RISE, SHINE, AND FALL

10 15 13

I awoke with the want

to take a nap

The salient dawn did well to

cull and claw at my cognizance

like medicated taffy

Admirable is Apollo after all

Not the most approachable sibling

yet neither am I at times

In my time of only-childhood

the surroundings of a sunlit house

serenaded me on contact

with the threshold that locked down

the night in my bedroom

Days were like sand

from a shattered hourglass

funnelled into a container

of the future

Every morning was a vacuum

tending to the funnel with the grains

of possibility retrieved for

another cycle through the secret

we are spared of as children

until the vacuum as appliances

are wont to do

died

leaving us with adulthood

and a bowl of something

that reeks of ashes

Author's Note

This was a rushed piece, though given how few people read my stuff now, it's probably not worth a damn anyway...Smirnoff may or may not have helped my cause here...but having only posted one thing so far this month, I was desperate to get something out. I don't know, I may have to go back to this one.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**

[kublakhan27]

I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fact that we took our childhood for granted when we do reach adulthood. I think about the things you've mentioned here virtually every day. So glad it resonated with you. Thank you Lydia :)

[Strider Marcus Jones]

Days were like sand
from a shattered hourglass
funnelled into a container
of the future....

eaving us with adulthood
and a bowl of something
that reeks of ashes

Stunning imagery in this excellent poem from your sanctum core. Like the rhythm and phrasing. Into my library/favourites. 100/100

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend, your kind words mean everything.

[Jack...]

Steve, I strated reading this last night but was interupted...repeatedly, so I decided to wait until this morning when the office was empty and the sun had yet to rise...peace and quite afforded me the opportunity to take in this wonderful piece. Most good artists do not see themselves as much, the mirror hangs crooked when we peer in, you my friend can not see who or what you are, which is a fantastic, out of the box, creative genius.

"Days were like sand
from a shattered hourglass
funnelled into a container
of the future"

Who writes like that? You do, you see things as no one else does. You bring thoughts to our minds and visions to our inner eyes. Very nicely done my friend.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Jack, for making me smile and making my day with this review. You have no idea how grateful I am for your support.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

The first few lines captured me so deeply...truly. I have dealt with depression, and for me, there is no better way to describe that feeling than "waking up with the desire to take a nap"; to sleep away the day. I don't know why you have blemished confidence, my friend, your writing is amazing, even when you do something that is more linear in terms of metaphor. Not everything has to be "grand" to be good...this was simple, and the straight forward nature of it is what really made me take a breath and "feel". You are one of my favorite writers here, my friend...big fan of YOU!

[kublakhan27]

Where do I begin my friend? You are one of only a handful of friends here that can truly cheer me up with your reviews. Your support means the world, and I honestly don't know what I'd do or how awful I'd feel without it. The words just haven't been coming for me this month, and when bipolar and writer's block hit at the same time, it's just awful. I'm happy that you could relate to my words but sorry it had to involve this subject. Thank you as always for reading, and especially for understanding :)

[redflutterby]

Hmm...we realize just how painful adult life is and long to return to those never ending days. I'd love to just lay down and take a nap...but unfortunately never have the time. I might be in a better mood if I could!! Lol...

Sounds like your muse is being difficult...I know how it feels. ;-)x

[kublakhan27]

Perhaps I was subconsciously referring to that paradox we all go through. When we're kids, we can't grow up fast enough. When we grow up, we kick ourselves for not enjoying our childhood more, and ignoring those who told us we'd regret it when we were older. This is the most stubborn my muse has been in maybe the entire year, and she's taking my already hapless mood down with her. Don't worry, I rarely get that nap either haha Thanks for the support my friend :)

[Frieda P]

I've too much Tamiflu in my system to respond to this intelligently and it make much sense, always a deep and profound read from you Steve. I do know that feeling of waking up in that fashion, ready to pack it in before the day even begins. I'm going to read this one when my head clears and get back to you on it Benji. :-) x

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my dear friend, I had a feeling you could relate to how that feels, which I'm both grateful and sorry for. Take your time in reading any of my stuff, I want Mrs.R to feel better soon ;) x

[Frieda P]

Probably resonates more than I care to admit in my own mind Benji, I can't say I ever want to return to childhood memories, but I so get the ashen sheen of adulthood, you my friend, are amazing....not sure why you don't get that, I tell you all the time, perhaps some of these other good poets will convince you. ;-) x

[kublakhan27]

I thought this one may have the potential to resonate with you Mrs.R. I am hardly nostalgic when it comes to my childhood (even though the poem may suggest that) so I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. But you know your support and your friendship mean everything. I think it's what keeps me here sometimes, and I shudder to think how awful I would feel if I didn't have you and a few others here propping me up constantly. Depression and confidence just don't get along with each other, but you have a way of making me forget about that. I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday reading the reviews that have been left here ;) xo

[Frieda P]

If these didn't make you feel better, you were getting a real smack upside your head from Mrs R dearie...ha, at least maybe now you'll listen to someone else calling you a creative genius aside from me and you'll believe...say I believe Benji. ;-) xo

[Jack...]

Watch her, she swings a mean 2x4...trust me, I've been hit by it so much I have not been the same since.

[kublakhan27]

I believe Benji hahaha ;P No, I shouldn't be a smart-a*s with Mrs.R, especially when she's under the weather. She might just throw the 2x4 at me Jack haha Seriously though, thank you guys for all the support :)

[Frieda P]

Oh good I have you two together, one swap and it's done! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha Sounds like something from the three stooges ;)

[Jack...]

Remember my poem from yesterday, I'm good at ducking. :>

[Jack...]

So who is Larry and who is Curley...we already know who Moe is and where the hell is Shemp when you need him?

[Frieda P]

Lol Benji, I don't even wanna know which one you are....I know you are @ Brock, you've had to practice ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Well I kinda have Shemp's hair hahaha