my other half

 

My other half

I was born as a half. As I slowly grew and got older, small notches and pieces were conformed into me. Even as I progressed I never truly found my other half, until 5^th grade. You were the left half of my brain, the peanut butter to my jelly. And for a long time that's how we stayed. People came and went, became little extras to our sandwich of a friendship. Years went by and we rarely fought, we only became closer. High school hit and we were still holding on to each other tight. You had always been my security, the one I would go to when I was sad and needed a shoulder to cry on. You were one of the only people who could make me laugh until I cried. The girl who I went to when I had something exciting to say. Your were the other half of my memories, and the map of happy times and tragedies through this small town. As sophomore year summer hit, our school books turned into a place to tear up weed, our juice boxes turned into half vodka, and our lollipop turned into cigarettes. We were still close though, for a time drugs seemed to bring us closer. We would hate our parents and their “fucked up” rules together. We were there for each other when nothing else seemed to make sense. This phase was one that soon faded. For me. Things didn't all happen at once but eventually became noticeable. You stopped laughing at our jokes and fooling around became “to cool” for you. I knew you were into drugs but it didn't seem that bad. Then through the school halls I would hear about the pills being popped in the bathroom and the weed being sold in the hallways. I knew you were involved but it didn't really bother me. You became friends with a different group. You were the new girl in the group of the druggies. The new girl was always interesting and exciting. Someone to buy from you and make you more money, someone to smoke you down or light up with you when you were all alone. But that's all the relationships in the groups of druggies were good for. Another person to smoke and pop pills with. Soon you were addicted. Hanging out with us didn't seem important to you anymore. You changed. Became a new person. Your half no longer puzzled into my half anymore. Your half became a half of all its own. Because of the drugs that filled your lungs like balloons and the alcohol that used your veins as water slides, you became a deranged, cold, unhappy, loveless half. Who will never again perfectly fit into the puzzle of our friendship.