Light in the Darkness

"And God said, "Let there be light."

“God said, ‘Let there be light;’

and I was born.”

 

I have said this for years,

not really thinking much about it,

certainly not thinking of myself as a light,

but saying it because

a sense of humor

has gotten me through some of the

toughest times in life.

Fake it until you make it.

 

When love becomes hate

and a mother becomes a monster

and a father burns the bridge too far,

collapsing under the weight of infidelity,

light naturally slips through the cracks,

at least that’s what Rumi says.

 

The family tree was burned and scarred,

branches scattered here and there

with no clasping in between.

Truth was choked out and hidden

behind walls of obfuscation

like ivy consuming an abandoned home.

 

Flowers grew through cracked pavement

reaching for the light,

often trampled under the weight

of heavy souls without direction

but soles steadily moving,

looking to hide behind

the jagged edges

of a mirror without reflection.

 

But I really was that light

in the darkness.

 

My mother used to be a light,

snuffed out by hands of abuse.

She never learned to shine again.

 

A son was born

and given away,

a whisper ~ ~ ~

Michael Christopher.

 

A second spark was lit -

vanquished,

stilled,

quiet -

a miscarriage,

a curse or a blessing.

You decide.

 

My father used to be a light,

vanquished by parents lost too soon

and a feeling of being unloved.

He never learned to shine again,

a rebel.

 

Both of them found each other

in the darkness

hoping for the light,

but neither stood a chance.

 

And I was born.

 

My sister was born.

 

My mother fell into the arms

of my father’s best friend.

They both fell into a bed of contrition,

and my father witnessed the fall

of ashes around him,

the ruin of his marriage.

Everything burned to the ground.

 

At twenty-three, he left,

immersed himself with night,

drove himself into the oblivion

of a tall tree,

the impact

snapping his neck.

 

My mother continued to lay

in the bed she had made.

 

A third daughter was born.

 

With each new soul,

the light seeped through.

The darkness hovered round.

 

I can’t speak for the other two,

but the darkness almost drowned me out.

 

I was a portal to promise,

light shining through the keyhole

of a dark door slammed shut

against the sight of a brighter tomorrow.

 

I shined,

determined to turn away from the dark.

 

I shine,

despite the cracks and flaws.

 

One day,

my light will burst through the cracks

completely.

 

My wings will press downward

and backward,

and I will soar higher and higher

until I burst through

the clouds

into the bright light of heaven

from which I came,

from which I return.

 

“God said, ‘Let there be light,’

and I was born.”

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Well, this was quite the piece, wasn't it. Willweb summarized the exact thought I had when reading this, i.e., a "brave offering". Writings such as this don't easily flow out. They slowly purculate up through the soul for many long years then burst through the surface in an immense release inner conflict and emotion. The result is a powerful write.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Rick. For years, I have been saying, "God said, 'Let there be light, and I was born.'" It was humor on my part, but I honestly never thought too seriously about the statement. This poem was prompted by taking the time to sit with what I'd been saying, to elaborate on it. Thus, the poem. It is just my way of expressing my journey. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it.

[Rick Puetter]

You are most welcome.

[willweb]

What an amazing and brave offering you have penned and left out for all to see. Life is not easy, though I am sure some lives are easier than others, most of the time life is something hard to grasp and completely understand. Though, and it is only my opinion, this light that we are shines brightest when it is illuminating another and my friend, your is the brightest of all. Love you poem and your friendship. You are very special and I am bathed in the light of knowing you.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you so much. Yes, we can be a light to others and should be when we have dimmed only to shine again. Sharing that light can lift someone out of the darkness.

[Ken Simm.]

Such a wonderfully written and intelligently presented write. Of looking for love and as in life only rarely finding it. Full of stupendous lines all saying, perhaps here.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Ken. I always love seeing you.

[Weeping willow]

Such a beautifully expressed piece, I really love the flow of the story ;-}That being said I felt you're words so much in my heart as life can sometimes dim one's light.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

There is an ebb and flow to life for us all. We choose to bend or break.

[Jaffer]

You have a very amazing inner power some ppl might never recover from such tragedy. Well written.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you for reading and responded, Jaffer. I appreciate the visit.

[Chris Shaw]

Your journey has been troubled. So much darkness and yet your strength is evident in this writing. You continually search for that chink of light. You show determination and resilience. You are like the flower that appears in the cracked pavement. I am always moved by your poetry Linda. Thank you for sharing.

Chris

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Chris. Life is full of shadow and light. If we stand in front of the light, the shadows fall behind us. That's what I aim for.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

A constant light shines through the darkness of this poem...the speaker finds something that pulls her through so many tragedies. It is her strength of character and conviction. And much understanding that people are human and error...that does not condone much of what they do or cause...but it sheds light into the darkness of it all.
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Jacob. We each have our own journey, good and bad. I believe, or hope, that it makes us stronger.

[emipoemi]

I've been so used to you expertly crafting a profound and powerful tale in rhyme, laced with rich and mystical (even whimsical) language that dares be spoken aloud, that this free verse masterpiece came as a surprise! Granted, I too was a rhymer that now branches eclectically into free verse too whenever the occasions arise, so I had no doubt about the ability, but the result of what to me is your first just leaves me 😱. As much as I loved the progression of everything, I do have to admit I didn't fully understand the connection of the couple of stanzas between the mother and father being lights. They seemed rightly placed in the progression and they add to the already established brilliance, but just couldn't figure out whether they referred to the mother, the father, or both respectively (maybe I need to read it again.....). But hooooly mole! What a poem! What a piece! Just marvellous! Well done!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Oh my goodness! It is such a pleasure to see you. It seems like it has been years, and I honestly thought you had abandoned the Writers' Cafe for greener pastures. I hope that you are doing well.

As for any confusion, my apologies for that. As far as my mother goes, she was abused/molested by her stepfather. The result was the birth of her son, Michael Christopher, whom she put up for adoption. The second child (not sure of the father) was lost due to a miscarriage. Both of my father's parents died when he was a young boy. He was raised by an older brother but never felt that he was loved, so he rebelled against everything. I think each and every one of us is born a light. Such terrible things happening in life, however, can dim that light. This was the case with both of my parents. Hope this helps explain things a little better for you. So good to see you again!

[emipoemi]

Yeah, like I said, I may have had needed to read it again to understand the full progression. Still love it!

I agree that we are all born lights that dim when not allowed to shine the way we feel we need to shine. Kind of getting that feeling a lot these days (especially during Covid). Haven't been seen as the light I could be and just feeling euy....

I actually disappeared from here because all my closest friends on here had disappeared without a trace and nothing was really bringing me back. Had the thought to see what was going on and found a few people did return so I'm slowly coming back myself. Good to see you're still kicking around.

[Sami Khalil]

A most touching poem with your joyful birth then the hardships your family went through; you kept a strong, healthy and hopeful outlook regardless of all these tragedies. You should be commended. You are a light indeed, and hopefully you stay bright for all years to come.
Hang in there; we all have our stories.
I salute you for the courage it took to share.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Sami. It is what it is. I cannot undo what has been done. I can merely go forward into the future and hope for the best.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! So true and well articulated. You are welcome

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

this is a really powerful poem other than saying that I am left speechless by the family tragedies you expressed in this poem

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you. Unfortunately, it's all true and a part of my journey.