misconception

misconception

A Poem by joshua deathdealer
"

10/2011

"
Here we lay surrounded by your memory. 
Self created to alleviate the scars that
etch my soul. This propagated selfishness
burns around us as I desire to stay and 
let this collapsing thought consume me.

You look up at me with admiring eyes.
Eyes that remind me of someone else.
One that awaits outside of this spawned
realm for my love and guidance. This can't
be you. You wouldn't keep me from life.

So unable to cope with your hapless passing
that I have copied your presence in my mind.
An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto 
our delicate memories in a narcissistic 
way. I am dissipating every new moment.

The ground begins to crack upon my 
realization that this appearance isn't 
really you at all. Suddenly everything falls 
away and a raging sea materializes.
I am aboard a ship sailing for the exit.

Turbulent waves rise to bar the looming
outlet. Pushing the vessel to and fro.
Storm clouds flood the sky and rumble 
as your anger grows. Lighting cracks
and punches through the salty air.

Your simulated screams echo with the wind as
waves reach to try and drag me backwards.
Towards the center of this destruction.
My mind cuts down it's own advances,
severing the ties that pull at my heart.

The rickety craft drifts out of my 
fabricated spell. Carrying me safely
to reality. "Daddy" my daughter cries
as I awake. I reach to hold her. This
is what you would have really wanted.

I know because I can feel your smile.

© 2011 joshua deathdealer


Author's Note

joshua deathdealer

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Featured Review

beautiful thoughts...would you consider trying wording it this way?...

"Here we lay surrounded by this self- created memory,
alleviating scars which etch my soul.
This propagated selfishness
burns around us,
as I desire to stay ,
letting this collapsing thought consume."

does that sound a bit more like you wished it to sound?




Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Awww that ending... so sweet, i love this. Especially these lines:
"So I have copied your ghost in my mind.
An peaceable avenue for me to hold onto "


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I felt every word..you are a descriptive genius.. and boom back to what's real with "Daddy"...perfect..x

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"You look up at me with admiring eyes.
Eyes that remind me of someone else.
One that awaits outside of this spawned
realm for my love and guidance. This can't
be you. You wouldn't keep me from life."

I like this stanza...... great write.....

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love Blessthefall!

It seems the last time I logged in my writerscafe was messing up. Any who, to better matters! This poem has a flow that I can't even depict. Its brilliant and it makes poems like these more genuine than anything.


"Your simulated screams echo with the wind as
waves reach to try and drag me backwards.
Towards the center of this destruction.
My mind cuts down it's own advances,
severing the ties that pull my heart."

Just breath taking with your word choice. :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Not sure how I feel about this poem in general.. just know that it resonates with me on a emotional level.. almost like you are hiding behind the words, you really want to say.. to hell and back, and in the end, all that matters is the child that you created together.. very good all around!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully penned, heartfelt work.

I love this piece!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really heartwarming write...
I liked it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is a beautiful poem.. sometimes we create an imagery, walls of pretense to escape from truth and when this breaks it can be very devastating.. Liked the way you ended it.. Well done mate.. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very beautiful your really good thank you for sharing with me

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sounds to me like a man considering a decision that he can never take back, until that final moment before he makes it. An external reality that shapes it all in the end. This is favorited.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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851 Views
35 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 14, 2011
Last Updated on October 31, 2011
Tags: love, memories, dark, mirage

Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



About
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..

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