The Minds Darkness

The mind can be a very dark place, consuming all it takes. 1 of 2

Like a black lake, 

That consumes you,

Your time, 

And your soul, 

You have become its silt

Like a shapeless cloud

That deforms you, 

Your mind, 

Your ways, 

You have become its rain 

Like a black abyss, 

That hides you, 

Your feelings, 

Your well being, 

You have become its pioneer.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice flow of thoughts led to good ending. I like the thoughts and visions create by your words. Good to become a pioneer. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lauren]

Thank you! I'm glad I could create visions for my poetry!

[Coyote Poetry]

The goal of a writer. Take the reader to another place. You did and you are welcome.

[Lauren]

Definitely, and thank you again! By the way, if you haven't read it yet, The Mind's Truth, is the sequel to this poem :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I will read now.

[Karmee]

OH WOW!! love your last stanza a lot.
this is really well written, thank you for
guiding me to it, glad I read it.

[Lauren]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

[Ian Craven]

Neat prequel. I like the connections you have made between the two poems.

[Lauren]

Thank you! And for your last comment on the sequel, it's super fun to do a two parted poem - it also allows you to create two different meanings that can conjoin together.

[Ian Craven]

Yeah and it's awesome because it gives you more to work with. Allows you to explore writing at a deeper level.

[Asante]

This certainly didn't disappoint! Excellent how you paint such a vibe that contrasts with The Mind's Truth, but holds true to the same theme. Darkness came before the truth illuminated.
Awesome work, yet again!

[Lorry]

Love how you capture so much of the title in so few words. The middle verse resonates in me, such an innocent, soft little thing like a cloud, enveloping you, merging its boundaries with yours and the maelstrom from within its chamber, knocking you senseless as you rain down so softly on all the heads below, that may well be tomorrows rain. Love this.

[Lauren]

Thank you, you couldn't have put it all in better words. Sometimes, something so beautiful, can feel disastrous to another person. Trapped in their world and unable to get out. It's why I wrote the second part, because to ever personal feeling of disaster, there is something magnificent going on around that you're contributing to, whether you can see it or not.

[Nathan D Baker]

Very nice!!! I love the delivery

[Lauren]

Thank you!