Tired of Being Strong

Sometimes we just need a break from being the strong one...

My thoughts are scattered on the breeze

Blowing a million directions across the seas

Salty drops of rain unsure of which way to fall

I am trapped in a reality where time does not stop.

Yet, I stand frozen; waiting

For the alteration of my life

 

As these words appear I recognize my soul

Events have been set in motion irrevocably altering my existence

It’s like drowning

One minute I’m eerily calm

As if I’ve accepted the bitter end Fate has served me

The next I'm waving my arms

Flailing madly about like an angry little red flag

Begging for someone to shelter me from this hurricane

 

It never made any sense

I’m always supposed to be The Strong One

And yet, when I say that

You look at me as if I’m an idiot

Doesn’t everyone deserve to relish in a nervous break down?

Emotion is food for the soul

But I’ll never be able to show the world the real me

I can’t reveal the girl who lurks beneath the surface

 

If only the truth were known

My façade is full of creases and crevasse hidden from the world

But, if they knew how imperfect I really was

I would no longer be indestructible

I’d be ordinary

To always be strong is a perilous and a lonely path

I wonder, did I carve it for myself or did God sculpt it for me?

 

If I put on my running shoes and run as far as I can

Would I outrun the assault of my demons?

Would the pounding of my feet eradicate the pain buried in my soul?

The Angel once told me, I couldn’t escape life

Free will or something like that

So I stare into the abyss and challenge it to swallow me whole

But it will never take me

I taste too much like the life I cling to

 

The mountain seemingly too big to climb

That’s the pinnacle of my objective

This monster will be just another one that I slay

But today

Just today

I want to lay my head down on a pillow so soft

And feel the tears leave my eyes

I want to be angry

 

 

Because I’m tired of being strong.

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[SereneNSassySoul]

As I read your words, I saw pieces of my life. I've been wondering why I was chosen to be "THE" strong one; why those around me seem to get "time off". It's a roller coaster...some days up, some day down and I seem to have no middle point; extreme of either side is where I seem to dwell. Your words spoke to me and you know I think I will actually give myself tonight off! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts...your words.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you for reading and for the review. Cheers to a night off!

[rhythm&blues]

I saw this title and it called to me! I relate to this piece so much, a fine piece, enjoyed you sharing your feelings.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you. It's a nice feeling when words reach the soul.

[rhythm&blues]

I understand this one more than I care to admit, the fact that you can say admittedly you want to be angry, I need to arrive there too.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I can relate to this. Being the breadwinner, the one who always try to fix everything in the family, the one who sacrifice, the one who strive more for the good of others. It's some somewhat exhausting!
That's right. We need a break.
Nice release. :)

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you :)

[Angi]

'But I’ll never be able to show the world the real me
I can’t reveal the girl who lurks beneath the surface' Oh, but I just caught a glimpse!

[Kristin Lee]

A small fragment perhaps :) Thank you for being so perceptive.

[Astro]

Oh my sweet Atlas-like friend. It`s not the revealing of oneself that breaks us down, it`s realizing we should have done it long ago. Heartfelt and human are your words, penned so personally, but felt universally.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you. That's truly a beauitful compliment laced in well received knowledge. I appreiate it.

[Astro]

My pleasure.

[Acucena G.]

its what happens to me sometimes , well done

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you for reading, I'm glad so many can relate to this one!

[Acucena G.]

My pleasure

[icelandicblue]

This is an excellent poem on the heaviness of the strong. What is apparent to the outside is often at complete odds with the internal struggle. The words that shouted to me were these:

To always be strong is a perilous and a lonely path
I wonder, did I carve it for myself or did God sculpt it for me?

Sometimes God really does give us more than we can bear.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much for the positve praise! And yes, sometimes the path we choose, or the path we are give is very difficult in deed. But, it's what we reap from the journey that matters. That's why I think it's ok to take a break, once in a while :)

[Frieda P]

I live in your words, and I've put on my running shoes too, running as fast as I can...oh, brother, can I relate. Your words resonated in my bones, they're still vibrating, good write!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much. I love it when people can relate :)

[Frieda P]

Lol misery loves company & all that jazz ;-) My pleasure.

[Rita L. Sev]

Your poem taps into a universal feeling. While we all want to be strong, we also don't want to always have to be. Good write!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you Rita

[AlexValkyrie]

Very well written. Good job. :)

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you