The Day

Her hair flowed in the wind,
As her eyes were on the prize,
This is the day the winners were chosen,
She hoped to get the golden statue upon the desk,
But someone else was called,
Her face turned blue with sadness,
Then it turned red with rage,
Her hands helped her crawls up the stairs,
Everyone stared,
She smiled a creepy smile,
It made everyone shriek with horror,
She got closer to the woman who won her prize,
The woman dropped the golden statue,
The girl leaped for it and failed,
She hit the microphone,
Everyone gasped in despair,
She was knocked out,
No dip Sherlock,
She woke up and grabbed the statue,
She had a evil smile,
But instantly she vanished,
Greed dose not pay,
Nor dose rage...

Author's Note

this most likely sucks. But I tried.

Reviews

[Alisha Heistand]

I like it. It shows how desperately one can want something, but yet that want can turn into something unpredictable. Very nice

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it is an interesting story...does need some smoothing out...tweaking...spelling...some awkward spots where it is jumpy....but really has possibilities...
and is very different from the norm...a nice change of pace.

jacob

[zainul]

Adventure like yet meaningful for life.
Could you fix the spelling of 'dose' to 'does'?

[Zap-the-awesome]

That changes from real to fantasy real quick! XD awesome!

[jdr / Jennifer]

I think this is a really great write- interesting read- as if it were a story. Great flow, descriptive- definitely a little dark, but its unique. You have a true talent & I really enjoy your style of writing. I can't wait to read more! Thank you for sharing this creative piece of poetry.