forgive me

forgive me

A Poem by joshua deathdealer
"

07/2011

"
forgive me for tomorrow
I'll be gone before you wake

before you wipe the decay
from your empty eyes
I'll be painting my face
with the remains of your
sick idea of our love

before you snort your breakfast
I'll be sitting on the ground
somewhere, ripping up blades
of grass, imagining you

before you toy with the idea of
calling me, I'll have already
thrown this phone out
the car window, imagining you

before the sun sets on the
wasteland that you call home
I'll have already swallowed
my sorrows and moved on

before the moon reaches its peak
in the midnight sky, I'll be
dancing like you were never there

because honestly you never were

© 2011 joshua deathdealer


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Author's Note

joshua deathdealer

My Review

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Featured Review

Love this.

You are very fluid with your words. I also like the progression of the poem. Slowly, the person is moving on but early on there was a moment of hallucinating grief to pass through. There really isn't much I'd criticize. Yes, it is a bit straightforward, but the simplicity of this is its strong point.
Another thing that struck me was the great ending. It drops like an anchor on dry land. Well done my friend.

Posted 12 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Gone and yet the memories remain..through the blades of grass and the imagining.. Then you bring it home with "honestly you never were"... great write..x

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Time to move on, I agree; time to just plain bail. Been there, or very similar. I like it, strong and necessary.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1120 Views
42 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 9, 2011
Last Updated on August 9, 2011
Tags: breakup, goodbye, dark

Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



About
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..

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