3 Weeks Til Graduation

mood: apathetic. my life is spiraling downward. i couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert...haha jk (I Must Be Emo by Hollywood Undead) real mood: so so 5/15/9

so i'm sitting here in my teacher's (Matty) office because i have library research class and we're doing AP testing, which i don't want to be stuck in the back doing nothing. I'm kinda just browsing back and forth between writerscafe and myemohairstyles.com. Which sounds totally lame, but it's really fun. Especially the post Corrupt A Wish.

But today, everything's going all right. i spent the whole day hanging out with Matty, my video production teacher. He announced to the class today that he was moving back to New York. He had already told me last wednesday. It totally made me cry, which sounds really weird, being as he's my teacher and all, but this guy has been taking care of me the last two years. And even though i graduate in three weeks, and wouldn't be coming back to 411 class (video production), i was still planning to come back and see him. Seriously though, Matty is so awesome. He's one of those teachers that are really hilarious, but extremely smart and good at cheering you up. And i know this because i've needed a lot of that this year. Between my crazy psycho parents and getting screwed over by the boy that i cared most about in this world, Matty has seen millions of tears. I will miss him so much. I wrote a poem about it called Ecchymosis Is A Good Excuse For Selfishness. It's on my jumbie's #1 fan profile, which is where most of my new writing is. I only use this one for things i'd rather not have my friends read, especially that boy who screwed me over...even though we still talk. so this is like my home away from home.

 

it's only three weeks until my graduation! then i'll be out of hell school forever...and then stuck at home...with my psycho parents...great. i so need a job. well, i have to get a job anyway so i can afford to move to Texas in January. I got accepted to an internship at HM Magazine. I'm so excited for it. I can't wait to go there. But it'll be so weird and i'm definitely nervous about being alone in a state i know nothing about. I'll only be a couple months over 18....

but anyways to the present day. my mom was being crazy yesterday. she has this annoying habit of sending me mean text messages and making me cry at school. yesterday morning, she asked me if i stole money from her. which i have never done before. i said no, and then she started questioning me how i had enough money to buy some clothes at ross. she apparently thought i pocketed money from the garage sale we had THREE WEEKS AGO. I was angry that she had even asked me, as if that's something i would ever do. So i get to school and she starts pestering me (through text messages, mind you) about how i have an attitude. so i text back saying, well i'm sorry, i have a massive headache, i'm tired, and my mother just asked me if i stole her money. Hence my irritation. This is what she text back (word for word) : k- well instead of turning your anger on me- try looking deeper & wondrin why we would even mention it & think about THAT 4 a second- ummm the way you've acted A LOT over the past few months 2wards us? hmm- pretty sad for me as a parent to even be in the position to "wonder" don't u think? so I could do what you're doing & have a huge attitude & go "i'm tired, my back hurts, and i just had to ask my daughter if she took money- hence my excuse" poor me- look deeper than the selfish outside crust juli- or life is gonna suck bigtime for u when you are on your own

So yeah that's my mother. Don't get me wrong, i love both her and my dad, and they've done an amazing job of raising me. But this past year, i have went through so much crap that they know nothing about because i don't trust them anymore. but that's a huge story. if you want to know a little bit more check out my book Tis Better To Be Loved?.

Luckily, i totally bullshitted her with an i'm sorry that i didn't mean. then she was all nice and said i could stay the weekend with my cousin. thank god. i swear the woman's bipolar.

school's gonna end in like 5 minutes. then i get to go to Mariah's. I gotta go download me some more Blood On The Dance Floor songs, which is kinda like my guilty pleasure band. Because, being who i am, the Christian girl, this band has really horrible lyrics, but i love Dahvie Vanity and the songs are hilarious and catchy. i'm so going to hell. but then, my parents have already told me that, numerous times this year.

 

so this has been juli, your neighborhood christian w***e...

signing off

 

....

 

now

Reviews

[UpComesDown]

heh... i love the ending... i so need to talk to you soon because we havent talked in forever and a day...

[These Haunted Hallways]

LoL, omg, what an entry! I totally loved this so much! And i really feel for u as well. Yea, i kno the feeling when it comes to parents and all, blech... But this was outstanding hun. Great job! :)

B.A.