Struggle

A poem

Is it your touch that grabs ahold and inspires
Or simply what you gave away
An essence exquisite in beauty
Like the sunrise at each new day
Breathless when I watch you struggle
Knowing you will find a way
And bruised are your knuckles in triumph
With silent words on your face you display

Reviews

[Celie Rose]

"An essence exquisite in beauty. With silent words on your face you display." These two lines say it all. Deep and meaningful. Well expressed and written. Keep writing.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it

[Usman Muhammad]

Breathless when I watch you struggle
Knowing you will find a way
Now this is something new for me for which i have to praise your writing abilities.
Well written poem. Glad to read something new to me.
Will be looking forward to your other works.
Well done

[LapseOfMind]

Awesome, glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and your kind words

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words and thoughts. The words left the reader with good thoughts and place to be. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Patricia Stephmore]

First things first.....I read your poems because of your pen name ....lapseofmind....very poetic :P ......and your poem is very smooth I should say....yes abrupt.... But I wished it hadn't ended....beautiful...

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, for all you said. My pen name is just what I've used for years now for everything. I appreciate you reading and commenting on my work and I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I've been told before my work should be longer but as the muse dips her ink, it does run dry and the words must end. I will try and write longer work though from here on out

[Patricia Stephmore]

Your welcome.... Your writing is very beautiful and smooth... Especially the choice of words.....I am eagerly waiting for your long and pleasant poems @lapseofmind.... :P

[V]

Sentimental one, sensual also. I'm really into your choice of words and the imagery you created. It caught my mind but I have to criticize one thing: the sunrise line reads off somehow like too romantic, too gooey or syrupy kind of. I'd just leave it out or make a new line but that's on you.

[LapseOfMind]

I feel you on the sunset line and others do as well. If I wasn't lazy I might fix it because it does need changing. Thank you though for reading and reviewing, I really do appreciate it!

[V]

You're welcome. Change it whenever you feel like.

[Whoreable]

Your prose is beautiful! It ends on a very poignant note, and I loved the first line, it really drew my attention. The only thing I would revise is the 4th line, the imagery of a sunrise comes off as very cliche

[LapseOfMind]

Wow, thank you, I really appreciate it! Yeah, sunrises are cliche lol thank you again

[Philip Muls]

The obstacle is the way. The journey is the end.

That is what this reminds me of. I like the way you write about the human condition, the daily struggle.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it

[Cassie]

wow nick this is exceptionally beautiful, this words have made me think of my baby girl, the way she inspires my everything, the way she is my everything. this is so beautiful. Loved loved it.

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it! I wrote it about my wife. I watch as she endures the struggles that she does and i realize how much stronger than I am she is. She inspires me to be more and do better

[Rod]

"Breathless when I watch you struggle" I love this, very visual and well written.. Nice one

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it!!