, You might hold on to the minute fantasy that I will miraculously be forgiven by the village and become the perfect little house wife, but I know better. It’s never going to happen mother!” She added as her mother tried to interrupt. Realizing her earlier tactics weren’t working Fanira’s mother started to cry. Tears slowly trekked their way down her face to drip off her chin. Fanira roared her discontent this was when her mother made her mad, when she would pull any and all stops to control her family. She couldn’t take it anymore she had enough of trying to help her mother to understand her, when all her mother really wanted was for her to be someone else. Fanira left the house with her mother trailing after her.

                “Fanira you get your little butt back here now!”

                “No mother, I can’t-”

                “What do you mean you can’t? You walked away you can certainly walk back-”

                “Stop!” Fanira shouted making her mother draw back, “What I meant was I can’t keep living like this! I can’t keep coming home and have you jump on my a*s about how I’m not normal and how I need to try harder to be like everyone else. Did it ever occur to you that I like who I am? Why do you think I stay in the mountains so long?”

                “Young lady you march your a*s in that house this instant or-”

                “Or what? Huh? Can you honestly make a threat against me?” Fanira stopped she didn’t want to go down this road with her mother. “Good bye mother, until you decide to accept me for who I am, I’ll stay out of your way.” She turned around to walk up the street and nearly tripped over an old lady standing there.

                “Sorry,” Fanira mumbled as she tried to work her way around the woman.

                “Oh, it's quiet alright, deary. These old bones have ‘ad worst bumps in de past. He he.” The old one said as she turned and hooked her arm through Fanira’s so fast that Fanira didn’t even have time to blink before she was being walked/dragged down the street.

                “I couldn’t help but over ‘ear that ya was havin’ a bit o’ trouble with yar ma. May I ask why?”

                “Um- Well it was about a certain part of my, um, personality.” Fanira answered as she tried to tug her arm free of the old woman’s vice-like grip.

                “And what part would that be deary?” Fanira relented and let the woman drag her. After all the old one wasn’t really doing her any harm. But by impulse her free hand slowly inched towards her dagger. It wasn’t there. She started to panic a little, thinking maybe she had left it at home.

                “Looking for this deary?” The old woman asked. She held Fanira’s dagger lightly in one hand and flicked it about in emphasis. Fanira’s shock must have showed clearly on her face for the old woman laughed.

                “Don’t worry child, I intend to give it back to ya, but first I need to know who ya are and if ya can trust me. Now are ye goin’ to answer my question?”

                “Shouldn’t you be more worried about if you can trust me or not?”

                “Who’s got de knife?” Damn, She’s right. “Now what was that part of ya, yar ma and ya was arguin’ ‘bout?”

                “Huh?”

                “Ya ma an yas was arguing’ about a certain part o’ yar personality.”

                “Oh that. I go into the Pass a lot and she doesn’t like it- wait a minute. You don’t know who I am?”

                “I should say not this is de first time we met.”

                “But you haven’t heard of me?”

                “O’ course I heard o’ ya. Yar that little lady that goes into de pass all de time and comes back alive. Everyone’s  heard o’ ya. Is that what ya want me to say?”

                “Yes, well no-”

                “Which is it den yes or no?”

                “ Yes-No- AHH! I don’t know!”

                “That’s yar problem den, ya know too little 'bout ya self.” Fanira started to say something then shut her mouth. She was right. Ever since she was nine all she had ever been was the girl who survived the pass. Before that she used to be a friend, a daughter, a part of the community, but after the day she got lost all of that went away. She was always who people saw her as, never who she wanted to be.

                “Who are you?” Fanira asked.

                “I am de witch Hazel.” The old one answered proudly. Fanira staggered and nearly tripped on the rough road and the words. The witch Hazel lived the closest to the mountains and delved deeply into the magickal arts. People usually went to her if they had a problem that no one else in the village could help with. She had heard story (everyone had heard stories), like how “The witch” had done this or that or had saved a life, but she had never really made herself public.