Sixteen

Wandering thoughts of a scattered young mind....

Sometimes feelings become far too real

Emotions begin to consume your world.

Eventually sleep is the only escape

Even a razor hardly dulls the pain.

The Earth won't stop spinning

And time seems to whirl by too quickly.

People come into your life

Then disappear with a piece of your heart.

Society threatens and sneers 

Judging everything you hold dear.

We're only human

I'm only a girl.

My mind is full of fragile thoughts

Strongly guarded by impenetrable walls of steel.

Youth are corrupted, overshadowed, scared

I'm only sixteen...

And life is already a burden. 

 

Reviews

[Tomás Ó C..]

Take a step back and take it at your own pace. Think, when people had nothing theysurvived and enjoyed. They could.... their priorities were different than us today.

Then you can cut it at life,and cut out the razor blades.They are only for shaving, OK?

[The Butterfly Writer]

Really honest. This is impressive. It can be tough, but it does get better. Just find your place, then it's all smooth sailing :)

[Lydia Shutter]

A brutally honest expression of emotion. Yes, the teenage years can seem impossible to navigate, but then suddenly the waters are smoother and the waves are your friends. Just keep moving forward. Things WILL be better. Lydi**

[Sanober]

Been there, done that! This is an amazingly real and powerful portrayal of the world through a teen's eyes. but trust me...it gets better. as the days and years unravel, you will discover the true meaning of things...each person, each experience will teach you, leave you with something that no school or college ever will.... either a blessing, or war wounds you can carry proudly into adulthood. Just hang in there, my friend.....enjoy the freedom and adventures of this tender age. it won't last forever, and it won't come again :) Good luck to you, this was a wonderful poem.

[Laminators Dubai]

People come into your life
Then disappear with a piece of your heart.
amazed me!
yeah 16th year seems just a nightmare...
i can say others review are constructive.
really glad just by reading it.
thanks for sharing this!

[minisla]

overcoming these barriers will eventually set you free to be you.

[MoonLogic]

I think you write well and I can only agree with Dr. Wood that your described feelings are part of being a young hu(wo)man. Poetry can be the way to communicate with others out there. I hope you'll find that many others struggle with similar things. Some (hopefully) constructive comments: I like to see less explicit description in poems. Try to follow through on the metaphors and analogies you're using (fragile thoughts, impenetrable walls) rather than very explicit descriptions like "sleep is the only escape" or "society threatens and sneers". But hey, I find that very difficult myself and maybe it is an active choice to write like this. Keep up the good work!

[Dr. Wood ?]

it's how the mind works when you are young and you describe it pretty damn well, I think it should read...THE youth towards the end..but i only write for laughs so what do I know?

You did well with this