Romantic apprehension on selection

On seeing the door closed,
there surface,about the insiders,
many notions and stands.


But,
how could she know?
there awaits,
behind the door,the timeless fathomless ocean
with love straits, unforeseen treasures.


She might have reserved ears
for a mere call
to pull apart the door.
But,
how a mute ocean call whistle?

Unless the hive of silence
dismantles on its own
a decision may live unborn.


But even if ship wrecks
and no rudder left,
got degenerated in to nothing
at least the rhymes of my cells
will attain her shore
struggling against
the cold, depth and the waves

Reviews

[Anjali]

wow i love your poem, great work!

[M P Ramesh]

anj,
Thanks for the interception made and I take seriously the fact that it made a ripple inside the reader even after almost 20 years of its birth. One should not ask for the age of the work , like to the ladies . I learn it by the course of time.
mp

[Mrinalini R]

Beautiful, gracious and sublime! The depth of thought is titillating, the sentiment in backdrop screams out aloud and the framing of thoughts in words is soul-touching.

To be frank, i became nostalgic. I remembered the moment when the smart Alec in me fooled me into thinking that going up to that person for whom your heart has started beating, is an easy thing. Oh! God! My nerves had never betrayed me in such spectacularly embarrassing fashion! That trembling of the feet, that twitching of the fingers, that lump of tension stuck in your throat... uff! Love is a wicked tormentor!

Unfortunately, when 'the rhymes of my cells attained her shore', she was cruel enough to mercilessly kick them back into the ocean 'to struggle against the cold, depth and the waves'

Sorry for being comical in reviewing such a soul-touching poem, but i believe when a piece of writing transcends the book/screen to send the reader back into some forgotten journeys of his life, that work acquires an added significance.

Nevertheless, thumbs up to you sir. Brilliant!!

(I don't believe in ratings and points. So, i excuse myself from those things)

[M P Ramesh]

mrinalini,

Thanks for the deep and sincere involvement shown. If a poem of 20 year old can generate such waves, I say am grateful


regards

mp

[Kathrin S]

There are some very nice lines in this. I especially enjoyed 'the rhymes of my cells', it's original and poetic.

The part "But how a mute ocean call whistle?" isn't correct grammatically - maybe clarify.

Other than that, it was a very interesting read!

[M P Ramesh]

kathrin,

Again a mistake
the language is born and told to pass the innate emotion
grammar is only a high school programme from where original writers have already been got dropped out

from my point of view it is gone and by gone are the days

you must think out of box
your strict teacher note book may produce original work but at the expense of soul.It has limited life.
I tell you am now writing a fiction about language ........yes nearly extincted language, in it only one person survives................which one is extremely famous one without punctuation marks at all.see literature has surpassed all the traits of scientific method of languages( grammar is one among them)

I dislike readers who grave for grammar and other connected literary glossary ( which was neatly done by Jhonson ) in works. But of course critics have to do it for job purpose. You know all critics are failed poets / writers . You may dispute...But i adhere to. Yes there is EGO in a writer which is beyond all ROYAL IRE.
and to your notice
i will try all methods to transact at the cost of anything ( grammar is only one among them) to PERFECT MY WORK.

aM COMING FROM A LAND WHERE sANSKRIT LANGUAGE , THE GREAT WORKS of humans were produced........search google for more . In which Grammar ( I refer to PANINI ) is the soul which was rediculed by great minds like VYASA, VALMIKI, KALIDASA, GUNADYAN, BHASAN.


nice to the interaction

regards and tks

mp

[kirti Shambhuwani]

U're a real trooper, the metaphor of ship is a witty presentation, indeed a masterpiece written in blank verse. .

[M P Ramesh]

kriti,


I need more,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

mp

[kirti Shambhuwani]

Sir!! Reviewing ur piece of work itself is a huge task.. U e making it even tougher for me. 😅

[M P Ramesh]

kirti,

take it easy.......
after all it is interaction. It should never be academic. Just discourse. You will feel that it is benefiting the thinking process and output rather than mere reviews without OXYGEN. I enjoy it. You may also , I feel.
Be free and never mind the impact or otherwise

mp

[kavya]

Wow......awesome poem.......amazing!!! Feeling so refreshed and relaxed after reading this poem....

[M P Ramesh]

thanks for the the interaction with sincere remarks

mp

[Sanjukta Sen Banerjee]

Fresh unorthodox imagery - of the pardox of choice that exists that was born with the birth of the first spec in the universe..

[M P Ramesh]

sanjukta,
thanks for the insightful remarks and challenges shared within a poetic mind.....read moresanjukta,
thanks for the insightful remarks and challenges shared within a poetic mind.....
mp

[Sanjukta Sen Banerjee]

The closing line sums up precisely -It is better to pronounce love and loose than suffer in silence for good

[M P Ramesh]

but it is anti natural................................. dear

[It's Me, The Miracle]

Transcendental thought with intelligent presentation....A rhythmic notion of life...Loved it

[M P Ramesh]

ImTm,

OK......Thanks for the sincere and first hand reading and analyses...
MPR

[Miss Sharon]

A brilliant and well written post! I love this stanza (Unless the hive of silence dismantles on its own a decision may live unborn.) Bravo! ~Sharon

[M P Ramesh]

sharon,
thanks for your intervention and deep entry in to poetic sensibility.........i take it in true spirit
mp

[Miss Sharon]

You are quite welcome my fellow wordsmith! ~Sharon

[M P Ramesh]

thanks dear

[Jessica]

I loved everything about this poem.... Every word and stanza invokes deep emotions. Thank you for sharing with us all.

[M P Ramesh]

jessica,
thanks for the involved remarks...........have pleasure and wish new writings...........

mpr