Encounter

A rough draft of a chapter I had to write for school.

Encounter

 

"Allen?" I hear Master Satochi call. "Get out of bed."

I stand up without opening my eyes, knowing I'll be blinded when I do.

They say people with blue eyes are more sensitive to light - which leaves me at a disadvantage. I slap myself awake, then extend one of my arms out to feel around the room. After tripping over a loose floorboard I end up crawling across the floor.

When I open my eyes the light hits me so hard I can't see, but I stand and walk over to my wooden chest of drawers anyway and look for clothes.

After my eyes adjust I dress myself in brown trousers and a white dress shirt and walk over to the mirror mounted on one of the brick walls of my room.

It’s lopsided, which constantly irritates Master because of his obsessive nature. That’s why I’ve been putting off fixing it; it’s always amusing to watch him twitch in aggravation.

While I'm fastening a pair of braces onto my pants he comes in.

  "When you've finished admiring yourself would you care to join me at the markets?" He asks with a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye. "Town Square is finally re-opening today."

  "If you were as perfect as me you'd spend as much time in front of a mirror." I answer.

He knows I'm joking. I'm nothing special, but he still seems a little hurt. Master hasn't had the best run with women, and they don't seem to leave me alone.

  "Touché," he mutters "Now shall we go?"

I nod. “In a few minutes.”

He leaves me alone to finish dressing and read the paper, which has been a daily ritual of his since we first met a few years ago.

I continue fixing myself up in the mirror, brushing my crimson hair and making sure my sleeves cover my scars, then I walk downstairs to meet with Master Satochi.

The wooden staircase creaks as I walk down, which I can’t help but be creeped out by, I’ve heard stories of ghosts living in our apartment prior to us moving in.

Master is waiting at the bottom of the stairs with my coat, so I take it from him and open the front door, letting him pass through first.

As we're walking I think about what the new Town Square will look like. The original has been closed for months now because of the Great Arashi, a huge storm that hit Kyushu, Japan.

  “What’s so special about the re-construction?”  I ask. I’ve seen the new Town Square being advertised in the paper over the past couple of weeks, but by the looks of it, nothing much has changed. Master simply shrugs at me, probably too lazy to put thought into an answer. I’m about to nudge him in the ribs, but I decide not to out of respect for him. He’s been a little out of it lately. I was about to speak again, but I was distracted by smoke coming out of a small hole in the ground, I eye it for a little while before deciding it is probably nothing and I keep walking alongside Master.

***

 

OCTOBER 25, 1979

 

It’s cold in the hospital room. We are three days into the lockdown and no contact with the outside world is allowed. The kitchen had been destroyed, so the only food available is anything patients have stored or stolen. I am only here to visit my friend Mei, who apparently has bi polar disorder that needs treating. I haven’t noticed anything different about her though.

Most of the nurses have been killed by the gas fire that broke out prior to the storm. But the remaining staff tell us we needn’t worry, the hospital can withstand anything the ‘storm’ throws at it.

The room is small, with a low ceiling, and two lights built into it. There is also a bunk bed which Mei and I are sharing. It’s made from steel, and rattles every time the wind passes through our room, threatening to collapse on us.

  “Mei?” I whisper. “Mei?”

I shake her by the shoulders to try to get a response, but she just rolls onto her stomach and moans at me. Now that I know she’s awake I ask her,

  “What are we going to do after this is over?”

She sits up, takes my hand and whispers “I don’t know, but whatever it is I’ll do it with you.”

I smile and run my fingers through her long blonde hair, “I'm going to go look for some thicker linen. You must be in pain.”

After she nods her approval I press a kiss on her forehead and head for the door.

Before I leave I get one last glance at her, hoping with everything in me that she'll still be here when I get back.

Author's Note

Interested in all feedback.

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

I'm curious to see how the story evolves. I will agree with Bryan below that setting is needed to really make the opening scene come to life. I'm not sure what ties the first part with the second part. I'm assuming it's a flash back, but it's unclear as to whose flash back it is.
I will say that the second part in 1979 is written very well though.

Keep the ink flowing! =)
Aaron

[Samuel Dickens]

Excellent. It deserves an "A", so I hope that's what you got on it. There may be a few commas missing and a typo or two, but it's really quite good. (Oh, you did use "feat" intead of "feet") Now, you must continue it.

[Phoebe Kingsley]

Thanks :) And yeah I did get an A. I'll go over and do some spellchecking.

[Bryan]

I liked it. Perhaps you could describe the setting more in the beginning, besides the light... It may give the reader a better feel for the story. Sometimes setting adds reality to every aspect of a story. Well done!

[Phoebe Kingsley]

Thanks, I'll work on that.

[krish]

thanks to update me....
nice one...
i liked.

[Phoebe Kingsley]

Thank you!