PORPHYRO AND MADELINE IN THE CLEAR

09 ?? 01

i asked you

am i a lover or a madman
with my seething brains
and my animating eyes
that inject motion into sleep
and mold naked forms into fantasy

or am i a template for your machinations
staying the course because i believe
in leaving no union of minds untested on bodies
or forcing the face of one's dreams
on another's like a mask

but you said nothing
as if you were mocking your dreams
and challenging mine

Author's Note

Inspired by John Keats' "Eve Of St. Agnes"

"Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
More than cool reason ever comprehends."
-Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream" (Act 5, Scene 1)

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I wish I had something even remotely as intelligent to say about this piece as the piece itself...your work is wickedly smart, and I am so thrilled you shared this..."my animating eyes that inject motion into sleep and mold naked forms into fantasy" gave me a little shiver in my brain stem...fired up the old gray matter...loved it.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Kim, it makes me happy to know that I was able to inspire you to that degree :D

[Kelly Scheppers]

Now you know I love this! I was already blown away BEFORE I read your note. You have amazing skills, my friend, and I applaud you, most boisterously!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed this one Kelly, it means a lot :)

[Leigh]

Wow that's an inspired piece of writing. It needs no comment there is nothing to add, except, libraried

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much :)

[Frieda P]

Wickedly delicious, slurp! If I inhale too deeply I might get hurt here, wildly imaginative and genius! Kudos.....

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Frieda, anytime I can whet a reader's appetite, I am content :D

[Frieda P]

haha I might just come back for dessert! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

To paraphrase an old blues song, you are free to come into my kitchen anytime ;)

[Frieda P]

haha, i can't even tell you the things going through my head right now...and as long as you add olive oil and sea salt to that crazy concoction I'm so there! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm on it...I'll even have cold water if need be to keep the salt at bay ;)

[Frieda P]

LOL it's not the sea salt I'm worried about! ;-)

[Frieda P]

Think you made A.C. Clarke proud. ;)

[kublakhan27]

LOL Indeed ;D If I'm lucky, maybe he'll send me some of his subconscious..."My God, it's full of stars!" ;P

[Frieda P]

ha let me know if that happens, will ya? ;P

[kublakhan27]

Haha you have my word on that ;P

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Such harsh judgment, this and as to Keats, only a fleeting sidelong glance at a history meaningful only in that seething brain's fantasies. This is a contemporary petition for a common shared existence with loyal virtue; a purposeful interpretation that so bluntly longs for a future shared in all three human realms of being. Yet, I may have misinterpreted the work in its entirety. Yes?

[kublakhan27]

I'm always hesitant to disclose my mental state when writing a particular piece (mind you, it's obvious a in lot of cases anyway haha) but I'll answer it the way I answered gombeggar...St. Agnes was inspired by Romeo And Juliet, and I despise Romeo And Juliet with the purplest of passions, so it's inevitable that I will be jaded by any piece of art remotely linked to that play (except that song by Dire Straits...good song). Unlike that pair though, Keats' pair successfully elopes, but I get no happily-ever-after impression from them. Maybe it's the mere connection to R&J, maybe it's the fact that Porphyro is a glorified Peeping Tom, I'm not sure...maybe I wanna believe in a happy ending for this pair, but Keats gives me no real reason to do so, and I don't blame him for it...actually I'm grateful for it...I've grown tired of shaping fantasies...am I making sense? lol I just got back from hockey and my shoulders hurt :P

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

I think it's difficult for an author to not disclose their mental state when they write. It always seems to seep out in the choice of words, the imagery, the theme, etc.. We fool none, except perhaps ourselves. True, there was no happy ending in any of those; nor here it seems. Does Tom peep because he is curious or because he has some wiring crossed and derives pleasure from the scene? Surely just the act of peeping cannot be pleasurable for in that case Tom might stare at a rock an know bliss. I don't think you need a reason to write a happy ending; or something uplifting for that matter. You just need to convey the emotion(s) in some honest way to the majority of your target audience. Unless, of course, you hold your audience in some disdain and merely wish to mock them by a feeble attempt at "happy" writing. I suppose there is some mean pleasure to be derived in doing so but doesn't it put you at odds with the consideration of an honest sense of self? And yet if one is not honest and admits that what are they? Sometimes you write tumultuous works that belie any meaningful interpretation for a general readership. Not always, but sometimes. It is a curious juxtaposition of forces that you invoke, khan... more often than not.

You... play hockey? {blink} =8-*

[kublakhan27]

Oh no, I'd never treat an audience like that haha But there are no shortage of happy endings in movies and stories and all that, plus the fact that EVERY movie seems to have a lovie-dovie plot line attached to it makes my skin crawl (Lord Of The Rings is the example that always comes to mind first...there were no romantic elements in the novels, but they manufactured one for the movie...and Titanic, one of the greatest tragedies in human history was made into a love story with flying gestures and making out...just hand me a bucket and stand back) I've never decided what kind of intentions P really has in his way of doing things but when I apply my own personality/writing voice to it, it's sinister, so I guess in my version I'm kind of playing on the idea that M wasn't fond of it, but going with him was a means of picking her poison...I'd love to write happy endings or produce happy motifs if I could but when you have mood issues that are serious enough to be medicated, well you're just not gonna write happy stuff *shrug*

On a lighter note, yes I do play hockey and I'm a goalie, which for the record is a perfect position to play for a writer...you'd be amazed at the ideas you come up with when watching an entire game unfold before your eyes ;)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

I stand, taking one step backward, in amazement. Blink twice more... and offer you Sponge Bob's "Imagination Rainbow" (not for children under the age of 5) and my lunch money. {blink}

[kublakhan27]

All I can say to that is LOL :D

[gombeggar]

always there are questions left unanswered...must be leagues of them all over by now

[kublakhan27]

I have always wondered about the destiny of this pair...Keats' poem was inspired by Romeo And Juliet, and even though this pair successfully elopes in the end, I get no happily-ever-after vibe from them...then again, I hate Romeo And Juliet so maybe I'm jaded by anything even resembling it haha

[gombeggar]

well, romeo were dumbass kids...actually all the characters were dumbasses as i recall...but the wording was fantastic...as fer keat's i'm not well versed with him as i ought be

[kublakhan27]

Haha don't worry, this pair doesn't strike me as being any smarter, with the exception of Porphyro's voyeurism skills...he doesn't even bother with the balcony, he goes right for her closet...and watches her for a while :P

[gombeggar]

hehehehe...there's something to be said for straight forward even in the closet

[kublakhan27]

Haha that's true...