You Were The Rain

dedicated to a past love and all the feelings

I came quite easily to you, did I not?

 

Oh no, it was surely not a struggle to draw me in and maintain my stay. For I had never felt this strongly towards another and I was immensely beheld by all that you possessed. All that you were. All that I was lacking.

 

I could never really express how much you truly meant to me, and how much admiration I devoted to you. And for my lack of expression, I remain sincerely indebted to you.

 

 I find it accurate to say that I fell into a trance, a deep state of beckoning sleep in which I refused awakening. I was lost in your essence, and of course, your very being, which appealed to me as if you were a deadly sin, dripping with temptation. And I, I was your hopeful victim.

 

 All of who I was longed for you to echo my desire, my overwhelming need to be with you. You were not like all the rest. That, I was sure of. To me, you were the sun, the moon, and the stars, yet easily so much more.

 

Perhaps, Darling, you were the rain.

 

You came to me in such a lovely reality, but as the rain, you changed heart much too soon, leaving me in a disastrous state of despair. Oh, how it still pains me to recall such a dreadful decision, in which you left me no other escape. I had to end the storm, which also troubles me to say, required me to take shelter from the rain.

 

As I momentarily stop to gather my thoughts into words, at times I can still hear your faint, lingering whispers of our lives, once intertwined; the same glorious feeling of rain falling upon my skin.

 

Darling, you may have been the rain.

 

So please bury everything of us with this testament to everything you were, when you held me in the palm of your hand. Because for once in my life, I had the rain. For the rain was my breath, my desire, my passion. I breathed the rain. Then, it was as if I was commanded to hold my breath and end my breathing.

 

With every fiber of my being, I believe you will never truly fathom how much I missed you, missed your touch and your impact on my heartbeat, how dearly I missed the rain.

 

What if, Darling, you were the rain?

 

Though, just as the rain gradually grew colder, so did the way you had always held me in your eyes, so captivating, promising forever with just a shear glance. You brought upon me such a frantic state, so, so frantic. For I had realized then, that I was losing the rain. For a love once so immaculate had simmered into nothing but my mere haunting nightmares. Nightmares in which you could not conceive, and you, you would not save me.

 

As if you thought I could go on, unharmed, without the rain. Though how could I when the best of me was everything you were? Was always the rain.

 

Though do not worry your cold, careless heart. Do not stop to think of me now, for I have long ago ended the storm and the rain, and I have since mended my life. My scars have become less aware, and no longer pain me whenever you are near. I find a powering sense of serenity now that I no longer desire you, no longer desire to dance in the rain, to feel you close to me.

 

Although, it has become quite evident to me over our years apart, looking back Darling, I know now that you, you were always my rain.

Author's Note

Reviews are always welcomed! But please don't tell me to shorten it. I can't. Hahah :)

Reviews

[Lucas Grasha]

You make free verse the most honest form of poetry in existence; there isn't one bad thing I can say about this, other than the fact that you used the word 'trans' in stead of 'trance.'

Please keep doing what you continue to accomplish so well, because you're serving a great justice to contemporary literature.

(And I honestly hope you become published, some day.)

[zainul]

What a wonderful write!
I am experiencing various modes of rain for the last couple of days.
Sometimes,pleasant like petals of fragrant flowers while sometimes cruel like deluge,the rain is part of life,my love.
Thanks for sharing the unique piece.:)

[Alicia Beavis]

The tenth stanza/paragraph became quite repetitious in the use of "breathe/breathed" for me. This happened in a couple of other places too. Though, this is just my opinion so feel free to ignore it! :)

I'd say this was more prose poetry rather than just poetry but either way, 'twas a pleasure. I really like the last line and all that it means. Very nice.

[Legolas]

Just...incredible. This is such an amazing poem. Going in my library:) The way you are able to relay emotions is so incredible. I will definitely be sure to read your other poems:)

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Such words you sue to express your lost love and compare it to rain really expresses your screaming emotions that seemed to spill out and making this poem really capturing the readers into your heart. This is a very fine write, near perfect! And the picture you chose really expresses another side of the poem as well.

This is indescribably, i really like it

[saintlike]

verry nice

[reflectingus]

You told an amazing story in a beautiful way. You're really talented! plus, nice picture for the poem :P

[An owl on the moon]

This is a deeply painted glimpse into the heart... these echoed voices over time that move you still... This beauty, this refreshing place... and your love was there longing for understanding... and that deeper meaning. Beautiful and bittersweet.

[Richard Layne]

I love the honesty that comes across in this poem. The verse is terrific and suited for the images you describe. if i could offer two (hopefully) constructive criticisms and that's when you write "cold, careless heart" line, i would take that out--it doesn't seem to fit the glowing, if unflattering, picture of the former love. The other is -- i really like the line "perhaps, darling you were the rain." i like it better than the 2 variations you use later. How do you think it would sound if you just used the first line 3 times?
I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your work.