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A Poem by Canicus

I thought this was a cool analogy to put with the way I felt

Clouds fill the sky
hiding the stars
from the earth
and it is curious

Where did they go
I want to see them
see how they luster
against the dark vast sky

Mountains destroyed
weathering and erosion
vandalizing my precious land
leaving me barren features

Corrupting from the inside out
earthquakes cracking the surface
blemishing the worthy sight
and hiding the beauty

I wonder to myself 
how am I suppose to know
what's been unclear for years
how can I know myself.

© 2013 Canicus

Author's Note

Sorry I didn't rhyme but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

My Review

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Wow, this is outstanding. I cannot express how well-written this is. I totally agree with the reviews below. This does not need any rhyming. I like to rhyme but sometimes a writer needs to free style from the heart. It is amazing to see writers expressing themselves without following a particular rhyme scheme and going with the flow of their heart. Keep writing and I hope you will find yourself soon! :)

P.S.-Incredible analogy by the way!

Posted 6 Years Ago

Loved it without the rhyming, I don't really rhyme in anything. Let it flow how you imagine it. Nicely done.

Posted 6 Years Ago

It sounds fine without the rhyme. Amazing yet very deep

Posted 6 Years Ago

From your Author's Note, it doesn't need to rhyme; it was great with out it. I do like the analogy in this poem, especially the first stanza with the stars and clouds but I like how you took it further and used many more parts of the Earth.

Posted 6 Years Ago

Some lovely imagery here
It's a great thought-provoking piece - and they are often the best - it's ideas staying with the reader long after they have turned the page...
Nice work

Posted 6 Years Ago

Deep very thought provoking poem. I liked it very much!

Posted 6 Years Ago

I like this. Simple but deep. To me it puts to face our often misunderstood connection with nature. I particularly enjoyed the last stanza.

Posted 6 Years Ago

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7 Reviews
Added on November 21, 2013
Last Updated on November 21, 2013




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