Smiling Veins, Over Smothered Vain

Finally letting go of the person who hurt you the most, that you dearly cherished

It's so quiet here now.

I no longer feel your haunting abandonment creeping into my thoughts when my world silences itself.

The air I breathe is so surreal, surreal with a hint of blissful rest seeping through my veins

Making the corners of my mouth curve slightly upward as my eyes narrow and stare off, entranced by the thought.

The sound of my fingers hesitantly dancing across the dusty keyboard is a dim comparison to your laughter resounding in my sickened thoughts. My thoughts in which you have become less familiar.

You no longer bind them, consume them as if you were oxygen in the flesh.

You cannot begin to fathom how refreshing your absence is upon my wake.

You were never there to ease the down pouring of my loss, no, you simply acquired a new edge to dancing in the rain.

I've yet to conceive why I tortured and tore myself down for so long, for such a pitiful, blackened end.

Although I must admit, your memory passes through my guarded thoughts occasionally, only to be triumphed and trampled by my final acceptance of our fatal truth.

       ..Oh, for the sake of saving soul, how I wish I could proclaim these words with my head held high and not a stitch of justified doubt boiling through my shattered, weary veins.

But no, ohhh Darling, no.

Something you posses has me dangling, captivatingly drawn by your very being, when all I desire is to lack the adequate emotion it takes to care in your name.

I want to be done, to be finished with all my chasing and waiting, these silly games you'd never play and I, as queen, unfulfillingly reigned.

Reign, something you have over my sympathy for you, sympathy that you've always taken for granted.. or neglected to take at all.

       Enough of this uncovered and mustered up pity parade and shameful charade

Honest thought of the moment? You're dead to me, as I remain to you.

Oh, is that just so uncalled for, Darling? Does it repair your blinded vision with my therapeutic medicine for the eyes?

But it's simply ever so fitting for your knack of losing sight of the one who has stood dead center, before your eyes, for years gone by.

How vain can you possibly get this year, shall we see?

Though you really shouldn't get your pitiful little hopes up; I'm not sure anything could recover your self-gouged eyes from the pain you've so nonchalantly caused by some pathetic excuse I refuse to support any longer.

       The longer my fingers rain storm across this much too familiar keyboard, the stronger my veins become as they send the perfect combination of blood and venomous words to the tips of my fingers, making the keys sing out in glorious release of each fitting string of letters.

I no longer desire to waste my rejuvenation on the essence of you living through this proclamation. No, I refuse to waste another second on you that you wouldn't spend with me.

       So pardon me, for as long as I wish, as I spend my precious time with the people who rebuild my scarred veins with a mere smile at my company, replacing the boiling doubt with dedicated coursing memories of time well spent.

And Darling, don't wait up for me.

Author's Note

Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Love this line in the beginning, a great beginning:
"I no longer feel your haunting abandonment creeping into my thoughts when my world silences itself."

Absolutely love how you described this here:
"The sound of my fingers hesitantly dancing across the dusty keyboard is a dim comparison to your laughter resounding in my sickened thoughts. "

Love the way you wrote and described this whole part with the emotions, nice:
"You no longer bind them, consume them as if you were oxygen in the flesh.
You cannot begin to fathom how refreshing your absence is upon my wake.
You were never there to ease the down pouring of my loss, no, you simply acquired a new edge to dancing in the rain.
I've yet to conceive why I tortured and tore myself down for so long, for such a pitiful, blackened end."

Such truth in this:
"Although I must admit, your memory passes through my guarded thoughts occasionally, only to be triumphed and trampled by my final acceptance of our fatal truth."

Love the way you speak here with the emotions:
" ..Oh, for the sake of saving soul, how I wish I could proclaim these words with my head held high and not a stitch of justified doubt boiling through my shattered, weary veins."

Nicely said:
"Though you really shouldn't get your pitiful little hopes up; I'm not sure anything could recover your self-gouged eyes from the pain you've so nonchalantly caused by some pathetic excuse I refuse to support any longer."

Love the ending:
" So pardon me, for as long as I wish, as I spend my precious time with the people who rebuild my scarred veins with a mere smile at my company, replacing the boiling doubt with dedicated coursing memories of time well spent.
And Darling, don't wait up for me."

Okay, just wow... this is brilliance in emotion and heart poured feelings and yet so strong. Your writes are a great length and yet once the reader starts to read it we/ I get pulled into the write of yours so so much. Excellent write. No need to shorten it at all, it has all it needs in the space you wrote it in. Amazing write... excellent, brilliant, lovely, write. Love it. lol You always capture me in your poems when you write, they are so good.

[joshua deathdealer]

Lots of depth and you had my attention all the way through. Well done.

[bethany cullen]

soo deep and intimate, lovely write xxx

[Richard Layne]

nicely done. i especially like the turn at the end! Could you shorten it a bit? Just kidding!

[jyfjygfgujhglkjgkutgfvk..]

NEVER SHORTEN IT!! I loved it! Every part of it had it's own strengths and importances. Amazing!

[J Todd Underhill]

No way should you shorten this, I think each piece is it's own entity and the creator is the one that determines whether it is the right length or not. well written a descriptive!

[Archia]

Oh I love the description. And the last line, I absolutely love that. Just the way it comes across the me as if it's all just a trifle matter, not really something importnat, but because of the rest you know that it's an important thing, and it's just wonderful. It seemed almost as if there was a whole story behind this person that was shown throughout, and yet it was just one moment it time. It was just amazing, Ioved it.

[Lyghea]

the emotion you put into it over whelms me. Even though I just started my teenage years, the words spoke to me as if I were older. Your wise beyond your years and it's perfect. Letting go is the first part to everything. Keep it simple ~ but with words that speak louder than anything. Keep it up. You have a great talent...use it well(:

[~ Stefanie ~]

I wouldn't ask you to shorten it! It's perfect! I loved it :) You have such an awesome imagination!

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

:) I think you have a huge imagination and you're a fantastic writer! I look forward to more of your writings.--Ashley