Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
Detoxification: The finale

Detoxification: The finale

A Chapter by Kena Dawn Augustine
"

Finally...it's here..twists and a climax you may not guess...(it's recommended to read part 1 and 2)

"

       Veronica felt her grip tighten on the steering wheel. Her green eyes pierced an unseen force ahead of her, and she grinded her teeth. Yet it wasn’t anger she felt, but strength. She knew Kevin could see it too. He flashed her his nice white teeth, and patted her on the leg.

    “Things are going to work out,” he said, a warmth flooding through her from his comforting words.

    Veronica was cruising on South 405, just to kill time. They had a half hour until they planned to meet Wes at the gas station. Then call the cops on him and see him dragged out of the vehicle. At least that’s how she envisioned it. She felt optimistic, her blood was flowing, and having Kevin by her side was reassuring. He had this power to put her at ease. She knew that if she was alone, she would probably drive to Wes’ apartment, raving for him to give her back her car…or else. Then she would be slapped with handcuffs again. She welcomed that idea as much as a dip in a reptile infested swamp.

    Suddenly, she got a call. “Hello?” she asked hesitantly, seeing an unknown number.

    “Uh, yeah, hey…I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it out tonight. Have some other business to attend to.”

    “But we agreed to…Wes, this is my damn car! You need to give it back!”

    Kevin patted her leg, whispering for her to calm down.

    “Plus, I know what your plan was. It was to trick me into going out with you to dinner and then snatch the car away. Girl, you think I don’t know what you up to? Please….”

    “Why you playing these games on me Wes? You like to torture people?”

    “Me playing games? Look at you. Thinking you all slick with it. Anyway, gotta go.”

    The dial tone in Veronica’s ears made her feel heavy with doubt. She felt as if someone had drained all of her strength out of her body. She stopped at the shoulder of the road to cry. Tears had been so common in her life the past six months. As if they helped to drown the pain.

    Kevin embraced her in a hug after he unbuckled his seat belt. He pushed a strand of her auburn hair out of her eyes, looking into them deeply. “Veronica, I am so sorry. This guy is a total jerk. Hey…I got another plan.”

    Veronica looked up, drying her tears away, trusting in Kevin’s strength and ingenuity. He told her to drive to the local police station. She did just that.

 

***   After they discussed the plan, and drove up to the Everett police station, they ran into a cop car on the way.

    When Veronica rolled down her window, and saw it was a stern looking woman officer, she felt nerves constrict her breathing. Even being in the presence of another cop delayed her speech as she said, “My-my ex stole my car. We need help getting it back. He was supposed to pay me back…” she felt Kevin nudge her lightly in the stomach with his elbow. “Remember, we weren’t suppose to talk about payments,” he whispered in an irritated tone.

    To Veronica’s dismay, the officer said, “Payments? Oh, okay. That is something you need to take to small claim’s court. I can’t help you with that.”

     As she drove away, she looked over at Kevin who sighed deeply, resting his face in his palms. She had never seen him cry, but he looked as if he were about to. Instead, while breathing strength into himself again, he said, “drive to the gas station down the road.”

    “For what? I got a full tank. For chiclets and jerky?” Veronica replied, her mind feeling weary, as if she could break down any moment.

    “Just do it, please,” Kevin said exasperatedly.

 

***    When Veronica pulled up into the parking lot of the gas station, Kevin instructed her to call the cops and report a stolen vehicle. He stressed each word about three times in a row, so she wouldn’t mess it up this time.

    After she did this, she and Kevin sat in the car, waiting. They didn’t speak a word to each other. She didn’t know whether he was still mad at her, or if it was due to his splitting headache he had complained about.

    After what felt like three hours, a cop drove up beside them. She didn’t know if the long wait had to do with his investigation of a double homicide, or possibly a doughnut craving. Either way, he had a detached attitude, as if he were still thinking about whether he should have jelly or the sprinkled kind.

    “So it looks like you guys have a stolen vehicle situation?” The forty-something cop said, walking towards them. Kevin put his hand against Veronica’s chest to keep her from getting out of the car. He apologized to her for touching her breast. She actually thought he may have liked it.

    Kevin walked outside, telling the cop about the situation. The cop agreed to put out a report to the cops on duty for the evening, but he didn’t seem to be engaged in finding it for her. He left much quicker than he came, and Kevin and Veronica sat in the car with empty hopes.

    “They will get it back for you. They will get it back,” Kevin said, as if trying to reassure himself, stop the seed of denial from taking root.

    Suddenly, Veronica’s phone vibrated again. It was Wes.

    “You b*****d Wes. Just give me my damn car back.”

    “Come get it. It’s at my apartment. Cops will be waiting for you.”

    The memory of the handcuff incident where the cops threatened arresting her, broke through her mind like a shard of glass. Trying to retrieve her car would look like, to them, a crazy woman having mental delusions that it were her car. Plus, the cop wasn’t interested in helping them out anyway.

    “Don’t do this to me,” Veronica pleaded, breaking into tears. “Please.”

    Then she heard a woman’s voice in the background saying, “Wes, tell her to come over. She’ll get what she deserves.”

    “Whose that?” Veronica asked. “Your girlfriend? The one you cheated on me with? She can go to hell!”

    “Like I said, come on over and get the car.” Then he hung up.

 

***   On their second drive to the police station, this time to try it again, they both felt weary and heavy with doubt. Veronica’s belly ached with hunger, yet her mind was thinking less of food and more on getting her own car back.

    Kevin banged his fist against the steering wheel. He was driving this time. “I don’t understand why you just can’t get your car, in your name. What the hell? It’s your car.” Kevin tried not to raise his voice, he sounded more frustrated with the justice system than anything.

    For Veronica, it was not just about the car, it was more about gaining control over Wes. She showed progress by stopping her obsessed phone calls, but now she needed the last thing back he had of her’s. Plus, she didn’t make enough money at her current job to afford a car payment. She would have to get it possessed, which would ruin her credit. The acid in her stomach boiled at the thought.

    Kevin looked distressed. He ran his fingers through his dark silky hair, sweat on his brow. As Veronica popped one of her anxiety medications into her mouth, Kevin asked desperately, “Can I have one too?”

    ‘But Kevin, you don’t have any problems like me.”

    “Please.” She gave one to him, doubting the idea that he may not have problems.

    When they pulled up to the Seattle Police station, she let Kevin lead the way. He knew where to go, what to do, and she felt like a fish out of water. He was also schooled with the streets, living in East L.A most of his life. He had been shot at, gotten his clothes stolen just from walking down the street of his neighborhood. While she looked out at a lake and chirping birds from her bedroom window, he looked through iron bars. It was so unsafe in his neighborhood that nobody ever kept their valuables in their own homes. Luckily, he didn’t adopt that same attitude as the streets, while Wes, on the other hand, who spent his younger years in Compton, became victim to it, and molded to his environment. Veronica felt very safe next to Kevin.

    As they walked up to the police station, Veronica clutched Kevin’s arm. She could imagine he was smiling. When they got inside, Kevin told the cops through the bulletproof glass, the exact story they had rehearsed together the whole ten-minute trip. Veronica saw her car key missing from her apartment a week ago, a day after her ex came over. Then, when they parked the ’98 Honda Prelude in Seattle on first and pike, to go to the Mediterranean restaurant, the car was missing. This happened that same night, and they were stranded.

    Veronica stood by Kevin, as if she were an extra appendage.

    “Do you have a receipt?” the cop asked Kevin. She was actually rather nice. She had a warm and inviting face, as if she had just shared a joke with some of her fellow officers right before they came. Veronica imagined they probably had a box of krispy kreme’s in the back. The thought made her stomach growl.

    “No, we paid cash,” Kevin replied. She wrote some things down on a paper. It made Veronica a little nervous.

    “Who picked you guys up?”

    “Her friend, Frank.” Frank was a guy she knew who lived about two hours away.

    The conversation went on for about another ten minutes, and after she had them sign the paperwork she said, “Okay, we have the report. The police will be on the lookout for your car. And remember, if you do find it, do not, I repeat, do not, get in the car and drive away. Call the cops immediately. Because if you do, you could get pulled over and arrested.”

    “For driving our own car?” Veronica asked. She felt Kevin nudge her side.

    “If there’s a stolen vehicle report out, it does not matter whose driving. But we do want to get your car back.”

    “What’s the likelihood?” Veronica asked again.

    “Most cases we do find the cars that are stolen.” She handed them the copy of the report. “Now go home and relax. We will call you if we find it.”

    The word if nicked at her soul. She felt she may even crush completely. Kevin, who tended to be good at feeling her emotions, grasped her hand in his. It was strong, and felt rather nice, even though she had not touched another man since Wes. Kevin’s touch felt different. There was something special to it.

    “They are going to get him Veronica,” he said confidently as they walked hand in hand out of the police station. “And when they do, he will be handcuffed and dragged to jail, and what an embarrassment that will be.”

    Veronica listened to his words, as if they nourished her famished appetite.

    “Jack in the box?” Kevin asked, as if he could read her mind. Or maybe he heard the bear in her stomach. Either way, he said, “I’ll treat you.”

 

The following Thursday

 

    The longest Friday evening of Veronica’s life, had passed six days before. She remembered the cop’s words in her mind, “We will call you if we find your car.”

    She looked at her phone every single day, even kept it by her side when she showered or slept, and it never once rang. She fantasized about the scenario with Wes, and how it would play out. What he would look like; giving that calm ‘I’m too cool for my own shoes’ look. His homeboys would probably be in the back, smoking some weed, and maybe she would be lucky, and he would be incarcerated for auto theft and drug possession. But each day that passed by she felt the reality slipping down her watery mind. What bogged her psyche the most was the daunting nature of the whole situation, which she wanted to deny. What was the likelihood of him driving past a cop at that exact moment? What if he did drive by a cop, and they were looking down, and didn’t see him, or recognize her car as the stolen vehicle? They probably had thousands of other stolen vehicles on their lists. It could be weeks, or months, or years……….

    Veronica dropped her mug full of hot tea, and it shattered on her kitchen floor. Some of it splashed on her pant legs, the hot liquid burning her skin. She hopped into a cold shower, and still began to think, her mind like a racecar driving to its deadly fate.

    She had told her parents about the situation just a few days before. Although they were not surprised, considering they warned her about him, although she was too stubborn for her own good, they wanted to help. They offered her their advice, but distanced themselves, and Veronica knew this was for the best. After all, she got herself in this situation in the first place. She knew that God sometimes worked through others, but when they had originally warned her about Wes, she created a shield from any advice to leak into her.

    “Remember, you want him to think that you don’t care about the car. Ignore him from now on. Then, after a month or so, go and call the cops again.” Her dad had told her this on the phone Tuesday evening, and it stayed imbedded in her mind.

    Veronica knew he was right. She had deleted Wes’ number out of her phone. She didn’t even have the urge to talk to him, as if God was working through her, guiding her to a new awareness.

    Her strength was more evident that evening.

    She didn’t feel afraid, for the first time ever, and not even a tear escaped her tear duct. She was tired of crying any more tears for that pathetic loser.

    As she drove to her therapist’s office at around six pm, that Thursday evening, she glanced at her phone, seeing no missed calls from Kevin. Actually, for the past week she hadn’t spoken to him, and she had wanted it that way.  He pronounced his feelings for her, and even tried to touch his lips to her’s. She didn’t want to be a prude, but she had to leave, and tell him she needed some space. She knew Kevin was helping her out of friendship and a genuine concern, but sometimes she questioned his real motives.

   Despite the absence of Kevin by her side that night, she felt alive. A surge of energy ran through her like a lightning bolt, far surpassing anything she had felt in the past three weeks.

    After she arrived to her therapist’s office, they went through the same old same old. The how are you doing’s, the how are you medications working, or the Freudian diagnosis of her decrepit state. Either way, she squeezed the rubber stress ball so tight she felt it was going to go fly through the window at any moment.

    The last words out of Veronica’s lips were, “I am getting my car back. I will.”

    The therapist shook her head, as if feeling sorry for a puppy trying to get a bone while locked in a cage. “Are you really sure you will? I don’t know.”

    “I will,” Veronica replied, her therapist’s kryptonite words making her fire burn stronger. “And I’m getting it back. Tonight.”

    The therapist shook her head, and it made Veronica angry, but just all the reason to prove to her. If she didn’t drop her first.

    Veronica’s cell phone buzzed, alarming her. A text came in. She read it curiously. It read:

    SO ARE YOU READY TO COME AND GET YOUR CAR OR WHAT? I AM READY TO GIVE IT BACK.

    It was Wes. She felt maybe the ignoring him scenario worked to her benefit.  As she was about to call him, she stopped in her tracks. She stood five feet from her car door.

    Wait a second. This is a trick. Wes surrendering the car is like an evil king surrendering his kingdom. For him, it is more about the manipulative game, the cat and mouse chase, the spinning me in circles. Veronica steadied herself, as if she really was dizzy in deep thought and confusion.

    Veronica drove towards her apartment, tossing ideas around in her head. She felt she was at risk of an accident with how preoccupied her mind was; not paying attention to the road, but on a million plans and scenarios that bombarded her mind. Then Wes texted her again:

    SO ARE YOU GOING TO COME OVER AND GET IT OR CALL ME OR WHAT?

    She ignored him, heeding to her dad’s advice. Veronica knew this made Wes confused, because it was not in her nature to pretend he didn’t exist. After all, he was the best at that role.

    This was the prelude of what was to come.

    She was going to get her car back, that night.

    But it was under her own rules.

 

***    As she got closer to Wes’ apartment complex, she knew that parking in the parking lot would be a complete mistake. After all, the cops weren’t just trying to scare her when they taunted her with handcuffs again, and Wes knew this. He really was just a coward, sitting in his apartment, with the safety of the police officers on his side. But she knew this was all going to change that quiet and serene evening.

    She parked her car about a couple blocks away. She had on a large trench coat, with a hoody underneath. She covered her head, trying to look conspicuous. She felt like a spy in a heated detective case. It gave her a rush of adrenaline. Yet at the same time, fear shook through her. She felt wobbly, as if she could topple over. Her heart hammered in her chest and blurred her vision.

    She began to dial 911 from her cell phone.

    “911 what’s your emergency?”

    “Yes, yes, I found my stolen vehicle at my exe’s. It’s here right now. Um…the police told me to call the cops first before anything else.” She spoke in a rapid pace, and frantically. She could barely give the dispatcher the address. The dispatcher sounded irritated and said, “Mam, if you keep getting too excited I can’t understand you.”

    Why does she seem mad at me? Did Wes get her involved too? Veronica shook her head, knowing it was her anxiety and debilitating state of paranoia getting the best of her. She had all the reason to feel that way after what Wes put her through.

    The dispatcher told her that cops would be there in less than ten minutes. When they arrived, her mind raced with all kinds of ideas. Will they not help me? Will they believe Wes’ lies, is this really going to work? However, despite it all, these two male cops, one a handsome one in his mid-20’s, and the other in his mid-40’s, seemed to be on her side. They had a stolen vehicle report in their hands. The report represented a golden ticket to the factory of freedom, to Veronica’s mind. The fact that someone finally cared gave her goose bumps.

    As they walked up the stairs to Wes’ apartment, Veronica felt her legs wobble uncontrollably. She was so frightened that he was going to lie, say he never stole the car, they would look up the report on the night she was handcuffed. Call her a criminal rather than the victim she was. She felt as vulnerable as a little child, although just minutes before she felt strong as a lion.

    After they knocked at Wes’ door, and he came out, it was if the role was reversed. Being the great actor that he was, he pulled a perplexed look, and she could imagine he was acting as cool and calm and casual as the brother he said he was. The cops had told Veronica to hang in there, they would see if he would hand over the key, as if it were his choice, instead of a demand. That made her angry. Either way, anger seemed to take a backseat to her crippling anxiety. Even as she saw Wes enter his apartment, come right out, give some kind of paper to them, she felt he was about to sabotage her. She pleaded in her head to let it all be over.

     Wes stood at his apartment door on the second floor, as the two kind cops walked down the stairs. They came over to her, showing her a paper. It was a similar copy to the contract she had written about Wes paying her back for the studio equipment she loaned him. Which he had signed, along with her’s, right beside his. However, this one was made in some lab of a ten year old. It mentioned how the car and equipment were gifts, and then he had forged her signature, which worried her. However, the bogus contract was so immature she laughed in her head. It just reassured to her how pitiful her ex really was.

    “That’s a lie,” Veronica cried. “He made that up. That’s a lie!” She felt tears began to well up in her, and she tried hard to hold them back.

    The handsome young cop took the contract, and ripped it in half. “You are probably right. Here is the key to your car.” He handed it to Veronica, and it felt as if he had placed the Holy Grail in her palm. She could almost her a choir singing, “Hallelujah.” Now she wanted to cry, but more out of relief.

    “Please don’t get too emotional though miss,” he said. “Your ex has to go and get some stuff from the car, that he has, and I do not want you two causing a scene in the neighborhood or anything.”

    Veronica nodded, hoping her other half would stop her from driving a rock into his skull. As he was escorted to the car, he walked with his usual swagger, as if he were light on air. His large feet were clad in top notch athletic shoes, probably a gift from his current sugar mama, not her. His confidence, tonight, however, seemed flawed. A big sign: LOSER flowed behind him. Veronica held in her words, to the cop’s discretion, but chose to stare him down like a laser sawing through bones. He didn’t seem to feel it.

     As he was filling up his empty cardboard box with his filthy stuff, the handsome cop leaned over to her with a yellow paper and clipboard in his hands. “You want to press charges?”

    Veronica felt like she were in a dream. After all, she caught him in his own game. He lost this time. It felt so surreal. She also knew that her and Kevin sort of made up a stolen vehicle incident, so she could get what the cops, for whatever reason, refused to help her with. After all, they had better things to attend to then sympathizing with a possible ruined credit history. But these particular officers on duty must have been special picked for her that night. She felt blessed.

    “Um…no.” She said it again, “No. All I really wanted was rightfully belonged to me. No need to press charges.” Somewhere inside her mind was kicking her, but she didn’t want to get in trouble in case his homeboys supported his alibis. She had already lost numerous hours of sleep, and went through a whole bottle of Tums; she didn’t need anymore mental anguish. She just wanted to take her car, leave, and shut the door on this horrible creature for good.

    But then something happened.

    “Hey, Officer Hardley, I think we found something.”

    Veronica turned around, seeing the older officer, Officer James, holding a bag full of marijuana. Wes had an emotion Veronica had never seen in him before: fear. It made her tingle inside.

    Officer Hardley stepped closer to Wes. “Hey, this young lady here cut you off the hook today, now what are you doing with drug possession here? This is illegal.”

    Veronica saw Wes’s eyes transform into little slits, as the Grinch does on Christmas.

    “This is Veronica’s car, not mine. I have nothing to do with this.” He threw up his hands, his act beginning to weaken the officer’s once adamant judgments.

    “He does have a point,” Officer James replied. “We need to take them both to the station for questioning.”

    “Hey, do I look like someone who does drugs? I have not even touched one in my life! This is crazy…” Veronica felt dizzy. Bile tried to rise up in her esophagus. She could not believe how things were turning out. She looked over and saw Wes smirking at her when the Officer’s looked away. She mouthed some profanities to him.

    As Officer Hardley began to lead Veronica to his cop car, a woman’s voice shattered the thick desolation of the night.

    “Hey, officer’s, let her go.”

    Veronica looked over, and saw an overweight woman, with tangled brown hair, come down the steps of Wes’ apartment. She had hideous fashion sense, clad in oversized jeans and a fitted button up jacket, that didn’t suit her well.

    “Sara, get back in the apartment. What the hell you doing out here?”

    “You know her?” Officer James asked Wes, one handcuff still attached to his wrist.

    “Yes, she is my girlfriend.”

    And that’s what you cheated on me with? She wanted to almost laugh, but she held it in, knowing it wouldn’t help the situation one bit.

    Sara came closer, not afraid of the cops one bit as she began yelling her hot fire at Wes. “You b*****d. Guess what? I go to my savings account yesterday, and you cleaned it out dry. I was saving it for my baby, and you took the whole fifteen hundred out of there you piece of s**t.”

    Officer Hardley told her to quiet down, in respect of the neighbors, although most of them had their heads out the their windows already, as if watching some sort of blockbuster hit. She wondered if she should throw in some popcorn. She chuckled, somehow finding it inside her for the first time in a while.

    “Officer, this is Wes’ stash. Veronica don’t do things like that.”

    Veronica hated hearing this Jabba the Hut say her name, but at the same time, she was helping her a lot.

    “Okay, well young man, you are coming down to the station with us.” Officer James put the other handcuff on Wes, and Veronica soaked it all in, the sight a fantasy come true. They put him in the cop car. As Officer James pulled away she saw the last look in Wes’ eyes. They were dark, held demons, and almost spelled murder. He looked at Sara the same way.

    “Yeah, Karma’s a b***h ain’t it,” Veronica said, knowing he couldn’t hear, but it sounded good to her ears anyway.

    Sara turned towards her, and despite how she looked far away, her face was rather decent. She had large dark brown eyes and big lips.

    “Hey, I am sorry for doing that to you.”

    “It’s okay. Thanks for helping me out tonight. I’m not mad at you. In fact, I felt sorry for you. Actually for the both of you.”

    As Veronica walked away, she could almost see Sara’s pouty expression. Veronica then hopped into her ’98 Honda Prelude, welcoming it back in her arms, embracing it in a hug. Officer Hardley waved to her, as he was finishing up his paperwork. “Hey, take it easy now.”

    Veronica pulled away, trying not to peel rubber, feeling freer than she had ever felt in a long time. She looked up into the midnight blue November sky as she had done two weeks ago, the night of the handcuffing incident. It remained murky, with no touch of sparkle, but this time she didn’t feel drab. She probed the night sky, as if trying to find God, thanking him for everything he had done for her that evening. Love filled her bosom, and tears of joy washed through her.

 

***   On her drive back home, she noticed she had missed a call from Kevin. On her voicemail he said he missed her, and he was sorry, and wanted to make it up to her. She drove towards his house.

    When Kevin stood at the doorway, watching Veronica pull up in her ’98 Honda Prelude, his mouth dropped to the ground like one of those cartoon characters.

    He ran towards her. “How’d you do it? You..you didn’t call me or nothing.”

    “Nope. I told myself I was going to get it back. And I did. That is it.”

    “Wow,” Kevin said with a sparkle in his eyes.

    Veronica told him the whole story, from when the second rate therapist told her she had no chance, to when she called 911, to when his nasty girlfriend came back to save her.

    Kevin clapped his hands in joy, jumping off the ground. “Ha! Ha! See, I knew it. I knew he would get his.” Kevin paused, and then he said, “I am sure Wes will love Bubba in cell 32, he’ll love Wes’ pouty lips.”  Kevin chuckled.

    “Or we can bribe inmates with a truck load of top ramen, to use Wes as a punching bag, or do whatever Hostel like creative things they want.” Veronica and Kevin erupted in laughter.

    Then he embraced Veronica in a hug, and it felt so warm and safe. She no longer felt an appendage to Kevin. She was one; with herself. Independent and fierce.

    She escaped Wes’ fiery furnace before her could burn her alive. She did not need him anymore. She got back the last thing he took from her. Including her power, and confidence, and strength, which he held in his hands for too long.

    Her name was Veronica Hazen. And she knew life held so much for her.

    She leaned in for the kiss. Kevin kissed her with so much passion and devotion she felt light as air. Nothing she had ever felt before. She didn’t hesitate, she welcomed it.

    As they embraced each other, looking into each other’s eyes, the rest of the world grew still, and Kevin said, “Maybe you will reconsider being my girl?”

    “I will think about it, I have to give it some more time.”

    “Okay. Well I can wait as long as you want.”

    As Veronica head into Kevin’s apartment, he said, with his arm around her, “How about we watch some television and pop some popcorn?”

    “Okay. As long as it’s not CSI or Judge Judy or Perry mason reruns. I am tired of being a detective. I don’t want to think anymore! Aaaaaah!”

    “Well how about this? How about I give you a massage, feed you grapes, and play Enya for you?”

    She smiled, suddenly feeling as if a crown was placed on her head. “Sure!”

    Her weakness had been her cripple

    Her obsession her demise….of her sanity.

    But now her frailty was conquered by strength.

    Her obsession was replaced by self-love.

    And she found it in her heart to love again.

 

THE END…

  

   

 



© 2008 Kena Dawn Augustine


Author's Note

Kena Dawn Augustine
Man...I was so happy to see all the people who really enjoyed this story, and were anticiapting this last part. JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW, I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MET ALL OF YOU!!! writing had been just for me, now it's also something to share. And that feels so good. Thanks!

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Good twists. It keeps on a good realistic note that shows it has not been easy. The two characters were intelligent and yet had their emotions cause them from making the right decisions. Veronica showed that in part 1, and had its crippling effects until part 3, but in this part, she was able to work on overcoming her emotions and analyze the situations, at some point, with Kevin as well.

Your ending was done well as well. Good closing remarks, I can see the curtains closing down, and applause from the audience after.

Good form, good choice of words, well painted imagery, well imparted message.

A very good piece.

You can even make a part 4 (a prequel on how Wes got Veronica entangled with him), it can work :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I'm so glad Veronica got her strength back......that's even more important then the care. You know how to put words together. Well written!

Posted 15 Years Ago


An interesting read with lot of twist & bends ... and the tension of the main character,Veronica keeps a reader glued in... up to end .... and u finished with a nice ending ...

Her weakness had been her cripple
Her obsession her demise�.of her sanity.
But now her frailty was conquered by strength.
Her obsession was replaced by self-love.
And she found it in her heart to love again.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Kia
I'm glad i didn't have to wait...lol....i was like...oh i hope she gets over him..and i liked how the "new girlfriend" helped another girl in need. How she saw him (Wes) as a loser and sided with the innocent instead of defending the wrong doer. Too bad life isn't always like that, but that is the beauty of writing. You can create anything you want and get lost in it. Wonderful job.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved the twist and drama. Veronica had so much confidence by the end she was ever man's dream. I like her devotion, her self control and even the stillness to push Kevin aside until she did what it was that only she could...something for herelf....The ending was well scripted:
Her weakness had been her cripple
Her obsession her demise�.of her sanity.
But now her frailty was conquered by strength.
Her obsession was replaced by self-love.
And she found it in her heart to love again.

Thank you for the wonderful read and I look forward to your stories in the near futures.


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I see that writing is a strong passion of yours and it shows in your eye for detail. I think that I could not write something like this (short attention span) and admire you ability to sustain a plot. There were a few things that threw me for a loop. Some details were lost to me but not enough to dramatically affect the plot. It was intersting to see the progression of the struggles of your main character and how she overcame her personal insecurity. Thank you for inviting me to read. I enjoyed your story.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Pj
Gosh I hate Wes and love Kevin. You make the characters so touchable! It's like I fall into the story and become whatever you want me to be- angry, sad, happy etc.
Love it!

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

very well written story love the twist in this and ending is really good too.... great job on this one....

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Ooyyyy! I'm somewhat disappointed that the movie in my head has ended mmmmmm ... :(

What a great story! Girl you've done it - even better than I could have ever imagined. You are for sure one smart writer. I immensely enjoyed this, like I said movie that you inspired to play before my inner eye.
The twists and turns are just delicious, and so near to reality- what made it the more suspenseful and nerve-racking.

A fabulous story! Bravo!

Now I'm looking forward to a new one of yours ... :)



Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

wow! that was alot to read..but i did enjoy reading it though. i like the many twists you had on this and i can undestand why veronica is all messed up in the head!! damn guys they are always messing with the head!
it feels like a movie in a story like i can picture whats going on in my mind. good work on this one...i liked it as well as all your other ones.

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Good twists. It keeps on a good realistic note that shows it has not been easy. The two characters were intelligent and yet had their emotions cause them from making the right decisions. Veronica showed that in part 1, and had its crippling effects until part 3, but in this part, she was able to work on overcoming her emotions and analyze the situations, at some point, with Kevin as well.

Your ending was done well as well. Good closing remarks, I can see the curtains closing down, and applause from the audience after.

Good form, good choice of words, well painted imagery, well imparted message.

A very good piece.

You can even make a part 4 (a prequel on how Wes got Veronica entangled with him), it can work :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

514 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 10, 2008
Last Updated on August 12, 2008


Author

Kena Dawn Augustine
Kena Dawn Augustine

Seattle, WA



About
Writing is my catharsis, my way to bridle my emotions. I am an intense person and being an artist, I see life through a different set of lenses, and many can not comprehend my view on life. Kena me.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..